Yamis of Torture
by Yugi and Mai
Summary: Three hikaris are stuck living with their three sadistic yamis. And when the yamis are being quiet.You know something's wrong...(YY,MM,RB later on).Written by Mai.
1. Chapter One: The first victim

**Yamis of Torture**

Mai:Hi, I'm Mai, the younger of the Y and M siblings. This is one of my first few fanfictions I ever wrote, and I think I started it a few months ago, early January or something. And here I am, 11-12 months later with only 20 chapters of my story (and I'm FAR from ending it at the mo...). As I was saying before, this was actually, I think, the second ever fic I wrote, my first was 'yugi Muto's Diary', which my close pals will know of.

With 20 chapters already, fast updates are indeed likely. By the way, this fic was written ALL by ME, however, I got a lil' help from my friends (who else suddenly thought of that song?! 'With a lil' help from my friends.') And YES you guys, and most wonderful reviewers shall get mentions!!!

Bakura: Are you gonna' get on with it already?! YAMI'S OF TORTURE FIC HERE!! ME NEED TO TORTURE!!!

Mai: Oh, yeah, later hon', actually, would you like to say the disclaimer?

Bakura: Can't I say what this is about?

Mai: Fine.

Bakura: Yay!!!! I mean- MUWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA-

Mai: Enough of the dramatics 'Kury.

Bakura: Very well. Ok. This story is about the three yamis(Yami,Malik Bakura) (MEEEE!!!) who live with their hikaris(Yugi,Marik Ryou)in a VERY large house.Unfortunatly for the hikaris,the yamis like to torture them.(Hense the title 'Yamis of torture')It is very cruel on the hikaris I know,but it's fun for the yamis. And seeing as I'm in a rare NICE mood... Mai does not own Yu-Gi-Oh!. Or me for that matter.

Mai: Aww...

Bakura: She only owns this fanfiction.(sigh) NOW may I go kill the pharaoh and set up my plans for World Domination after the 57th time of trying but failing?

Mai: Sure. Right, now if there's nothing else. I hope you enjoy the ficcy. Please review!!!

I'M COMPLETELY AWARE OF THE LACK OF PROPER GRAMMAR ETC SO DON'T MENTION IT. Please? Oh, and DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!!! FLAMES WILL BE ACCEPTED SINCE I'M A PYROMANIAC, BRING ON THE FIRE!!!!

**Key**

/........./ mind link

"........." speech(obviously)

_italics _thought

**Chapter One:The first victim.**

Yugi layed back on the red armchair and silently drank his hot chocolate,Ryou and Marik sat in armchairs opposite him,so the three formed a little triangle infront of the blazing fire.

Marik put down his own drink and stretched,"Hmm...it's quiet in here..too quiet..."

Ryou nodded,"Usually,Bakura and Malik would be using explosives in the bathroom.."

Yugi frowned,"I have a feeling our Yami's are up to something..."

Marik sighed,"Someone go and check on them."

Yugi frowned,"I ain't goin' up there!Not when those hooliguns are being so quiet!"

Marik and Yugi's heads turned to their white haired friend and then grinned to each other, "Oh Ryou..."

"NO!You can't make me!Y-you're supposed to be my friends!"Ryou stuttered.

Marik smiled,"We are.But we need you to go check on them....please?"

Ryou gulped,and stood up,picking up a torch on the coffee table,and made his way up the stairs,Yugi and Marik gulped,"What a brave guy..."

Ryou slowly walked along the dark corridor,the floorboards creaking each step he made,he sighed,"Why the hell was I picked for this?!"

There was an even louder creak of the floorboards,but he didn't do it,he froze and looked around,"Come on Bakura,Malik,Yami,I-I know you're out there!!"

There was another creak,his hands grew sweaty from holding the torch,he suddenly remembered he had brought it,and turned it on,there was a flash,then it went out,he sighed,"Stupid torch."he threw it on the floor and continued to walk on.

Yugi drank up the last of his drink,"Are you sure we shouldn't go help Ryou find them?He's outnumbered by three mad Yami's you know."

Marik shook his head,"No...we can't do anything now,seeing as the Yami's took away all the lightbulbs upstairs,it will be only a matter of minutes before Ryou gets lost,then they'll get him,the yami's love it up there,it's full of different corridors,no doubt they're waiting for one of us to get lost up there."

Ryou kept walking on,"Damn those stupid yami's,if only they'd left the lightbulbs in the lights,then I could see where I'm going..."he leaned against a wall and sighed,raising his hands in the air,"Oh great!I'm lost,with no idea where I'm going,and there's three yami's that are just waiting to scare the hell outta' me,how fantastic..."

He walked on further,then stopped,he could hear the yami's creeping about,suddenly,someone wearing a mask ran straight towards him,holding a chainsaw.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Ryou screamed,suddenly,another masked person grabbed him and pulled him into a room...

Yugi was startled by Ryou's scream,he gulped,"M-Marik,I-I think they've got him..."

Marik nodded,who was also shaking in fear,"W-We can't help him now,it's far too late."They heard a manic laughter coming from upstairs,"Holy Ra,I don't like the sound of that..."Marik gulped,Yugi hugged a cushion,"I'm scared!!!!"

Marik sighed,"You're scared?!When Ryou's the one that's up there?!"

Yugi sniffed,"There goes a fine Englishman."he said,making a little salute.Marik sighed,"You idiot,we don't know whether he's dead yet!!!"

Yugi smiled,"Oh yeah!"

Ryou looked around the room,it was empty,say for a black chair on the other side of the room,Ryou wriggled around on the chair,which someone had tied him up to.The black chair swivelled round,the person was wearing a cloak,yet,Ryou could see spikes from under the hood,"Hello Ryou..."he stood up."Welcome to our torture chamber..."

Ryou gulped,"Shut up Yami."

The person gasped,"How do you know my name?!"

Ryou sighed,"Because one:Yugi told me,.and Two:I 've known you for ages."

The person put his hands to his face,"The child is cursed!!!He is a spirit of Seth!!!"

Two people,who were obviously Malik and Bakura,walked into the room.One of them walked up to Ryou,"Why do you interfere with our plans baka?"Ryou sighed,

"Look,I know who you all are,so quit it with the cloak thing and untie me!"

The three people shrugged and took off their cloaks,as Ryou knew it was the three yami's.

Bakura crossed his arms,"Why'd you have to muck up our fun?!"

Malik grinned and patted Bakura's shoulder,"Ah,but the fun has only just begun..."

Bakura grinned,as did Yami,"Heh,heh...you're right Malik..."he laughed.

Ryou gulped,"Why haven't you untied me?!"he asked,Malik laughed,

"Because Ryou,if you had heard what Yami said,this is the torture chamber,and once someone comes in,they can't go until they are tortured...."he grinned,"So it looks like you're our torture victim today Ryou..."

Yami turned the lights off.Malik untied Ryou and chained him to the wall,Ryou heard him picking up different weapons,"Hmm..."he said,"Desicions,desicions...ah ha!"He laughed,"This is gonna' be fun,but not for you off course."He unchained Ryou and the three yami's chained him down on a wooden board,Malik sighed happily,"Bakura,I believe this is your speciality,I'll leave you to it."he took a step back,Bakura grinned,"This Ryou,is called the rack,ever heard of it?"Ryou nodded,Bakura smiled,

"Good.So now we know what's going to happen,I can begin the session."

Ryou gulped,"Please don't do this Bakura!!!What have I done to deserve this?!"

Bakura thought for a moment"Um...nothing really,but,I like torturing people,but don't worry!It'll be over in half an hour!"

Ryou let out a small 'eep' ,Bakura turned a large wheel and Ryou gasped in agony,"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"he screamed.

Marik frowned,"THAT'S IT!I'm not having those bakas torturing Ryou all night!Come on Yugi,we're going upstairs."

Yugi gulped,"You have to be kidding Marik!"

Marik shook his head and took out his millenium rod,"No.I'm not kidding Yugi."

Marik and Yugi walked up the stairs and into the dark corridors...

Bakura turned the wheel again and again,enjoying his hikari's pathetic screams.

Malik held his hands over his ears,"Shut him up already!!!"he growled,he picked up a cloth and tied it round Ryou's mouth."There."he sighed"He was giving me a bloody headache."

Bakura sighed,"Sorry Malik."

Marik and Yugi continued to walk through the corridors,Yugi frowned,"How are we gonna' find our way through the dark like this?!"he asked,Marik smiled,and whispered a few Egyptian words.The end of his millenium rod glowed,Yugi stared in awe,Marik smiled at his shorter friend's reaction."The rod will glow while we are in the right direction."

Yugi smiled,"Cool..."

Eventually,Yugi and Marik came to a room,the millenium rod was glowing much brighter than before,he sighed with relief.

/They're in here Yugi/

/Let's go./

/You ready Yug'?/

/Obviously.Yes/

/Then let's go./

/No!/

/Why not?/

/You do wanna' save Ryou don't you?/

/Yes.../

/Then stop whining and let's go!/

/Ok.../

/Look.Trust me Yugi,I'll deal with them./

/Ok!/

The pair walked into the room and saw their poor friend on the rack,the yamis' turned round."Oh!It's wittle Marikky coming to save Ryou!"Malik giggled,Bakura smiled very evily,"Ok,you can have Ryou back."He unchained a very tired Ryou and watched him walk over to Marik and Yugi.Malik frowned."Bakura!Now we can't torture anyone!"

Bakura smiled,"But Ryou's already tall,so it wouldn't have made a difference however much we stretched him...you see...we need to stretch someone that is of a short size...and I know just the person...."Malik and Bakura looked hopefully at Yami,he nodded and clicked his fingers,the pair shoved Marik and Ryou out of the room and grabbed Yugi,locking Ryou and Marik outside...

Mai: Hi again!!! I hop you liked the chappy. Yes, I know it's rubbish, but bare with me, THE CHAPTERS IMPROVE A LOT!!!! DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW AND I'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!!!!

XMaiX

(If you have any queries feel free to state so in a review.)

Thank you for your time in reading this. And another thing, the chapters get VERY longer.


	2. Chapter Two: Curiosity killed the cat, a...

**Chapter Two:Curiosity killed the cat,and punished the hikaris.**

Mai: Hi people. I'm back again!!!!

Bakura: Me too!!!!!!!!!!

Mai: Ok, let's go straight into this. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Kazuki Takahashi does.

**Also, thanks to-**

**hikarinotenshi15- **Thanks for the review and E-mail address. I'll keep it in mind for later on.

**okhami majin-** Yami is out of character, as you told me in your review, HOWEVER, there is a reason for that. (Which you'll discover in later chapters.)

**S.Chensu and Luff- **Yes, you were one of the first people to read this, and I know you like it, so I hope you like this chapter.

And **FINALLY,** my sis' Yugi, who reviewed me for the sake of it.

This is one of my many chapters, and I hope you all like it, so keep reading AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!!!

**FLAMES SHALL BE USED TO BURN ANY CHARACTER YOU WANT!! JUST TELL ME IN YOUR REVIEW WHO YOU THINK THEY SHOULD BE USED ON AND WHY. THEN WE'LL HAVE A LITTLE VOTE! WHILE I DO SOME CRAZY DRUID DANCE AROUND THEM WHILST THEY BURN!!!**

Bakura: And I thought **I **was crazy...

Mai: You are dear tombrobber. I'm just a pyromaniac.

Bakura: Ok...

Mai: ENJOY CHAPPY AND REVIEW PLEASE!!!

**Chapter Two:Curiosity killed the cat,and punished the hikaris.**

Marik sighed,"Damn those bakas!Now we gotta' save Yugi!"He turned to Ryou,who was laying on the floor,"Are you ok Ryou?What did they do to you?"

Ryou sat up,still trying to catch his breath,"They tied me onto the rack and started stretching me.."

Marik sighed,"Are you ok now?"

Ryou nodded,"Uh..kinda'"

Marik frowned,"I'm gonna' kill those phsycos in a second!"

Ryou seemed alarmed by this comment,"But how are we gonna' get in there?!"

Marik smiled,"We can bust in there using their weapons."

They then started to discuss their plan in a mind link.

/What do you mean,we can use their own weapons?Where can we find them?/

/In the three yamis' rooms' of course,but be careful for Ra's sake!We don't wanna' let them hear us!/

/Ok,I'll try my best./

Marik nodded,"Good.now then,you check Bakura's room,and I'll go in Malik and Yami's."

The pair walked off to the rooms,only...they had both gone into the wrong ones...

Yugi struggled as they chained him to the rack,Yami smiled,"Ah bless,the poor kiddie's gonna' get tortured!"

Yugi frowned,"Let me go!!"he demanded,Yami grinned,

"But you always said that you wanted to grow,so we're gonna' help you!"

The three yamis laughed,and so,the stretching commenced.

As Ryou walked further into the room,he grew confused._That's strange,Bakura doesn't have long capes or a millenium rod on his desk....A MILLENIUM ROD?!Oh god...I'M IN MALIK'S ROOM!!!!_

/MARIK!!!/

/What is it?!You're hurting my ears!/

/Sorry,but it appears that me and you have kinda' goneinthewrongrooms./

/What d'you say?I couldn't hear anything./

/Meandyouareinthewrongrooms./

/What?!/

/Umm. Me.and.you.are.in.the.wrong.rooms./

/WE'RE WHAT?!Oh Ra,Ryou,BE CAREFUL!Malik has laid traps to avoid intruders,only he and the other Yamis can see them though!/

/Oh great,thanks for that./

/You're welcome./

Yugi whimpered in pain,"Why are you letting them do this too me Yami?!You're supposed to protect me!!"

Yami sulked,"But I need to watch someone get tortured,it was a tradition in my days."

Yugi frowned,"Yeah,well your days are over so stop being a dumbass and STOP THEM ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The three yamis stared at him in shock.

"Well,umm...looks like we'll have to stretch that baka mouth of yours a bit more then."Bakura panicked,never had he seen Yami this furious.

Yami crossed his arms."I am not amused with your speech."

Malik grinned,"Yugi's in trouble!"

Bakura sighed with happiness,"Ahhh..how I love to hear people scream,their pain siezes to faze me.Anyway,let's continue shall we?"he said,looking nervously at Yami.

Yami walked across the room and sat on the chair,"The boy shall be kept imprisoned for the night,untill he learns to watch what he says and whom he speaks such foul words to."

Malik and Bakura nodded,"Sure thing."Malik said with a smile,Yami frowned,

"You shall call me 'sir' you fool,now,proceed Bakura."

"Y-Yes sir."They said.

Ryou cautiously walked across the room,"Oh dear,oh dear,oh dear...there's traps everywhere,and I don't know where they are..."he continued to walk along,till he felt something clamp on his feet,he was then lifted up to the ceiling."Oh shit..."he groaned.

Marik jumped on the spot,/Ryou,what's happened?!/

/Um...I'm dangling from the cieling by my legs at the moment.../

/Oh fuck..look,stay right where you are!/

/Does it look like I can go anywhere?!/

/Oh yeah,well,hold on!I'll be there in a sec./

Suddenly,Marik tripped over and was swept off the ground by a giant net.

"SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS BLOODY THING!!"

/RYOU!!YOU NEVER TOLD ME BAKURA HAD TRAPS IN HIS ROOM!!/

/I never knew./

/Oh great,looks like we won't be saving Yugi tonight.../

/You really shouldn't have shouted like that when you got caught in the trap./

/Why not?/

/Because I bet the three yamis heard you and will come looking for you.../

/Oh Ra...../

Malik turned round,"I swear I just heard Marik..."

Bakura nodded,"And he sounded like he was in my on Malik,let's go get him."

Malik closed his eyes,a purple glow emmited from the palm of his hands,he stayed like that,then returned to normal.Bakura stared at him."What did you do there Malik?"

Malik grinned,"The pair of em' decided to go in our rooms to find something they could use to smash the door down to save their lil' buddy 'ere."

Bakura smied,"So now Marik's got caught by one of my traps?"

Malik nodded,"Yes,and it seems that Ryou stumbled into one of mine..."

Bakura grinned,"Let's go get 'em!"

Malik sighed,"But we have to stay and torture Yugi,remember?"

Yami stood up,"You two can go,me and Yugi need to have a little talk..."

Yugi gulped,"Eeep..."

Malik and Bakura nodded,then left the room...

Ryou groaned.

/The blood's rushing to my head.../

/Mine isn't./

/Yeah,that might be because you're not dangling from the cieling by your legs!!!/

/Yeah,that might be it./

/What trap did you get caught in anyway?/

/A net./

/Oh big woop!That's hardly scary./

/I know./

/I wonder when the yamis will realise we're caught in these traps./

/It won't be long./

/Why not?/

/'Cos I just heard some of them leave the room./

/Probably Malik and Bakura.Oww...heady hurting./

/Quit whining Ryou!We're bound to be in more pain once they catch us!!!/

/Oh yeah.....my head still hurts though!/

/I think I can hear them now.../

Ryou dangled there and watched the door open...it was Malik.

"Why hello little Ryou,now why are we caught in a trap?"

Ryou gulped,"Um...because...I er...I needed the toilet,and I got lost!"

Malik sighed and laid against the wall,"Liar.I read you and Malik's minds,I know perfectly well that you were trying to find something to bust the door down with!However..I'll let you off this time...but you must follow me back to the torture room,if you run,I will chain you back up there and I won't think about letting you down again,got it?"

Ryou nodeed,Malik reached for a lever and pulled it,Ryou hit his head on the floor,"Ow!Fuck!Head hurting VERY badly!!"

Malik grinned,"Sorry 'bout that..."

Ryou hands were suddenly cuffed together....

Yami looked down at his hikari,"So,did you enjoy calling me a dumbass?"

Yugi gulpd,"Ummm....I don't know...."

"WRONG ANSWER!"

Yami turned the large wheel,Yugi screamed,"Why are you doing this to me?!"

Yami sighed,"Because I have nothing better to do."

Yugi tried to break free,"Please!I'll do anything!!Just let me go!"

Yami shook his head,"Nah,I'd rather watch you scream."

Yugi frowned,"$$#01e."

Yami smiled,"You know,when I first saw you,I never thought you would say stuff like that to me...ah well,I'd better continue stretching you hadn't I?"

Yugi shook his head rapidly as Yami continuesly turned the wheel,

"Stop Yami!STOP!!!!!!!!!!!"

Bakura looked up at Marik,"Heh,heh,what have we got here?A little runt caught in a net!Well,that hardly suprises me,you're always so curious."

Marik frowned,"GET ME OUT OF THIS BLOODY NET RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!"

Bakura crossed his arms,"You're not very nice are you?"

Marik glared at him,"Just let me go."

"And why should I do that?"

"Because I'm gonna' kill you if you don't"

"But how are you gonna' reach me if you're in that net?"

"Grr...just let me out already!!!"

"Say please."

"Please?"

"Please what?"

"Please can you let me out of this net please."

"You forgot to say allmighty Bakura with that,and you must pray with that hand thingy."

Marik frowned,"Please may you release me oh almighty _more like dumbass_ Bakura from this net?"

Bakura smiled,"See?It doesn't hurt to have manners!"

"Then why don't you take advice from yourself?You aren't exactly well mannered either!"

Bakura frowned,"So?Anyway,I'd better get you down now,how else are we gonna' let you on the rack after Yugi?"

He freed Marik,Marik frowned,"What do you mean I'm going on the rack?!You are not taking me on that thing!!!"

Bakura sighed,"Relax!It won't hurt......much..."

Marik gulped,"Bollocks...."

Yugi sighed,_I hope Yami hasn't stretched me to much,otherwise I'll be even taller than Malik!_

He watched as Malik and Bakura returned,with Marik and Ryou handcuffed.Bakura smiled,"How's it hanging phary?"

Malik smiled aswell,"Yo Yami!"

Yami frowned,"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME PHARY AGAIN!!!!!!"

Malik and Bakura hid behind their hikaris,Yami sighed,"The torturing is over for tonight,I'm not in the mood."

Malik and Bakura uncuffed their hikaris and released Yugi from the rack,Yugi wobbled a little.Bakura sniggered,"Heh,you grew a bit whilst we left!"Malik caught Yugi before he fell on the floor,"Don't worry Yug',you'll return to your normal height in a few days time.."Yugi nodded and walked out of the room..

Mai: OK, there is rather dodgy punctuation, grammar etc, which after reading this, am HIGHLY aware of. Hope you liked it and don't forget-

'A review a day will keep happy smiles on the author/authoress's face.'

THANK YOU.

NOW PRESS THE ICKLE PURPLE THINGY AND SEND, SEND, SEND, MAI A REVIEW!!!

Please?


	3. Chapter Three: Flames, plushies, hugs an...

**Yami's of Torture**

Hello and welcome to another chappy of 'Yami's of Torture', I will first thank the following people(cor', that was a bit posh weren't it?):

**Duelgirl- **The hikaris are quite mouthy aren't they? It's funny you pointed that out, well, the hikaris are more used to their yamis nowadays and aren't too scared of them no more. Hmm...was Yugi ever scared of Yami? We wonder...

**Dark Magicain Girl/ Hikaru- **Yes. In truth, I like the whole crazy and humerous ways to the yamis, it suits them, especially Bakura, well, if you liked that, I'm sure you'll enjoy the future chapters I've written already.

**Jade Cade- **Soz if you didn't like the cruelty to the hikaris, they are merely innocent beings, but it's only a bit of fun. (Ok...that sounded SLIGHTLY strange...) The romance is slightly later on, but it won't be too long a wait I promise. Oh, and this is actually a sort of dark humour too. Finally, please don't poke my story... it will have a big hole in it...

**S.Chensu and Luff- **My good ol' chums, thanks a lot for reviewing me you guys! Yes, Pugi's grammar sucks compared to mine, despite the fact she's older and has had more experience in the ways of grammar etc, well, you know what it's like with her, in one ear and out the other...

**Genjyo-Sanzo21- **After reading through, I realised that Ryou did swear slightly TOO much... oh well! So, you thought it was funny? Thanks a lot for that! Well, here's the next chappy like you wanted, so keep reviewin' bud!

**As for you others, I know you're out there, and thanks for your earlier reviews!!!!!**

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Kazuki Takahasi does.

**Chapter Three:Flames,plushies,hugs and VERY wierd yamis.**

The next day, Yugi, Marik and Ryou were sitting back in the main room by the fire, and there was no sign of their yamis...

Yugi groaned and rubbed his legs, "I hate being tall..."

Marik sighed with relief, "I'm just glad that I wasn't stretched..."

Ryou frowned, "Yes well aren't you a lucky bugger,some of us landed VERY hard on their heads when they were dangling on the ceiling by their ankles!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yugi got up, "Hey there's no need for any fighting! Besides, we have THEM to worry about."

Marik and Ryou nodded.

Yugi sat back down, "I wonder why they aren't down yet..."

Marik grinned, "I nominate Ryou to go see what they're doing!"

"But why me?! I went up there last time!! And you know what happened after that!!"

Marik sighed, "Yeah, well, we'll come rescue you when they get you, now go!"

Ryou groaned, "SURE you'll come rescue me! Probably after you escape another net!!!"

Yugi sighed, "What did I tell you two about fighting?! Please Ryou, go check on them."

Ryou nodded, "Alright, I'll go..but don't blame me if I get caught by them again!!"

Marik smiled, "We won't!"

The pair watched Ryou walk back up the stairs...

Bakura walked into Malik's room , "I'm tired..."

Malik nodded, "Yeah,me too."

Suddenly, the tri-coloured pharaoh came into the room, "Quit moaning you two...oh, and Malik, it's your turn tonight."

Malik grinned, "Yay.....fun for me!!!"

The three suddenly looked at the door.

"I hear footsteps..."Bakura whispered.

He got up, Malik got up aswell.

"Do you need help?"

Bakura shook his head, "Nah..I'll deal with them myself...you see, if we be really nice to the hikaris, they'll start liking us, and then..."

"And then?" Yami asked, the sense of curiosity flowing through his voice.

"And then we can torture them! They'll never suspect a thing!" Bakura sqealed.

Malik giggled, "Me like very much! Go Kury Go!"

Bakura winked, "And if I'm correct, I think it's young Ryou who just came upstairs..."

Malik frowned, "How'd you know that?"

Bakura grinned, "I can just tell..."

He turned and walked out of the room..

Ryou walked round the corridors, sure, at night it was pretty dark, AND very scary. However, it looked quite nice in the daytime, Ryou looked around him, then a voice came in his head.

/Hey Ryou, you found them yet?/

/Nope. No sign of them yet Marik, but I'll keep looking./

/Good, just keep looking./

/I will./

The mind link ended and Ryou continued to walk on, till he heard a familiar voice.

"Ryou! Wait for me!"

Ryou turned round and watched his yami running towards him.

"Oh shit..."

Bakura smiled and started waving untill...he fell over...

"Owiee..."

Ryou sighed, "You idiot Bakura...."

He helped Bakura off the floor, and then was given a big hug.

"So how's my little hikari doing today?"

Ryou gulped, "Um...fine...hey Bakura..."

Bakura smiled, "Yes?"

"Have you had anything sugary today? You've gone kinda'..."

Bakura let go of him, "Is there a problem with me showing love and affection to my wonderful hikari?! You're mean!!!!!"

Ryou sighed and watched his yami cry, "Look, I'm sorry Bakura, but you never usually care for me, that's all..."

Bakura cried even harder, "I DO CARE!!!!!"

Ryou put a hand through his hair, "Bakura, stop crying..."

"I WON'T!!!"

"Oh crap...please Bakura, just shut up..."

"NO!! YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERSON!!!!! sniff I want a hug..."

Ryou hugged him, "There, now please...just shut up..."

Bakura hugged him back, "I love you Ryou!"

Ryou felt a bead of sweat on his forehead, "Oh...that's very nice Bakura...now please let go of me before I end up screaming..."

Bakura shook his head, "Nah, you're nice and cuddly...like a plushie!!!!!"

Ryou sighed, "Stop it Bakura!!!!"

Bakura smiled, "This is fun isn't it hikari?"

Ryou gulped, "No, not really...."

Back in Malik's room, the other two yamis were in hysterics.

Malik sighed, "Heh, Bakura is so good at acting!"

Yami nodded, "Yeah, he's killing me!"

Malik grinned, "Yeah, and you're already dead!"

Yami frowned, "Ha ha very funny."

Malik noddede enthusiasticly, "Yeah, wasn't it just?"

Yami sighed, "Yeah...."

The pair continued to laugh in Malik's room...

Marik and Yugi stared at each other in shock.

"I thought Ryou would have been the one screaming...not Bakura..."

Yugi nodded, "That's really weird..."

Marik nodded aswell, "Yes....very wierd...Yugi! Talk to him in your mind link!"

Yugi nodded, "Ok..."

Ryou sighed, "Bakura...please...let go...of me...I'm kinda' finding it hard to...b-breathe...."

Bakura smiled, "Sowwy Ryou...pwease forgive me!"

"I forgive you bakura..."

Bakura grinned, "But I'm still gonna' hug you!"

Ryou gulped, "Eeep..."

/Hey Ryou!/

/Yugi?/

/Yeah, it's me, hey, what's happening with you and Bakura?!/

/Um....Bakura's um....gone...mad.../

/Oh god.../

/Yeah, and now he keeps hugging me./

/Oh...that is a problem..../

/Yeah.../

/You really are in deep shit aren't you?/

/Definatly/

/Uh..well.I dont know what to do...so...you'll just have to wait untill his arms get tired from the hugging./

/Oh thanks for cheering me up mate!!!/

/You're welcome./

/Sheesh. You've hanged around with Marik for too long./

The mind link ended and Bakura finally let go of him, but still held his hand.

"Come on Ryou! Let's go downstairs!!!"

And with that, he dragged Ryou downstairs....

Malik sat up on his bed, "We'd better get going too, right Yami?"

Yami shook his head, "I'm not going to act....childish! My reputation as a pharaoh is at stake!!!"

Malik sighed, "You HAD a reputation as the pharaoh, Yami, we are now in the 21st century! Not in Egypt for Ra's sake!"

He grabbed Yami's arm and pulled him downstairs...

Marik and Yugi watched Bakura dragging Ryou downstairs.

"HI EVERYBODY!!!" Bakura smiled, which unfortunatly, reminded Yugi of T'ea.

(A.N: SORRY LUFF!!!!!!)

Marik and Yugi gulped, "H-Hi Bakura!"

Ryou groaned and sat down on an armchair.

"Bye, bye hikari!!!!"Bakura ran off into the kitchen.

Marik started to worry, "Uh...Ryou...shouldn't you go after him?"

Ryou sighed, "I can't be bothered..."

There was a sudden sound of something scraping on a rough material, and a flame suddenly ignited, Ryou jumped up, "BAKURA!!!!! KEEP AWAY FROM THE MATCHES!!"

He ran into the kitchen and watched his yami trying to burn a fork with a lit matchstick.

"Oh hi Ryou!" He smiled, Ryou frowned.

"Bakura! Put out that match!"

Bakura moaned then blew out the matchstick, Ryou took the matchbox away from him and left the room, however, Bakura took out a lighter from a small, hidden compartment behind a tile in the wall. He started to burn the fork again, whilst grinning amusingly at how it was rapidly bending out of shape. "Stupid hikari..."

Ryou slumped back on the armchair, exhausted all over.

"Next time Marik, go check on the yamis yourself..."

Marik grinned, "Heh, heh.."

Yugi looked at the stairs, Yami and Malik came down and sat on the chairs with their hikaris.

"Hello aibou!" Yami smiled, hugging Yugi.

Yugi, startled by his yami's actions, screamed. And a ve4ry loud scream it was too...It also scared the shit out of everyone in the room.

Yami laughed, "Sorry I scared you Yugi!"

"Uh...that's ok..." Yugi mumbled.

Malik hugged Marik, "So how are you doing today my oh so wonderful wittle Mawiky?"

Marik gulped, "Um...I'm ok...."

"Good!" Malik piped.

Marik leaned away from Malik, "Oh Ra...."

Bakura, who after managing to form the fork into a curl, stopped burning it, and grabbed it in his hands. "Owiee...very very very very hot!!!!!!" He cursed egyptian words under his breath as he started doing some crazy dance in thought that it might help the burning sensation on his hand.

He put the fork on the kitchen counter, then looked around the room, when something caught his eye...

Ryou watched amusingly as the yamis started freaking out their hikaris. Marik was leaning so far away from Malik that it looked like he would soon fall off the side, and Yugi was trapped in the pharaoh's hug. He then thought about his own yami.

_Maybe I should check on Bakura...nah, I took his matchsticks away from him so he can't cause any trouble..._

Unfortunatly, Ryou was wrong.

Bakura picked up the bottle of olive oil and began to pour it into the frying pan, "This'll be fun..."

He looked over at the lighter on the kitchen counter then nodded to himself, "Yes...very fun indeed..."

Yugi shifted about, trying to break free from Yami's grip, but failed.  
"Yami! Please let go!"

"But I don't want to! You're my lovely little hikari!"

"YAMI!!"

"But I'm the pharaoh! So you cannot command me!"

"Bloody hell..."

Marik gulped, "Ra help me...I'm trapped!!!"

Malik grinned, "So...what do you want to do?"

"Uh...get away from you!"

"That's not very nice wittle Mawik."

"Stop calling me Mawik."

"Mawik."

"Shut up."

"Mawik."

"I thought I told you to shut up?!"

"Sowwy Mawik."

"STOP CALLING ME MAWIK!!!!!!"

Malik jumped up, "Don't hurt me Mawik!!!"

Marik put his face in his hands, "Why me?!"

Bakura picked up the lighter, "This is it..." He put the flame to the olive oil and a large flame formed in the frying pan...

"WAHOO!!!!!!!!"

Everyone froze and turned their heads to the kitchen, Ryou jumped up and stared in anger and shock.

"BAKURA!!!!!!!!!!! YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Ryou ran in the kitchen, dodging his yami madly dancing around with the flaming frying pan.

"Put that fire out now!!!!!!!!"Ryou shrieked.

Bakura put the frying pan into a bowl of water and laughed.

"That was fun!"

Ryou put a hand through his hair, "No it wasn't Bakura, you could have burnt the whole kitchen!!!!"

Bakura sighed, "Well I enjoyed it...How about I give you a hug to make you better?"

Ryou jumped onto the kitchen counter, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Marik jumped up and ran into ther kitchen, "Ryou! Don't worry! I'll-what the hell?!"

He stared at them both. Malik, Yugi and Yami came in and watched.

Ryou stood on the kitchen counter trying to dodge Bakura's arms, "Bakura! I don't want a hug!"

Bakura smiled, "That's what you want me to think, but you DO need a hug really.."

"NO I DON'T!!!!!!"Ryou shrieked, Bakura started crying again.

"Wyou being nasty to me!!!!!" he sobbed, Malik smiled.

"Don't worry Kury...nasty hikari won't hurt you..."

Ryou got down from the counter, Bakura suddenly let go of Malik and hugged Ryou.

"Yay!Plushie Wyou!!!"

"I'm not a plushie!!!!"

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"But why not?! Everwyone woves pwushies!!!"

"Not everyone."

Bakura let go of him, "YOU EVIL PLUSHIE HATER!!!!!!!!!"

"I'm not evil..."

"Yes you are."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Shut up Bakura."

"Shut up Wyou."

"Stop calling me Wyou."

"Stop calling me Ba- oh...that wouldn't work for me..."

Yami smiled, "Anyway, seeing as you three are such lovely hikaris, we're gonna' take you out for the day!!!!"

Yugi smiled, "Wow...what a nice suprise..."

Ryou nodded, "Um...yeah..."

Marik laughed, "Uh...sorry to dissappoint you oh lovely yamis, but we..er...need to do homework!!"

Ryou and Yugi nodded, "Yeah!"

Malik frowned, "But you don't go to school..."

Marik smiled, "Heh, that's funny isn't it?! Well, we go to a club..."

"Whats this club about?" Malik asked.

Yugi smiled, "Dueling!!!!!"

Yami gasped, "AND YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF TAKING ME, THE KING OF GAMES?!"

Yugi gulped, "Um...no...."

Yami sulked, "You're mean..."

"Ok, if I'm mean, then I'm mean..."

Bakura smiled, "I know!! If the hikaris can't go out today, let them do their homework and then they can play with plushies!!!!!!!!"

Ryou covered his ears, "NO!!!!! NO MORE PLUSHIES!!!!!"

Yami grinned, /That's a good torture for you to try Bakura.../

/Yeah...that'll be fun.../

/By the way Bakura, do you actually like plushies?/

/Nah, me and Malik went into a toy shop because we didn't know that toy shops are full of shudderssoft and cuddly things, I hugged one and it appears I'm allergic to them.../

/How come?/

/I started to sneeze like mad as soon as I touched one./

/Oh.../

/Yes.Oh.../

/How about I get you a plushie?/

/Don't you dare pharaoh./

/Alright, I'll get you one, you soft wittle tombrobber!/

/NO!!!! You wouldn't dare..../

/Oh yes I would...../

/Right that's it pharaoh!!!!/

Malik and the three hikaris watched Yami and Bakura pulling each others hair,both screaming like little kids.

"Let go of me you baka pharaoh!!!!"

"Then stop pulling my spikes you ignorant bastard!!!!!"

"No!!! Not untill you let go of my hair first!!"

"Then it looks like I'll have to keep pullling your hair."

"OWWW!!!!!! LET GO OF MY HAIR YOU GODAMN DECAYING PHARAOH!!"

"I'm not decaying!!!!!"

"Woah! There goes one of your blonde bits!!!"

"Where?! B-Bakura, please tell me I'm not decaying!!!"

"Um...I think another one's falling off too."

Yami let go of Bakura's hair.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I'M OLD!!!!!!!!"

Bakura grinned and watched Yami running up stairs. "Yep, you said it pharaoh.."

Then Bakura stopped grinning when he heard Yami, and he was not sounding very friendly...

"BAKURA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Bakura gulped and watched the pharaoh storm back downstairs.

"Heh, um....can I have a head start?" Bakura grinned.

Yami grinned and held out a spray can. "You know Bakura....I always wondered what you hair would look like pink."

Bakura gasped, "Y-Yami...yo-you don't wanna' do that..."

Yami smiled, "Oh yes I do...."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Bakura ran upstairs, Yami sighed, "Ah, I love scaring him...."

Malik sighed, "I'd better go check on Bakura...."He walked upstairs, Yami sat down.

The three hikaris looked nervously at him. Yugi smiled, "H-Hi Yami..."

Yami waved, "Hi aibou!"

Malik suddenly came downstairs, "Ryou! Bakura wants to see you!!"

Ryou gulped, "Um...ok..." he walked upstairs, Malik grinned up at the clock.

"Heh, time has certainly flied thanks to Bakura's madness...only 2 hours untill it gets dark...and for the torturing to commence..."

The hikaris sat down and turned on the t.v, Malik sat down aswell and stared into the screen.

/Hey Yami!/

/What is it?/

/Only 2 hours left!/

/Good...I hope you have something planned.../

Malik grinned at him, /Oh don't worry Yami, I have the perfect torture in mind.../

/Any hints?/

/Knives.../

/Oh..I like it!/

/Yes,but I doubt the hikaris will.../

/Yeah, well we aren't supposed to torture them gently.../

/No, this torture is miles from gentle..../

/Just be careful.../

/What do you mean Yami?!/

/Our hikaris only have one life, so if you kill them, we'll be left with no one to torture, except ourselves, but that would be mad.../

/Excuse me Yami, but me and Bakura have gone way beyond madness.../

/Yes, I saw that this morning.../

Marik and Yugi huddled together.

"Yugi, I really don't like the look on our yami's faces right now...."

Yugi shook his head, "Neither do I Marik...."

(END CHAPTER!!!!!)

Hi again!!!!!! Now that we've come to the end of another chappy, I wanna' recommend some fics to ya.

**'A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events'- **If you haven't read this, be sure you do, this is written by my sis Yugi, it's about Yu-Gi-Oh! characters _basically _(her favourite word there!) saying things that sound very 'wrong' while someone ends up overhearing. It's a classic so be sure to check it out.

**'The pressures of life'- **Written by S.Chensu and Luff. Yet another great fic. If I'm correct it's actually written just by Luff. But anyway, the yamis and hikaris are couples, very nice scenes had to be edited (unfortunatly) but with Luff's skill at writing, it shouldn't make much of a difference.

**'Behind closed Blinds'- **By Lia Xaragi. (Or Lia McGregor as I know her, or like to call her anyway.) Yet another great humorous fic you guys should check out. I really love this. Despite it being the classical 'written at 3-in-the- morning thing' so I think she told me????? (Soz if I was wrong there Lia!)

**'Angelic Demons and Demonic Angels.'- **A supernatural story by my not-so-natural sis'. If you love Yu-Gi-Oh! and demon/angel fluffiness. Read this. I wrote one paragraph in this, and an honour it was too. Sniff Getting off the whole dramatic stuff now, please read this people, 'tis a real good fic and my poor sis can't help her bad grammar...

**'Seeing thru u'.- **If you like beyblades, you'll probably like this. It's mine, so who knows? It's probably a lil' naf so please bear with me!!!!! I really can't think of anything now...well, it's mine, and it's also your basic Kai/Ray with fluffy stuff later on. So, just read it for yourself. (Please?)

Last but not least**) 'Wish Lists'- **A beyblade fic by my pal Lia again, it's also Kai/Ray, but they're such a cute couple!!!!! And I've read plenty of Yaoi about them and it's all real good and so is this so go read it before I set Tala on you!!!!

Please review people...sniff It's nearly christmas for cryin' out loud!!!! So please please be so kind as to leave me a review. It don't have to be long, just so I can get some basic idea as to what people are thinking of it so far.

Have a nice christmas and I'll see ya next time!!!!!!!

XMaiX


	4. Chapter Four: Malik and knives, what cou...

**Yamis of Torture.**

Mai: I'm back, and because it's nearly christmas, (2 DAYS!!!!!) I'm feelin' nice to you guys, so, I'll update two extra chappys for ya. Be grateful I'm doiin' this...

Bakura: 'Tis the evil harpie woman gonna' thank anyone?

Mai: I will pretend I never heard that... Ok, time for the 'thank yous'!

Yugi: CAN I DO IT? PWEASE????????

Mai: No you little hyper... thing...

Yugi: I'M NOT HWYPYER MAI!!!!!!! I'M JUWST HERE TO SEE YOU!!!!!

Mai: Calm down sis'.

Yugi: I'M AM CAWLM!!!!!! I'M HAPPY WAPPY DAPPY TOO!!!!!

Mai: Uh...I kinda' gathered that... Anyway, no, you can't do any thank yous.

Yugi: WHY NOT?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Mai: Heh, um... YAMI'S NAKED OVER THERE! GO FETCH!!!!

Yugi: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mai: Now that she's gone, we'll thank you peeps.

**Dark Magicain Girl/Hikaru- **Hehe, when I wrote this story, yes, I intended on still keeping to the plot where the yamis torture the hikaris, but also, I wanted it a bit humerous, it wouldn't be nice if we had nothing but torture pain, torture pain, all the way through, it doesn't suit. And I want to keep the readers a bit more entertained with some good ol' humour. Plus the yamis are crazy, except Yami...

**PeaceSeeker- **Bless. You're so sweet to me... I hope you have a nice christmas aswell. As you wanted, I'm posting a chappy up early, and as I said earlier, I'm puttin' up another (maybe) tommorow. You think I'm talented? Thanks for saying that. If only other people were as nice as you!!!! Well, as you're so nice, you can review me as many times as you want, whether you're bored or just need someone to talk to, I'm all ears! I like it when I get reviews, so, feel free to when you want. That goes for others out there too!!!!!

**SilverDragon64- **Me and you have already discussed most the things you wanted to know, and I hope you ain't been tellin' others about the chapter!! Because some people have said they heard the idea from somewhere, and I don't think I mentioned it in any of my chapters... Oh well, I don't mind if you did. Anyway, thanks for the review!!!!

**Kitsuneyoukii- **Well, you had no questions for me, but two words which were gladly appreciated. I'm glad you liked the story and hope you like this next chapter aswell. Oh, and nice lil' face with the review too!

**Esther'nEra-goddess-ofChaos- **Bakura is merely different, and very sexy if you don't mind me saying... Poor guy isn't he? Having Yami wanting to get him a plushie? Nice evil laugh at the end aswell, very cool, very evil, just what I like.

**Genjyo-Sanzo21- **Wow. The whole humour part is actually working!!!!!!! I liked the whole plushie thing, and hugs!!!!!! I love 'em both!!!!!!!! Heh, poor Ryou don't you think?

**Jade Cade- **Everytime I'm reading your review, I end up laughing that you keep poking my story, it's funny though!!!! Well, keep poking, romance will be about chapter...8? But if I find a hole in the story, I'll know just who to blame...

**Eye-Of-Misery- **I love plushies too!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're 19-20? Woah... I'm only 13... GO YOU!!! I WANNA' GET RID OF YAMI TOO!!!!! The world WOULD be a better place... I mean, no evil would've arrived if he hadn't came out the damn chunk of gold, I would've sold it, you can pick up a lot of money for that thing.

Mai: Now that's all over and done with, go read the chapter!!!

Bakura: Evil harpie woman don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Kazuki Takahashi does.

Mai: Thanks hon'.

**Chapter four:Malik and knives,what could possibly go wrong?**

Ryou sighed, "What did you want Bakura?"

His yami was laying on his bed making egyptian curses, which were obviously about Yami because he heard 'pharaoh' and 'baka' a few times.

"Yami tried to turn my hair pink..." Bakura frowned, "and get me a plushie..."

"But I thought you liked them..." Ryou stared in confusion, Bakura shook his head.

"I lied. It seems that I'm allergic to the stuff that's inside 'em."

"Oh..." Ryou nodded, "Ok... so when did you realise this?"

Bakura grinned sheepishly, "Er... I um... well, me and Malik were just walking round town when we saw this toy shop thingy, I'd never heard of a toy before, and neither had Malik, so we went inside just for a little browse. It was then that we realised that it was full of cutsie things... I picked up a plushie and attempted to set it alight when I noticed there was a small hole in it, I pulled out the stuffing, then began to sneeze like mad."

Ryou laughed, "Heh, that's funny, a tombrobber allergic to plushies!!!"

Bakura crossed his arms, "I didn't find it funny!!! Ryou... it wasn't that funny..."

Ryou fell off the chair he had been sitting on and started rolling about on the floor in fits of laughter. Bakura raised his eyebrows and tapped his hikari on the shoulder, "Ryou?Uh... I did say it weren't funny... Ryou?! Oh I give up!"

He layed back down on his bed, Ryou smiled and sat up, "Sorry Bakura."

Bakura looked at the clock, "Hm.. not long till 'it' begins... Hey Ryou, let's go downstairs... I want some dinner..."

Ryou watched his yami leave the room, then looked up at the clock... "I wonder what he was saying just now... something to do with 'not long till 'it' begins' ..." he walked over to the open window, "Hmm... it's gotten dark quite quick lately ...hang on a second..." he looked back at the clock, then to the dark surroundings outside. "Oh god....that 'it' must be some kind of torture!!!! I've gotta' go tell Yugi and Marik!!"

He ran out of the room, only to be tripped up, "Ow.." he groaned, he felt a hand grasp the front of his jumper and pull him off the floor.

"It's rude to listen to other people's conversations...."

"Clearly you've been listening to mine if you're still here." Ryou stated.

Bakura paused for a moment, "I suppose I did...but, that doesn't matter too much, however... what you've just found out is something rather private to me, Malik and Yami, so I'm afraid you must remain in our torture room until we decide what to do to you..."

He threw Ryou into the torture room, "Enjoy your stay.." he grinned.

Ryou watched as the large door shut and heard locks being shut, then wrapped his arms round his knees. "Oh dear..." he sighed, "I'm in for it now..."

Marik and Yugi remained huddled together on a sofa, staring fearfully at their Yami's on the other side of the room.

/Hey Marik, wasn't Ryou with Bakura earlier?/

Marik nodded, /Yeah, I thought I just heard someone fall over up there.../

/Stop it Malik!/ Yugi frowned, Marik's eyes darted towards his shorter friend.

Yugi made a little 'eep' noise. If Ryou and Yugi knew one thing about Marik, it was that it was an insult to call him 'Malik'.

/What... did... you... just... call... me..?/

/I-I was supposed to say Marik!/

/Then if you were meant to say Marik, why did you say Malik?/

/B-Because... I um... well... you... two ...are ... kinda'...alike?/

/Do I have mad hair that nearly touches the godamn ceiling?!/

/No.../

/Do I torture people?!/

/Well... you did mind control lots of people during battle city.../

/Do I go around with a bloody tombrobber?!/

/Well... you do go around with the tombrobber's hikari.../

/Wow, you're good with comebacks Yugi!/

/Does this mean you forgive me for calling you 'M-/

/No./

/Not even a li-/

/No./

/How abo-/

/No./

/I cou-/

/Forget it Yugi./

/Aww... but can we at least still be friends?/

/Yes. Besides, with our torture obsessed yamis on the loose, we need to stick together./

/Yeah, but we don't have Ryou with us../

/Oh Ra! I nearly forgot about him!!!/

/Hey, Marik, I wonder what Yami, Malik and Bakura are doing.../

/They must be using their mind link too../

/What did you do with Ryou, Bakura?/

/Um... I... um... kinda' said something a little too loud and.../

/What?/

/Well, please don't kill me Yami, but Ryou overheard me saying that it wasn't long till 'it'./

/You mean the torturing?/

/Precisely, but don't worry, he was about to go tell Yugi and Marik, but I caught him and locked him up in the torture room.../

Malik grinned over to Yugi and Marik, /Perfect Bakura. Very well done indeed.../

Bakura frowned, /What do you mean?!/

/Well, I needed to get Ryou and Yugi away so I can easily use Marik for our torturing, seeing as he missed out on last night's event... But now, Marik will have to come upstairs and save Ryou, but Yugi can't come because his legs are hurting him still, and he's far to whimpy to come upstairs in the dark!!/

Yami nodded, /I suppose, but..he might not..../

Bakura raised his eyebrows /You'd better not be going soft on your hikari pharaoh./

/I'm not... it's just... that seeing as Ryou and Marik have so much courage... it's encouraging him to try his best to be strong like them../

Malik nodded, /Well... I suppose we shouldn't take him so lightly... after all... he is the pharaoh's hikari.../

Bakura nodded aswell, /Yeah... but... my hikari's a tombrobber!!!/

Malik laughed, /Your hikari's far too soft for a tombrobber!!!/

Bakura sighed, /It's his accent../

Malik grinned, /Mine's a tomb keeper that can mind control people!!/

/Shut up the pair of you.../ Yami frowned, /Sure, Ryou is a little soft sometimes... but I wouldn't doubt him... he's the hikari of Bakura you know!! The evil madman that plays around with flames!!!/

/Yeah, and I'm proud of it!!/ Bakura grinned.

/Hey, don't forget the plushies either!/ Malik smiled.

/Watch it./ Bakura sneered.

Ryou looked around the room, it seemed fairly normal, except for the rack and all the weapons etc..

"Looks like there's no escape now..." he sighed, his eyes then met some familiar gold objects... "Heh, how supid of the yamis to leave their own millenium items in here with me... I might aswell keep the millenium ring for now... seeing as I already have a millenium ring of my own, Malik and Yami will just think he lost it... now they will see that I'm not some a soft little englishman after all...."

He picked up the millenium ring and put it on, tucking it under his shirt.....

Bakura smiled, "How about I cook dinner tonight?"

"NO!!!!" Everyone shouted. Bakura turned to Malik and Yami.

"Why not?!"he asked.

Yami sighed, "Because none of us want you near flames after this morning's event."

Bakura smiled, "Heh, that was quite fun actually... even though I nearly did set Ryou's hair alight... but hey! That doesn't matter..."

Malik let out a short laugh, "Sorry Bakura, I think everyone is against you cooking."

Bakura frowned, "Nice to see you all have faith in me!!" he crossed his arms.

"We'll cook tonight!" Marik and Yugi smiled, running off to the kitchen.

Yami laughed, "They were eager to cook!"

Malik nodded, "Only 1 hour left now you two..."

Bakura and Yami smiled evily. Malik smiled too.

"Maybe I should use my millenium rod...."

Yami nodded, "You could do that.."

Malik reached for his millenium item. "Uh... oh dear... I... um... think... it's in my room..."

Bakura sighed, "Nice goin' nimrad!"

Yami laughed, "Um... he's not the only nimrad... I... um... kinda' left mine in my room too..."

Bakura grinned, "You two are such idiots!! I. The oh so wonderful tombrobber has his millenium item with him right now!"

Yami raised his eyebrows, "Oh did you now? How about you prove it to us then?"

Malik nodded, "Yes. Oh wonderful tombrobber, show us your ring!"

Bakura lifted up his shirt, "What the hell?! It must be somewhere..." he looked around him. "I swear I was wearing it last night!!!" He looked over and Yami and Malik's grinning faces. "Yep, you certainly are the wonderful tombrobber, Bakura." Malik laughed.

Marik and Yugi put the steaks in the oven.

"Wow, that was close." Yugi sighed, wiping sweat from his forehead.

Marik nodded, "Yeah... we almost had Bakura to cook our dinner.."

"It would be nice and black..." Yugi joked.

Marik smiled, "Yeah... I hate burnt food... it tastes disgusting..."

"But not to Bakura.." Yugi grinned.

Marik nodded and sat on the kitchen counter, "I wonder what happened to Ryou...."

Yugi nodded aswell, "Yeah..."

Marik rubbed his forehead. "We should ask Bakura.."

Yami and Malik walked upstairs, "We're just gonna' check out my knives..." Malik smiled, Bakura nodded, "Ok.." he stared at the t.v, it was a programme about the ancient Egyptains, he smiled, "Ah..I love Egypt.."

Marik crept up to him, the millenium rod in his right hand.

He lept on Bakura, holding the dagger of the millenium rod to his throat.

"Alright tombrobber, what did you do to Ryou?"

"Ryou?! Oh my hikari... yeah... um... I... um... don't know?"

"That's not the truth." Marik smiled, pushing the dagger more into his neck, "Now then, you can tell us the truth and be blood free, or... you could get this dagger shoved through your bloody neck!!! So, which one is it to be?"

Bakura gulped, "Alright!!! I locked him in the torture room, but you shouldn't bother trying to get in there, it's locked with shadow powrs which neither of you two have!!!"

Marik smiled, "But you do Bakura...."

Bakura frowned, "NO WAY MALIK LOOK ALIKE!!!"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"

Yugi gulped, "M-Marik, please, no violence!!"

"HE CALLED ME A MALIK LOOK ALIKE!!!!!!!!!"

"But you do look like him!"

"That's what you think tombrobber!!!!"

Marik was about to stab Bakura when the other two yamis came downstairs, Malik grabbed Marik round the waist, "Now, now Marik, don't be so mean."

Marik thrashed around, "PUT ME DOWN!!!!!!"

Malik shook his head, "You have to calm down first."

Marik frowned, "Bastard..."

Malik smiled, "See! We didn't even have to use violence!!"

"Whatever. I'm gonna' go check on the dinner..."

Marik strode off, Yugi smiled, "Erm... I'm gonna' set the table!!!"

Yugi ran off and the three yamis sat down in front of the t.v.

"EGYPT!!!!!" Yami exclaimed, "The no:1 place to be brought up, if you're a pharaoh to be that is...."

Bakura shook his head, "Nah, the tombrobber's life was better, there's nothing more fun then stealing and killing."

Malik frowned, "I had to stay underground in Marik's home...."

Yami smiled, "Well ha ha on you then."

Ryou looked round the room, picking up different weapons. "I'm guessing that me, Marik and Yugi will be tortured with these weapons in the near future... however, Bakura can't do anything to me... not when I have his millenium item..."

He smiled and sat down in the black leather swivvel chair that Yami always sits in.

"Actually, this room ain't bad... it's got lots of cool weapons and stuff... Oh shit... now I'm sounding like the yamis... Oh great! I'm gonna' turn into a phsyco!"

Bakura smiled as Marik put some steak down infront of him, "I think I'm gonna' drool..." he said, his mouth wide open, Yami rolled his eyes, "You'll catch flies with a gob like that tombrobber."

"But that's a good thing pharaoh, because that means I can stuff more steak in my mouth at once!!!" Bakura grinned, Yami raised his eyebrows.

"That's just disgusting and impolite!!!!"

"Woah! Get a load of the posh pharaoh!!!" Malik laughed.

Yami crossed his arms, "There is nothing wrong with manners!!!!"

Bakura sighed, "Just shut up pharaoh!!! I wanna' eat!!!"

"Fine..." Yami sneered.

Marik and Yugi exchanged glances before turning to their own steaks.

"YUMMY!!!!!!I LOVE STEAKS!!!!!!" Bakura cheered before stuffing the whole steak in his mouth. Malik stared admiringly before doing the same.

Bakura grinned and turned to Yami, "Hey pharaoh! Do you like sea-food?"

Yami nodded, "Yes..."

"SEE FOOD!!!" Bakura opened his mouth, Malik laughed manicly slamming his hand on the table. Yami crinkled his nose, "You disgusting bastard!!!!! Where are your manners?!"

"Up my ass!!!!" Bakura laughed.

Yugi looked at Marik, "That's just disgusting!!!!"

Marik just sat there laughing loudly, Yugi frowned.

"MARIK!!!!!"

Marik continued to laugh, Yugi sighed, "You bunch of idiots!!!"

"Ooohhh!! Mini pharaoh's gettin' in a stress!!!" Malik sneered.

Yugi slammed his fists against the table, "I'M NOT IN A STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone stared at him, Yugi smiled sheepishly, "Heh, um...."

Bakura raised his eyebrows, "He's definatly the mini pharaoh..."

Malik nodded, "Yep, he's got the attitude alright.."

Yami smiled, "That's my hikari alright!!!"

Ryou listened to the conversation downstairs, "Woah... I didn't know Yugi could get in such a stress...." He looked at the knives in his hands, "Bizzarly...I have an urge for flames... as for world dominaton.... that doesn't seem a bad idea either... wow... no wonder I'm Bakura's hikari ...heh, a mini tombrobber... cool..." he took off his jumper, "Why the hell did I wear that in the first place..." he undid the fist two buttons on his shirt and untucked it from his trousers, "Heh, this is a much better look, I'd better keep Bakura's millenium ring under my shirt incase he knows it's gone missing.. I know!!!!" he picked up the other two millenium items and opened up a chest. "Now then... it looks like they won't be able to use their shadow powers no more... ah well.. does it look like I care?!" he put the other two items in the chest, "Then again, I'd better put Bakura's millenium ring in there too." He put the ring in and locked it, he smiled, "Heh,I'm so evil..."

Malik looked over at the clock, "Sorry Marik, but me, Yami and Bakura have to go.. Bye!"

Yugi and Marik watched the yamis go upstairs then cleared away the table,

"They've gone to get Ryou..." Marik stated, Yugi nodded in agreement.

"Yeah... good luck to him too..."

Marik sighed, "It's all up to him now... especialy after what he's done..."

Bakura unlocked the door, "Oh Ryou! I've come back!!!"

He grinned and opened the door, Malik and Yami gasped, Bakura had his mouth wide open. "Woah... um... what have you done to yourself Ryou? You look like... me!!"

Ryou smiled, "I'm fed up with wearing that jumper... I thought I needed a bit of change.."

Bakura grinned, "You look way cooler!! Why the hell didn't you wear stuff like that in the first place?!"

Ryou shrugged his shoulders and twirled a knife around his fingers, "Dunno'... must have been mad I guess..."

Bakura gave a thumbs up, "Now that's my hikari!!!"

Yami sighed, "But we must still keep you in here during tonight's torture, so we can make sure you don't run away.."

Ryou nodded, "Ok... I'll stay."

Yami frowned, "On one condition."

"What?" Ryou asked.

"You get out of my seat.." Yami said.

Ryou smiled, "Sorry pharaoh.." he got out of the seat, Yami sat down.

Malik raised his eyebrows, "Ryou has certainly got your attitude..."

Bakura rubbed his hands together, "You know Malik, maybe if we locked all the hikais in here, they'll all be on our side, then we can cause world domination!!!!"

Yami nodded, "Good idea, now let's go get today's victim..." They left the room...

Ryou laughed, "Oh my god... they actually fell for it!!!! Now they think I'm a looney like them!!! Heh, but I did kinda' flip before they came into the room... oh well I'll manage..." He opened the chest and took the ring back out, "I'll need to send one of them to the shadow realm, or... I could mind control them... then again... mind crushing them would be fun... oh what the heck! I'll use them all..." he took all the millenium items out and wrapped them in his jumper, except for Bakura's millenium ring, which he kept safely under his shirt...

Yugi and Marik sat on the armchairs infront of the lit fire, Yugi looked at Marik, "Please don't make me go check on the yamis Marik... They'll stretch me till my limbs are seperated from the rest of my body..."

Marik shook his head, "It's ok Yugi, I'll go this time... seeing as you're gonna' get hurt, and Ryou's not here... I might aswell save him whilst I'm at it..."

However, Marik didn't need to go upstairs, the three yamis came back downstairs and grabbed them both.

"Put me down Malik!!!!!!!!!" Marik demanded, kicking Malik in the stomach, Malik rolled his eyes. Bakura passed him a card, "Here, use this."

Malik raised his eyebrows, "Shadow spell?" Suddenly, a flash appeared and wrapped Yugi and Marik in chains.

Bakura grinned, "See? It's very usefull."

Yugi frowned, "Let me go!!!!"

Bakura laughed, "Bless, you're so tiny Yugi! I can carry you in one arm!!"

Yugi kicked about, "It's not my fault!!! I'm verticaly challenged!!!"

Yami sighed, "Stop stalling you two or we'll never get to the torture room!!"

Bakura and Malik nodded, "Yes sir."

They ran upstairs...

Ryou sighed, "This is getting really boring now... oh well... they're coming right now..."

He watched the yamis enter the room with Marik and Yugi chained up.

"Hi Ryou!" Bakura smiled, Marik and Yugi stared at him.

"What the fuck has happened to you Ryou?!" Marik spat.

Yugi frowned, "You look a little different... new hair style? Or new clothes? How abo-"

"SHUT UP!!!!!" Yami boomed, "You two are giving me a fuckin' headache!!!"

Malik smiled nervously, "Heh, s-shall we begin?"

Yami nodded, "Yes please."

Malik pulled out a large cork board, Bakura unchained Marik, "Looks like you'll be tortured tonight Marik..."

Marik frowned, "You bunch of assholes.."

Malik hooked him to the board, "You won't be calling us assholes later.."

He took out some knives and walked back a few paces, "Everyone sitting comfortably? Pharaoh?"

Yami nodded, "Yep, ok here."

Malik smiled, "Don't worry Yugi, Marik won't get all the fun! You can have a go in a minute!"

Yugi smiled, "Wow.. I'd LOVE a go!!"

Malik winked, "Good!"

Yugi gulped, "I was only joking....."

Bakura shook his head, "There is no such thing as jokes here..."

Yugi began to shake, "Oh dear...."

Malik began to get giddy, "I LOVE this torture!!!!!!"

Bakura sighed, "Then get on with it already!!!!!!"

Malik rolled his eyes, "Patience people! I'm just gettin' ready!"

Yami frowned, "Then hurry up!!!!"

Malik grinned, "Alright alright! I'm starting!!!"

Marik sighed, "What the hell are you going to do with those knives?!"

Malik smiled, "I don't wanna' spoil the suprise!!!"

Marik rolled his eyes, "Baka..."

Malik frowned, "Alright here goes!!!"

He threw a knife at the board.

"Holy shit Malik!!!! Are you tryin' to kill me or something?!"

Malik paused, "Umm... I don't know..."

"What do you mean 'you don't know'?!"

"Like I said, 'I don't know'."

Malik threw three more knives, one 'accidently' hit Marik's arm.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! YOU BAKA MALIK!!!!!!"

Malik frowned, "I don't like people calling me that!!!"

Malik threw knife after knife, and the yamis were certainly enjoying it, Bakura turned to Ryou, "What do you think about being one of us?"

Ryou nodded, "Sounds good.."

_Pretty bad more like... if only I could stop Malik somehow, without the other two getting me..._

Marik frowned, "Ryou!!!! How can you let him do this to me?! We're supposed to be friends remember?!"

Ryou looked at him, then looked down at the floor. Marik frowned and tried to break free." Ryou stop being such a bastard and help me!!!!!! RYOU!!!!!"

Yami glared at Marik, "SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!"

Malik smiled, "I've had enough of you, it's Yugi's turn now..."

Yugi tried to wriggle away, "Oh no you don't!" Bakura scooped up Yugi and helped Malik chain Yugi to the board.

Marik had been chained back up again and was sittng next to Ryou.

/Ryou stop your stupid act!/

/Say something!!/

/Ryou. Stop being so stupid and help Yugi! He was already tortured last night!!!!/

/So was I .../

/So?! He was tortured more than you!!!/

/That's because I was already tall, I didn't feel as much pain.../

/Yeah but Yugi is short and he was in agony after that!!!!/

/Oh as if I wasn't!!!/

/Well Yugi suffered more!!/

/He always does../

/Yeah. So stop being an asshole like the yamis and save Yugi!!!!!/

/I'm not like them../

/Yes you are!!! So stop being so stupid!!!!!/

/Don't shout../

/WHY SHOULDN'T I SHOUT?! AT LEAST YOU CAN HEAR ME WHEN I SHOUT!!!/

/I can hear you when you don't shout../

/Then save Yugi already!!!!!/

/I will./

/Oh Ra finally.../

/There's something you might want to see.../

Marik watched Ryou as he took out the millenium puzzle and rod, then the millenium ring.

/The three yamis left them in here when I got locked in by Bakura../

/Wow, they're stupid.../

Yugi closed his eyes, _I hope one of those knives don't stab me like they did to Marik... Oh god... why the hell won't Ryou help us?!_

Yami smiled, "So, are you looking forward to this aibou?"

Yugi rolled his eyes, "Um.... let me think about that for a moment.... uh.. NO!!!!!"

"Great to see your enthusiasim!" Malik cheered.

Yugi gulped, "Ok.... here goes....."

Malik started throwing kniives at Yugi, all of them missed, some of them nearly got him, Malik only had 3 knives left..

He threw one and....

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

The knife caught Yugi in the leg, he winced in pain, "RYOU!!! STOP THEM!!!!"

Malik shook his head, "Ryou wouldn't help you lot even if you were bleeding all over...."

"Oh wouldn't I?" The three yamis turned to him.

Ryou grinned, "I wouldn't bother hurting me if I were you.... there' something I have of yours..."

Ryou took out all three millenium items, "So..... you'd bettter release Marik and Yugi or else.."

"Or else what?!" Bakura frowned, Ryou laughed.

"Or else this..." a golden eye appeared on Ryou's forehead, sending Bakura to the shadow realm.

Yami gasped, "You evil little..."

Malik lept at him, "Give me my rod!!!!!!"

Ryou dodged out of the way, "No. Not untill you free Marik and Yugi!"

Malik turned to Yami, Yami nodded, "Free them Malik."

"Aw fuck..." he groaned, he unchained Yugi and Marik and shoved them outside.

Ryou grew nervous, "Um... what about me?!"

Malik raised his eyebrows, "What about you?"

"Well... can't I go too?"

"No."

"But why not?!"

"Because you sent Bakura to the shadow realm!!! and plus you said 'free Marik and Yugi', I didn't hear your name being mentioned."

"Oh yeah..."

"Now give me my rod...."

Ryou nodded and gave back their millenium items.

Malik grinned, "Now then...let's get to work!!!"

Ryou gulped "Oh dear..."

There was a flash and Bakura came back from the shadow realm.

"Hello Ryou... or should I say.. backstabber?"

Yami nodded, "Clearly you decided to trick us then?"

Ryou nodded, "Yeah... it did work a little bit...."

Malik smiled, "Time for some more torturing I think..."

Ryou gasped, "Please! Don't torture me! I'm sorry!!!"

Yami smiled, "Nope. I think you deserve it."

Malik chained Ryou to the board, "Ah... I love this job....."

/Marik! We can't just sit here and let them torture Ryou!!!/

/Maybe he deserves it.../

/No he doesn't!!!/

/Yugi. Me and him were using mind link during your torture, he's being an asshole.../

/But he saved us!!!/

/So?!/

/Can't you have at least been grateful he DID eventually decide to save us?!/

/He can suffer.../

/MARIK!!!!!!!!!/

/Ouch... please don't shout.../

/THEN HELP ME SAVE RYOU!!!!!!!!/

/Are you really gonna' save him Yug'?/

/Yes./

/WHY?!/

/'Cos Ryou's my friend, and he' yours too, so you have no reason to not rescue him!/

/Um... how about... ME AND YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SLIT OPEN BY KNIVES?!/

/That doesn't bother me../

/Yeah well you're just... strange.../

/I'm the pharaoh's hikari!!!/

/I guessed that./

/Stop being an asshole and help me save Ryou!!!!/

/I'm not an asshole!!/

/Silence! The mini pharaoh has spoken./

/Damn you.../

/I thought I said silence.../

/Now then, you can either sit here and be bored, or do some of that kick-butt action you do on the yamis../

/KICK-BUTT ACTION!!!!!/

/I knew you'd say that...../

Marik grinned, "I know how to get in....." He took out his rod and sliced the door, before kicking a hole in it.

Yugi smiled, "Ha ha! Got you now yamis!!!!"

Bakura grinned, "Shame you were too late to watch the torture, Ryou passed out, must have been the large amount of blood loss or something."

Marik and Yugi turned to Ryou and gasped, Malik smiled,"It seems that the knive throwing didn't cause much damage, so, seeing as Ryou did trick us, I decided to just get my rod and slice him with it.... and it didn't turn out quite bad if I say so myself..."

Yami nodded, "I think it was the best torture so far!"

Malik unchained Ryou, "Here you might wanna' look after him, we don't care."

Marik took Ryou and Yugi took his jumper, Marik and Yugi left the room...

/I can't believe they did that to Ryou.../

/Neither can I, but, you're probably grateful that I forced you to help save him?/

/Yeah... I suppose I did kinda' over-react with calling him a bastard and everything.../

/True, but it's not as if Ryou could've help us infront of the yamis./

/I suppose../

Marik and Yugi walked into Yugi's room and layed Ryou on the bed.

"Wonder when he'll wake up..." Yugi said, Marik walked around the room,

"Maybe we could talk to him using our mind link!" he suggested.

Yugi nodded, "Go on then, you'd better tell Ryou you're sorry for calling him a bastard n' that.."

"Ok..."

/Ryou!/

/Can you hear me?/

/hmm../

/Say something!/

/Ouch?/

/I supppose that's a word... anyway, um... I'm sorry for calling you a bastard and all the other stuff.../

/It's ok. I did kinda' be a bit of a bastard.../

/So.... can you talk properly now? Or do you still need the mind link?/

/The mind link might save me some breath.../

/Ok, mind link it is!/

/Did Yugi call you Malik earlier?/

/Yeah... Why?/

/Oh, it was just that you did make a bit of noise.../

/Was I really that loud?!/

/Yes./

/Heh, though you two know how much I hate being called Malik, whether it's an accident or not./

/So. Can I talk to Yugi now?/

/Yeah sure... hang on, I'm just gonna' get him./

/YUGI!!!!/

/Flipppin' hell Marik!!! You don't have to shout my name!!!/

/Sorry, but Ryou wants to speak to you./

/Ok./

/Ryou?/

/Hi Yugi!/

/So... um... are you feeling a bit better now?/

/Yeah./

/Did Malik really keep slicing you with his milllenium rod?!/

/Yep./

/Ouch... that must have hurt.../

/Yeah, though according to the yamis, I did deserve it./

/That's just them.../

/Bye the way, thanks for saving me, both you and Marik./

/How did you know we saved you?!/

/Well, it's kinda' obvious don't you think? The yamis would've chucked you out by now./

/So.... um.... now what shall we do?/

/Well I'd like to go in my own room and sleep!/

/Same here./

/Yugi. You are in your room./

/How do you know that?!/

/Because when Marik was carrying me I could see a little map in my head of where we were going./

/Cool..../

/Right then, I think I'd bettter wake up now./

Ryou opened his eyes and sat up, "Hi guys!!!"

Yugi and Marik smiled.

"Hi Ryou!!!!!!!!" Yugi cheered.

Marik nodded, "So, you've finally woken up!"

Ryou grinned, "Yeah, now then I'm off to my room."

He stood up then fell back on the bed, "Ow!!!!!"

Marik smiled, "Here, I'll help you go to your room."

Ryou nodded and got up, (with a little more care this time) Marik put his arm round Ryou's waist. Yugi popped his head round the door, "Night guys!!"

Ryou and Marik turned round, "Night!"

Marik helped Ryou to his room and then walked off to his own.

It was then, that the yamis all went into Yami's room...

(End chapter)

Mai: Ooooh... spooky endin'... well, vote for who you want the flames to be used on in a review, then again, I haven't got any flames yet!!!!

Bakura: Review or it's christmas in the shadow realm for you.

Yugi: FLAME SETO!!!!!!!

Mai: Yes, we need to burn Seto. Ok, as Bakura said, REVIEW and I'll see ya' next time in 'Yamis of Torture'!!!


	5. Chapter Five: HamHam hikaris

**Yamis of Torture.**

Mai: Heya peeps!!! I'm in a great mood today and I guarantee you will be too after reading this chapter, but now for some lil' thank yous...

Bakura: And the tombrobber says hello.

Mai: Hi 'kura!!!

Bakura: Shall we thank now?

Mai: Ok!!!!!

**Dark Magicain Girl/Hikaru.- **I think Ryou was actually pretty cool aswell, but this is what I do with stories, I keep to part of the character's personality, then I add bits of my own, because I think it's rather unfair making Ryou a whimp, because surely, if he puts up with such a manical yami, he has to be strong in some sense? I'm glad you liked it so much aswell. I promise you, and others, that in my story, Ryou won't be weak. You'll see in further chapters.

Yugi: HELLO EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!

Mai: YUGI!!!!!!! THIS IS **MY** STORY!!!!!!!

Yugi: Why aren't you thanking people?

Mai: I was in the middle of it till **someone** interrupted.

Yugi: Bakura!!!!!!! Stop interruptin' my sis'!!!

Mai: I MEANT **YOU** BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Eye-of-Misery- **I don't remember tricking you... Oh well, you can review and get a free trip to the shadow realm if you want. As a christmas pressie? I'll arrange something with Bakura about that, if not christmas day (2morrow!!!!) maybe you can have it as a birthday treat. I liked my nicknames for the hikaris, mini-pharaoh... it suits Yugi well. He's short, stressy, and has tri-coloured hair. One is sensing a familiarity with a certain yami...

About the cooking thing... it kinda' gets worse later on...

**autumnburn- **I don't mind that you called it weird, but if you ever meet me, the chapter will seem normal. Because my mind is a lil' mad... and VERY sick as my friends would know. But, you said you liked it anyway, so, thankies!!!

**mellinde- **Hehe... soz for scaring you, maybe it's my outstanding talent... or the chapter. For whatever reason it was, I'm very sorry and hope you come out from under your bed to read this next chapter. It's more of a humorous torture this time. I have a vast imagination, so, be sure to calm yours down sometime soon.

**PeaceSeeker- **I don't think it's just your computer, ours does it aswell, so maybe you'll wanna' check on your computer for the next chappy early on christmas mornin', or later on tonight? I can tell you really like my story, and seeing as we've become friends, I wanna' check out your own stories, unles, you're not signed in yet? It's a shame if you aren't, because it would be interesting to read some of your own. Can't you at least tell me how old you are in a review? You know I'm 13, if you've read our profile. I won't go into all detailed stuff, name etc, because I'm not really wanting to tell mine, so why should I make you? Anyway, thanks for reviewing, and have a nice christmas.

Mai: And that's all of them for now, but keep reviewin' people!!!!!

Bakura: Mai does'nt own Yu-Gi-Oh- WAIT. Evil harpie woman doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Kazu-

Yugi: I OWN YAMI!!!!!!!

Bakura: Who in their right mind would want to own a stressy midget?!

Mai: A midget who also gets stressy.

Yugi: Yami give me treats, and plays out a different version of the bunny story to me!!!

Mai: I REALLY didn't want to know that...

Yugi: I get to join in t-

Bakura: Shadow realm then?

Yugi: NO!!!!!!!! MEANIES!!!!!! THE LOT OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Mai: Ok... I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Kazuki Takahashi does. I own the harpie family though.

Bakura: You evil harpie woman...

Mai: I'M NOT AN EVI-

Yugi: Well then, the authoress is a lil' busy at the mo, so, I get the honours of introducing her own story.

This is Pugi Moto, lover of Yami Moto, (and Atem) reporting for you out there-

Mai: CLEAR OFF!!!!!!!

Yugi: Meep!

Mai: Ahem, just read and review. I have a tombrobber to catch.

**Chapter Five:Ham-Ham hikaris.**

The next day the three hikaris were sitting downstairs in their armchairs.

"My arm hurts..." Marik groaned, inspecting the gash on his left arm.

"Guys, I don't think I'm gonna' be walking much since they stretched my legs and the slit one open with a knife." Yugi sighed.

Ryou laughed, "Well, it looks like you've returned to normal height Yugi."

"Yeah. Anyway, how you feelin'?" Yugi replied.

"Ok..." Ryou said.

"Let's watch t.v!" Yugi suggested, Ryou and Marik nodded.

Yugi turned on the t.v and smiled, "The Ham-Hams!!!!!!!"

Ryou claped his hands, "Aren't they so adorable?"

Marik frowned, "They are bloody not adorable if your yami has a whole plushie collection of them and trys to kill you with them!!!!!"

"Oh well, let's watch them! Harmony's about to teach them 'hamcheer'!" Yugi and Ryou stared in awe at the screen.

Then, Bakura and Malik walked downstairs, Malik ran up to the t.v, "HAM-HAMS!!!!!!!!!"

Marik frowned, "Malik, hamtaro willl lose his head if you try to make him kill me again."

Malik smiled, "But the ham-hams love you Marik! But they'll hate you if you behead Hamtaro!!"

"I hate them anyway."

"MARIK!!!! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?! You'll make the ham-hams cry!!!!"

"They aren't real."

"Not if I mind control them..."

"You wouldn't dare..."

"Oh yes I would Marik!!!"

Yugi smiled, "Ahhh!!!! Jingle's playing the theme tune on his guitar!!!!"

"I'm gonna' stick that guitar up that Jingle's bloody-"

"Marik!!! Don't speak such violence infront of the ham-hams!!!!!"

"MALIK!!!!!! THE HAM-HAMS DO NOT EXIST!!!!!!"

"That's what you think...."

Bakura watched the screen, "This is just weird, the ham-hams mostly speak english yet they decide to say these weird words like 'hamha', I mean, what's the point in that?!"

"It's just another language that they speak in." Ryou stated.

Malik grinnned, "Hey Bakura! You and Ryou look like that white ham-ham with bunches!"

Bakura frowned, "I'm not a girl hamster!!!"

"That's Bijou!" Ryou said, "She fancies Hamtaro."

Yugi smiled, "Hamtaro's my favourite!!!"

Malik shook his head, "Spat rules!!!!"

Bakura raised his eyebrows, "Who's Spat?!"

Malik pointed to the screen, "The hamster in the devil costume!!!"

Bakura grinned, "Now that's my kind of ham-ham!!"

/Say Malik... I think I have an idea for a day-time torture.../

/What is it?/

/How about we turn the hikaris into ham-hams? Seeing as their human bodies are too weak, let them rest and then put them in a ham-hams body!!!/

/Cool idea! Let's go operation ham-ham hikaris!!!/

Malik and Bakura took out their millenium items. The eye of Ra glowing on their foreheads. "Hikaris, we've decided on a torture for you, we thought you need a rest from your human bodies for a while...."

Bakura and Malik held out a hand, there was a flash, and the hikaris fell on the floor, their souls then went into ham-hams...

Bakura and Malik grinned, "Let's go get Yami..."

Yugi opened his eyes, "I wonder what the yamis meant by 'giving us a break from our human bodies'...." he sat up, "I feel shorter than normal..." he looked around the room and gasped, "My human body!!!!"

Yugi stared at his reflection in the millenium puzzle, "T-this can't be happening!!! I'm Hamtaro!!!"

He turned round, "So Ryou and Marik must have been turned into ham-hams too.."

Marik woke up and looked at his body... he then noticed a guitar on his back, "Oh Ra... I'm that Jingle guy!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M A GODAMN HAM-HAM!!!!!!!"

Ryou woke up beside him, "What's all the fuss Marik WOAH!!! They turned you into Jingle!!! Yugi's Hamtaro!!!"

Marik and Yugi began to snigger, Ryou frowned, "What are you guys laughing about?!"

Yugi stopped laughing, "The yamis turned you into Bijou!!!!"

Ryou looked into the millenium puzzle and screamed, "BAKURA IS GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!"

Marik sighed, "Well, it looks like they'll be back soon, so we'd better just sit here and wait.... how about I sing a song?"

Yugi nodded, "YAY!!!"

Marik frowned, "I was being sarcastic... so let's not sit here and wait for them, instead, I'd rather run away, what do you say to that?"

Ryou nodded, "It would be far safer to leave then stay here, even if we are hamsters now."

Yugi smiled, "Let's go!"

Marik sighed, "But how are we gonna' leave the house?"

"There's a cat flap in the kitchen!!!" Ryou exclaimed.

Yugi smiled, "Ok, but one thing first, we'd better keep the noise down, the yamis might hear us and then torture us!!"

So the three hikaris, or ham-hams, set off to the kitchen...

Bakura and Malik smiled, "And so, that's when we came up with a new torture..."

Yami nodded, "And this is?"

Malik grinned, "We turned the hikaris into ham-hams!!!"

"Ok..."

Bakura gulped, "Can ham-hams move fast?"

Malik nodded, "Yes, why?"

Bakura grinned, "Um... we've just left the ham-ham hikaris unattended downstairs... so they could run away if we're not careful."

Yami got up, "Let's get them before they do!!"

Bakura and Malik nodded and ran downstairs with Yami.

Ryou, Yugi and Marik ran across the room, Marik frowned, "I wish I didn't have a guitar.."

Yugi sighed, "Stop fussing and keep movin'! The sooner we leave this house the better!!"

Ryou nodded, "Yeah Marik! We've gotta' keep going or we'll never be free!"

"Where are they?!"

The three hikaris froze.

"They're around here somewhere....."

They watched the three yamis walk round the room, Bakura grinned.

"Come on out little ham-ham hikaris, or we'll have to bring a cat in the house to find you!"

Yugi gulped, "Let's go!!" he whispered. They ran into the kitchen.

"We're almost there!" Ryou cried.

They came to a hault at the cat flap, Yugi tried to open it, then fell on the floor.

"It's no use, I can't open it!" he paniked, "If only we had our millenium items to help us!!!"

There was a flash and each hikari got their millenium item (by coincidence).

Marik smiled, "Ah, my blessed rod... now then... let's slice this cat flap open!!!"

Ryou and Yugi stood back as Marik did his handywork, he grinned at the chopped up plastic mess that was the cat flap, "See? Now all we have to do is-"

"There you are!!!"

The three hikaris turned round, "BAKURA!!!!!"

Bakura grinned, "Yes, now come here and I'll give you a hamster treat!"

Malik and Yami came in, Bakura frowned, "Come here you bloody ham-hams!!!"

The hikaris ran through the cat flap, the yamis threw open the door and ran after them.

The hikaris went into a nearby hedge.

Marik grinnned, "Ra look at those yamis, such dumbasses.."

Yugi nodded, "Yeah...."

Ryou frowned, "Keep it down guys! Or they'll find us!!!"

"Yeah.... but you have to admit, the yamis are kinda' stupid..." Marik laughed.

Yami squinted his eyes, "I can't see them anywhere..."

Bakura smiled "Don't worry Yami! I'll find them!!" he jumped onto the floor and started to do an army crawl.

Yami slapped a hand to his forehead, "Bakura you are such an idiot sometimes..."

Malik shook his head, "He's an idiot ALL the time."

Bakura smiled, "Yeah well no one's perfect, even the pharaoh's had his moments...."

Yami blushed, "Tombrobber!! I told you not to say anything about 'that'!!!"

Malik grinned, "Look's like someone has a secrect!! Come on pharaoh, tell us what it is..."

Yami sighed, "Alright, it all began when I got my very first girlfriend....."

Flashback

"Hey Yami, I'm just gonna' have a wash ok?" Yami's girlfriend said.

"Ok, see you in the same room as before!" The young pharaoh replied.

"Ooohhh... the pharaoh's got a girlfriend!!"

Yami swivelled round to see a white haired figure behind a pillar, "Tombrobber...."

"So, what are you gonna' do in the 'same room as before'?" the tombrobber asked.

Yami blushed, "That is none of your business Bakura!!"

Bakura grinned, "Oh isn't it now? Well.." he walked away, "We'll see about that....."

Yami shook his head, "Baka...."

Half an hour later

Yami walked around the very detailed stone corridors till he came to a room, he smiled then entered, meanwhile.. a certain tombrobber was watching his every move...

Yami smiled at the figure in the bed, he layed down on the bed and wrapped his arms around the persons waist, they lifted their head and screamed. Yami gasped and jumped off the bed, "Teana! I'm so sorry! I thought you were my girlfriend!!!"

Teana frowned, "I'm your sister for Ra's sake!!!"

Yami ran out of the room and down the corridor, he stopped and layed against a wall.

"Smart move pharaoh..."

Yami turned round and grabbed Bakura, "You didn't see anything, got that?"

Bakura nodded and walked away, "Don't worry pharaoh, your secret's safe with me..."

Bakura grinned, "Only joking.... look's like a good thing to blackmail him with..."

End flashback

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Malik laughed, Bakura sighed happily.

"I just love bringing that back up... ahh... such a pleasant memory...."

Yami frowned, "Anyway, let's search for the hikaris."

"Hamkaris!" Malik exclaimed.

Yami rolled his eyes, "Wonderful Malik, now, let's just find them.."

Bakura crawled about till he came to a hedge.

"Why hello little hikaris!!!"

He took out a plastic bag and scooped the hikaris into it, he grinned,

"See? I'm not so stupid after all! I caught them!!!"

"That's what you think!!!" Bakura looked at the bag, Marik, or Jingle, sliced the bag with the millenium rod, the hikaris hopped out and through the fence.

"Oh no you don't!!!!!!" Bakura frowned, he jumped over the fence, followed by Malik and Yami.

The hikaris ran away into the town, the yamis tried to follow them, but at their old age, soon ran out of energy.

It was then that T'ea, Tristan, Joey and Serenity were walking around, and T'ea and Serenity just happened to see the ham-ham hikaris..

"Aww! They're so cute!!!" Serenity exclaimed, picking up Ryou and Yugi, (though she didn't know who they were of course), T'ea picked up Marik, "Yeah, this one has a guitar!"

Suddenly, the yamis walked down the street, "There they are!!!" Bakura said, they ran over to T'ea and co.

Bakura grinned, "Thank you for finding our hamsters!!"

Yami nodded, "We are very grateful!"

Malik smiled, "Um.. like they just said!"

Joey frowned, "Haven't you got a cage for them?"

Bakura gulped, "No....."

T'ea smiled, "Go to the pet shop over there and buy one."

Malik nodded, "Will do."

The yamis ran off to the pet shop.

Tristan frowned, "I wonder how those hamsters got mini golden items in the first place...."

Bakura walked around the pet shop, "So Ryou, which cage would you like?"

Ryou frowned, "Don't put me in a cage!!!!!"

Bakura smiled, "Ah, a nice blue one, how about some hamster food whilst we're at it?"

"Whatever." Ryou spat.

Bakura walked over to the food section and picked up a random bag of food.

"That's dog food you idiot!!!!" Ryou sighed, Bakura frowned,

"I'll just feed you scraps from my plate then."

"Ok!"Ryou smiled. "Though seeing how much you eat, I'll be anorexic before you know it..."

Bakura held the cage and walked out of the shop, Ryou gasped.

"Bakura! Pay for that cage!!"

"Paying is for bakas."

"No. It's for people who are sensible."

"Then that counts me out doesn't it?"

"Your in deep shit now Bakura...."

"Then I'll transform you back to normal and say you did it!"

"That's not fair! You were the one who did it!!"

"Life's not fair Ryou."

"Go pay for that cage!!!"

"No."

"Why not?!"

"Because I'm a Ra damned tombrobber! Not a bloody british hamster!!!!!"

People in the town stared at Bakura shouting at this hamster.

A woman and her son stood there,

"Mommy, why is that man shouting at the hamsty?"

"Um.... I don't know son... l-let's get going now...."

Bakura frowned, "You are so annoying!!! Why I'd send you to the shadow realm and back if all these mortals weren't watching!!!!!"

Ryou smiled, "They can't here me speaking though... 'cos I'm just a wittle hamster and you're a dumbass tombrobber!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!!!!" Bakura screamed, which unfortunatly drew the whole town's attention on him.

"That kid's a pshyco!!" One person exclaimed.

"The police'll be after him.... cruelty to animals that is." Another person said.

Bakura looked around him, "Um... Ryou... what's the 'police'?"

Ryou smiled, "There these 'mortals', as you call normal people like myself, that take you away in a vehcile...."

"VVVVVVVVeeeeiiiihhhhhhhhcccccccclllllllllleeeeee?!"

"Vehcile you idiot, anyway, they then lock you up for a numerous amount of years..."

"Ryou, promise me one thing....."

"What?"

"If I go to jail, can you come with me?"

"NO!! I'm not gonna' spend my time in a dirty, cramped cell... not when I have a full life ahead of me!!!"

"Aww.... p-please?"

"I'd love to Bakura, honest, it's just that, I don't have the time to right now..."

"Some other time then?"

"NO!!!!!"

"Hey Yami.... Bakura's causing a bit of trouble out there.... everyone's staring at him..."

"Where? Oh Ra!!! What the hell is he doing?!"

"Dunno' let's go check on him!"

Yami and Malik were about to leave the shop when the attendant came out, "I hope you boys are planning to pay for those!!"

Yami walked up to her and took his puzzle off, "Oh but we did..."

He began to swing the puzzle to and fro, "Look into my puzzle..... we paid for these cages.... you saw us pay for them.... now then..... what did we just do?"

The attendant watched the puzzle, "You..... paid.... for... the.... cages....."

Bakura and Ryou walked back in the shop, Yugi bit Yami's hand, "Leave her alone!!" Yugi frowned, "You're missusing the puzzle!!!"

Malik started laughing, "She has a name!!! It's on a tag too!!!"

"Amy...." Yami frowned, "That's a weird name...."

Ryou shook his head, "It means 'beloved' in France, and I angree with her on this one, you should've pa-"

"Well the french are bakas anyway." Bakura growled.

Yami sighed, "Let's get going then...."

Malik sulked, "Can't we take her home? She's not bad... for a mortal..."

Bakura nodded, "Suppose we could make her a slave or somethin'...."

"Sorry boys, however nice she is, we can't take her home." Yami said, walking out of the shop, Bakura shrugged his shoulders and left the shop aswell, Malik sighed, "I'm gonna' miss that attendant..."

Marik shook his head, "Let's just get going."

Malik nodded and followed the other two...

Back at home, the three yamis were sitting in the main room with their caged hikaris.

"Come on Marik, run! Spin, do something?!?!?!" Malik demanded.

His alter-ego looked up at him tiredly, "But I'm too tired to move...."

Malik opened the cage and lifted up his paw, it drooped back down as soon as he let go of it, he sighed, "You're lazy Mawik."

Marik frowned at him and took out his mini millenium rod, "You would not be saying that if I was in my normal body..."

"Actually, Mawik, I would, because I'm your yami and I have a millenium item too, so big whoop!!!" Malik sneered, taking out his own millenium item.

"Ryou.... can you do anything?" Bakura asked, "I'm bored..."

Ryou shook his head, "No. You see I used to be a human so I'm not used to running on a wheel like a hamster you idiot!!!"

The three yamis grinned to each other,

"A wheel you say? Thanks Ryou! You've given us an idea! You're such a nice hik- well, um...hamster."

"Oh dear...." Ryou gulped, "Um.... well... only red haired hamsters can go on hamster wheels you see, otherwise any other hamster that goes on one dies."

"Well, you can test the wheel first then, go on! Onto the wheel!" Bakura pushed Ryou onto the wheel, who sat there, "What do I do now Bakura? I'm on the wheel."

Bakura began to think, "Um..... well.... you did say something about running on it..."

Ryou stared at him wide-eyed, "Did I say that?! Well, I must have meant that for something else!!"

Yami shook his head, "I heard perfectly well what you said Ryou, now start runnin'!!!"

Ryou made a little 'eep' and started to run.

Yugi and Marik watched him through their cages, they walked up to each other at the bars of their cages.

/Poor Ryou... that's gonna' hurt in a few minutes time.../

/Well just be glad it's him and not us Yugi!/

/That's a nice thing to say about your dear friend!/

/Sorry your highness, I shall now mope in shame!/

/That's not what I meant Marik!! Stop playing around when a friend needs our help!/

/But how can we help him now?! He's on a Ra damned hamster wheel!/

/You could offer to go on the wheel in his stead?/

/I'm not going to offer to sweat to my bloody death just to help my friend!!!!/

/You obviously never had friends back in Egypt did you?/

/No./

/I might have known.../

/But now I have you and Ryou as my friend's right?/

/Yeah, now go help Ryou!!!!/

/Damn you mini pharaoh!!!/

/Please help him!/

/No./

/Fine! Sit and watch your friend die of exhaustion! But the memories will only come to haunt you! People will point to you in the street and say: "There's that baka, Marik, who didn't help his friend when he-/

/ALRIGHT!!!! I'll offer to go on the Ra damned wheel!!/

/I knew you'd say that../

Marik walked up to the bars of his cage near the yamis, "Hey! Can I go on the wheel now? I wanna' run!!!!"

Malik raised his eyebrows, "Really?!"

Marik nodded, "Of course! It's about time I did some exercise!"

Yami frowned, "Ok, Ryou, you can stop running."

"Um...." Bakura pointed to the cage, "I think he already has...."

Bakura poked Ryou in the back, "Come on Ryou, get off the wheel, it's Marik's turn."

Ryou just layed there, "Too..... tired..... can't.... move...."

Bakura frowned, "Lazy baka!" he picked Ryou up by his ears and put him on his lap, "Actually, you're quite soft little Ryou." he began to stroke him.

Ryou eyes grew wide in suprise, "Um Bakura, why are you stroking me?"

"Because you're so cuddly and soft and I wish you could stay as a hamster forever!!" Bakura smiled.

"Really?" Ryou said, the sense of sarcasim in his voice, "Well I don't like being a hamster, so the sooner I'm in my human body, the better!"

Bakura looked down at him, "You can't really mean that, surely you like being a hamster a little bit?"

"No." he glared up at Bakura.

Bakura sighed and continued to stroke Ryou's soft, white fur, "Well, that's just your opinion... where as I, in the other hand, think differently to that of which you have opposed to."

"Since when did you learn to say words of such high status?" Ryou questioned his yami.

Bakura smiled and let out a laugh, "Since I heard you say stuff like that!"

Ryou nodded, then looked back at his cage where Marik was being put... or shoved,onto the wheel.

_Why in Ra's sake did I actually offer to do this?! Oh yeah... because a friend's life was at stake... I just hope that Yugi comes to save me when I end up like Ryou did..._

"Um.... I'm on the wheel... so I'm supposing you want me to run like Ryou did, yeah?"

Marik asked, looking at the yamis. Malik nodded, "Yep, now stop yackin' and start runnin'!"

"Yes, oh royal one who is allowed to command me whenever he chooses!!!" Marik sneered, before starting to run. After a little while, Malik took out the dagger from his millenium rod.

"Run faster baka!!!!!" Malik roared, causing Marik to jump up in shock.

"Y-Yes sir!!" Stammered the small hamster, picking up a faster pace.

Yugi watched his friend solemnly, then turned to Ryou, who was peacefully resting on Bakura's lap.

_It won't be long till Marik soon wears out of energy... and then I'll have to go on the wheel... If only we hadn't watched 'Hamtaro' we wouldn't be in this situation!!!! However, we did watch it, so now all we can do is wish that this won't last much longer..._

Marik ran as fast as his little feet could take him, he began to wheeze, "Please! I beg of you! Don't make me run any longer, my legs can't go on!!!!"

His yami looked at the others, then nodded, "You may stop running."

Marik smiled gratefully then climbed off of the wheel before plopping on the soft shreddings.

Malik shook his head, "Come and sit over here." he carefully picked Marik up and cradled him in his arms, "Bakura, you're right, they are cuddly!"

Marik snuggled into his ego's arms, "You're cuddly too Malik!!!"

Yami grinned towards his hikari, "Looks like it's your turn now aibou." he placed a hand on Yugi, who, at his touch, darted into the corner, quivering.

"Come on now Yugi, the other two have gone on it, and so must you, now, come forward."

Yugi dug himself under the shreddings, "No!"

Yami let out a sigh, "Please Yugi, I don't want to have to use violence..."

Yugi popped his head out from the pile of shreddings, "Ok..." he slowly climbed out from the shreddings and crawled over to Yami's hand.

Yami lifted Yugi up and put him in the other cage, "Onto the wheel." Yami ordered, Yugi nodded and slowly paced up to the wheel, his nerves rapidly building up each step of the way, he then paused.

_Here goes nothing..._

He climbed onto the wheel, "May I come off when I get tired?" he asked, Yami looked down at him, "You may stop. But only when I think you have had enough, now, hurry, the sooner you have ran the wheel, the sooner it will be over, you will return to your normal bodies, and we yamis can get some rest."

"Yeah 'cos the pharaoh's gettin' a bit old and cranky lately, so he needs his early bedtime and mug of warm milk." Bakura sneered, Yami glared daggers at him,

"You're saying I'M cranky?! Who's the one who storms around the place when he doesn't get his way?!"

Bakura held up his chin, "I do not regret those times in which I have been cranky, but at least I can admit my sins!!!"

"I DO admit my sins!!!!" Yami gasped, "So I demand you take back those insults and shove them up where not even Ra can see!!!"

"Oh.... pharaoh hasn't any sins?! Well, I do recall that certain incident between the mix up between your girlfriend and your own sister, which is actually insest, however, you didn't 'do' anything with her, so you were lucky then!! But! I bet Ra is looking down at you in shame!!! Shame that a pharaoh he thought he could trust was about to go against his own country by-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH TOMBROBBER!!! Oh Ra I wish I'd killed you years ago..."

"And I wish I'd killed you too Pharaoh!!"

"Oh quit whining the pair of you!!!" Malik frowned, ruffling Marik's fur.

Meanwhile... a certain person was running his life away on a hamster wheel...

"YAMI!!!!! Please can I come off now?!" The young boy, or now hamster, piped up.

The pharaoh, oblivious that Yugi had already started running, rushed over to the hamster, "Yes you certainly can Yugi!! Woah.... aren't you kinda' going a bit too fast?!"

Yugi shook his head in agreement, "Y-Yami! I can't stop the wheel!!!AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! IT'S GOING TOO FAST!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP MMMMMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone turned their attention to the hamster clinging on for his dear life on the rapidly spinning hamster wheel.

Bakura began howling with laughter, as did Malik, Yami held his hands up in panik, "Uh.. don't worry Yugi! I'll stop the wheel somehow...."

"THEN HURRY UP ALREADY!!!!!!!" Yugi shrieked.

Yami, not being the brightest thing, stuck a finger on the wheel, suprisingly, it stopped. Unfortunatly, Yugi didn't, for he was then flung through the air, landing in a heap within Yami's hair.

Everyone stared wide eyed at the scene which had just taken place, Yami looked up, there was a rustling noise and Yugi popped out from a mass of black hair, "Hi everybody!!"

Yami frowned, "Yugi, come down from my hair!!!"

Yugi, taking advantage of what Yami had just told him, held onto one of Yami's bangs and slid down untill he met with Yami's eyes.

"Hi Yami!!"

"I thought I told you to come down from my hair?!"

"Yes, you did. And I have done exactly as you wanted, 'to come down from your hair' that's what you told me!"

"Whatever."

Something then drew Yami's attention... streaks of yellow, black and pink began to grow on Yugi's head, he then became larger...

The same was happening to Ryou, he was suddenly wearing his jumper!

Malik looked down as Marik began to get purple eyes....

It was then, that the hikaris had returned to normal...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yami screamed, "Yugi!!! Let go of my hair!!"

Yugi grinned sheepishly and let go of Yami's bang, "Sorry 'bout that..."

"RYOU!!!!!! Get off of me!!!!!!!" Bakura shoved Ryou off of his lap.

"You were the one who was stroking me!!" Ryou replied.

Marik stared at his yami in fear, "Um... Malik... can you let me go please? I-'m not a hamster anymore..."

He tried to get off when Malik held him tighter, "No hikari... you're too nice to let go of..."

Marik made a little 'eep', "Malik, I want to go to bed!!!"

Malik nodded understandibly, "Alright, but one thing..." he leaned towards Marik's ear and began to speak in a whisper, "May I come with you?"

"NO!!!!!!" Marik screached, and ran upstairs, the yamis and the two remaining hikaris walked upstairs...

/Hey Ryou.../

/Yes Yugi?/

/It looks like we've got another problem now../

/What do you mean?/

/I-I.... I think Malik's... g-gay..../

/Oh god.../

/Exactly./

/We'll have to beware in future then.../

/Yeah.../

Everyone went off to their rooms and were supposed to be getting to sleep...

/Malik?/

/Yes tombrobber?/

/Are you gay?!/

/Yes./

/Oh./

/Why?/

/Um.. nothing! But can I ask you something?/

/Of course./

/Do you fancie me?/

/I can't say yes or no./

/Oh... um.. that's alright... I-I was just checking../

/Ok! Nighty nighty!/

/Pyjama pyjama./

/Hope your sleep is../

/TOP BANANA!!!!/

/Malik, Bakura, shut up. I can hear that stupid little banana thingy you were saying./

Meanwhile... What Yugi can hear in the mind link...

/Night nighty/

/Pyjama pyjama.../

What Ryou can hear...

/Hope your sleep is.../

/TOP BANANA!!!!!!/

"Great scott! Tell me that wasn't Bakura who just shouted 'top banana'... damn... it was him.... I... I have no yami I have no yami I have no yami..."

What Marik can hear...

/Malik, Bakura, shut up. I can hear that stupid little banana thingy you were saying./

/Well sorry asshole!!!/

/I'm no asshole you tombrobber!!!/

/I know I'm a tombrobber./

/Just shut up./

/How about no you crazy pharaoh!!!!!/

/I'm not crazy.... well... not really crazy like you two anyway..../

Marik sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

"I have a feeling that living with our yamis isn't gonna' get any easier..."

(End Chapter)

Mai: We are back in another authoress note. Thank you for reading this chapter, please review.

Bakura: Blah blah review. And... shudder have a nice christmas.

Mai: Yep! See ya next timec in 'Yamis of Torture' and don't forget nice review!!!!

Thanks for the 26 reviews I have now aswell.

Review please!

(And hope you get what you want this christmas)

Bakura: Are you done yet?!

Mai: Nope. Because I have what I want right beside me...

Yugi: I'm not available. I'm Yami's property, and that would be inscest.

Mai: NOT YOU!!! My lil' 'Kury...

Bakura: Oh Ra...

Mai: Hehe, happy Xmas and new year!!!!!!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!


	6. Chapter Six: Tombrobber Cooking Nothin...

**Yamis of Torture.**

Mai: Hi guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nice to meet ya in another chapter of 'Yamis of Torture'!!!!!!!!!!!

Bakura: Hi.

Mai: I see you're in your usual talkative mood...

Bakura: Hm...

Mai: Though you talked more in the previous chapters... what's up?

Bakura: KEEP AWAY YOU EVIL HARPIE WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mai: Okaaaaaaaaay, let's get on with the thank yous...

**S.Chensu and Luff- **EXCUSE ME BUT I ACTUALLY DID UPDATE ON CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!!!! Or, christmas eve, so don't start yackin' on that I didn't update on time, because if you check the reviews, I have some on christmas eve AND day, no offense pal... Can't you be grateful that I actually updated? And that I actually took my time to update TWO chapters?! C'mon, think about it.

But anyway, I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I'm glad you're happy that I did update in the end. Heh, poor stressed Luff...

**PeaceSeeker- **I've talked to you a bit about stuff, which reminds me. (I'll get back to you in a minute PeaceSeeker)

**If anyone has any queries about this chapter, or any others please state so in a review or E-mail me. The address is on our profile. Thanks.**

Anyway, back to PeaceSeeker, it's nice to get reviews like yours, because at first, I was expecting nothing but flames from people, but all you guys, and you in particular, have been real nice to me. (Is that only because I'm a kid?! Because even though I'm 13, it makes me a kid compared to you guys.)

But yeah, it's been a real nice experience for me this has, because now that I know people appreciate my work, I can go onto writing even better stuff.

So thanks for all the stuff you've done. I appeciate it a lot.

(Geez, I probably sounded very cheesy then...)

**Jade Cade- **Lucky call there, if I hadn't checked my reviews I would've ended up missing you out!!!! But at least you're here now eh? Yeah, I wish I had a hamkari too... and I would probably take more care of mine aswell. I'm really nervous because everyone wants a hamster now... please DO NOT get your mothers on me. Or your local pet shop owner. I only wrote the chapter, it wass not intended to get you all wanting a hamster. Look up 'Hamtaro' on your internet searching thing (Google, ask Jeeves etc) I don't think Jeeves gives you images, but google does, and that's the search engine I use. Ham-hams are VERY cute, and you'll know who I turned each hikari into when you look it up.

**Michele- **Wow, I made you laugh... Heh, that's pretty cool, and I must admit that I too was in hysterics at the end of the chapter. Yes, Malik is gay, and it's rather amusing now because you're all begging to find out what happens next. Well, it'll all be revealed VERY soon, so keep reading. (AND REVIEWING PLEASE!)

**Sami (Or Animechik)- **I totally agree with you about Malik, I would've offered to get in bed with him aswell. He is SOOOOO HOT!!!!!!!! Oh, and 'Erotic'.( Soz, you told me to say it in your review) And I'm not going to answer your question about Bakura being gay due to certain reasons. Which you might've just figured out??????? Have you seen what the ham-hams look like? It sounded like you already knew of them, then again, so did I if I wrote a chapter featuring them.

Yugi: AHEM. The mini pharaoh is very bored.

Mai: STOP INTERUPTING ME SIS!!!!!!!!

Yugi: I can't help it, it's who I am.

Mai: Yeah, a lil' pipsqueak who goes around ranting 'all hail the mini pharaoh' and walks around like he has something stuck up his arse.

Yugi: Yami's-

Mai: NO!! THAT'S SICK!!!!!!! Moving on...

**autumnburn- **Hehe, you're gettin' quite ahead, and I like that. About the others falling in love... right now I'm not gonna' say anything. But I promise you that the first actual couple will feature in about chapter 8. At least, I think so, wait a sec'... If it's not chapter 8, then the pair will be warmin' up to each other then, and it will probably be chapteer 9. That's all I'm gonna' say for now.

**Eye-of-Misery- **You are a very cool person. You hate Yami, and by the sounnds of your pename, just sound VERY cool.I'm a very depressing person, or so my sis' tells me, in truth, I just wanna' be left alone. There are many idiots among us these days, so I choose to ignore them, simple as that. Surely you understand what I'm goin' through? But anyway, it certainly was a blast to write this chapter. Thanks for the compliment oh miserable friend.

**Esther 'n Era-goddess-ofChaos- **Ham-hams are extremely cute. Somehow even a depressing person such as myself can still be forced to go 'ahh' at their cuteness. I don't know how they do it, but they can. Heh, I sometimes update pretty fast, it all depends really, because I have more Yu-Gi-Oh! fics aswell, except I haven't posted them up yet, and I have my Beyblade story which is up, and I really need to start typin' the second chappy for that... Back onto Yu-Gi-Oh! now, I'm sure a few others may have interpreted Malik's gayness aswell, I saw him in the battle city series for the first time and thought, yeah, he's a yami, has a hikari,and will suit perfectly to my storyline. And there ya' have it, 'Yamis of Torture'.

**mellinde- **I hope I haven't made you upset, seeing as you used to have hamsters... I know a friend who used to have them aswell, but, I also hope you enjoyed the chapter because you already know a bit about hamsters. Look up 'Hamtaro' on the internet if you don't know what they all look like, they're very sweet things and I'm sure you'll love 'em.

Oh, and it's nice to see you've come out from under your bed now.

Mai: Well, that's all of 'em now-

Yugi: AHEM.

Mai: Oh yeah...

**Yugi/Pugi/Yami/Da pharaoh- **Hi sis'. Stop aggrivating me and update your own stories. I'm sure my reviewers wish to read more of 'A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events'. As do I for that matter, it seems I must aquaint you to this thing called the keyboard, it's amazing how you can use it to type letters up on a screen. (I love being sarcastic with you) AND IF YOU WANNA' BE IN MY THANK YOUS YOU HAVE TO REVIEW ME YOU LAZY THING!!!!!!!!

Moving on... Here I am sis', at the computer, updating, so before you nag, please consider that I even bothered to update in the end.

Mai: Finished.

Yugi: Can I go 'you-know-what' with Yami now?

Mai: You're still young, so not untill Yami comes here to collect you.

Yami: Hi aibou.

Mai: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WASN'T MEANT TO HAPPEN!!!

Yugi: Hehhe... by sis'!!!

Mai: Stupid midget...

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Kazuki Takahashi does.

**Chapter six:Tombrobber cooking Nothing but chaos.**

The next morning, the three hikaris were awoken by the smell of food.

Marik strode out of his room, cringing his nose at the smell, despite it being food, something seemed wrong, and Marik knew what it was...

The food was burnt.

"Yugi! Ryou! Wake up!" Marik called, he heard a few groans and a bit of shuffling around.

Suddenly, his tri-coloured friend came out, smiling weakly before letting out a yawn.

"Morning Marik."

Yugi breathed in then nearly choked, "What the hell is that smell?!"

He held his arm to his mouth, Marik frowned, "Bakura's been cooking."

Yugi rolled his eyes, "But didn't Ryou ban Bakura from the kitchen last week?!"

Marik looked up, "Yeah... I can somehow predict that Ryou's not going to be pleased..."

With such an accurate guess Marik might aswell have taken up the job as a phsycic.

Marik and Yugi watched as the white haired boy stormed out of his room.

"BAKURA!!!!!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO COOK?!"

He ran downstairs...

"Yep, he's angry all right." Yugi commented, "Come on, we'd better go see what's going on.."

Marik nodded and followed Yugi downstairs.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Malik watched in amusement as Bakura was being dragged out of the kitchen by his ear, Ryou ranting on about how he's always told him not to cook.

"Forgive me!!!! I promise not to cook again!!!!"

"You said that last time."

"But I mean it now!!!"

"Sure you do Bakura."

"Yes. I do!!!"

"No. You don't."

"At least let go of my ear!!!!"

"No."

"Aww... But why must you hurt my ear?!"

"Because you cooked when I STRICTLY told you not too, and because of that, the kitchens ruined."

"Bakura. Your hikari's a... a... clean.... person..." Malik gasped, "He has an addiction to cleanliness!! He is evil!!!!

Ryou frowned, "I'm not evil, I'm mearly looking after this place."

"You are full of clean!!!!!" Malik stammered, "Being clean is horrible!!!!"

"Do you take a bath?" Ryou questioned, the word 'bath' made Bakura scream.

"I AM DOOMED!!!! MY HIKARI HAS BATHS!!!!!! THE TOMBROBBER MUST NEVER HAVE A BATH!!!!"

"Eugh!!!! You disgusting person!!! Where is your sense of hygiene?!"Ryou spat.

"Up my ass!!!"Bakura laughed.

Ryou let go of his ear, "You're so rude Bakura!!!"

Bakura placed his hands on his hips and smoothed his hair down, "Oh look at me! I'm Mr.Hygiene!!!! I take.... baths..... and I care about my house!!!! And I wear a bloody jumper!!!!"

Ryou smiled, "But you used to wear my jumper too."

Malik sniggered at this, "He's got a point Kura'!!!!"

Bakura groaned and put his hair back to normal, "Baka...." he clasped his hands together, "Anyway, where's the pharaoh?"

As soon as Bakura had said that, Yami came downstairs, except he wasn't in his usual clothing...

"Yo what's with the drag Yami?" Bakura asked, Yami just gave him a confused look, Bakura rolled his eyes, "The jammies!!!!"

This just made Yami more confused.

Bakura stood up, "The p-ja-mas, you know, pyjamas?They've got stars on 'em."

Yami gasped, "Oh Ra!!!!"

Malik grinned, "Aw... blue with stars... don't you look cute!!!"

Yami blushed, "Yugi made me wear them!!!"

Bakura crossed his arms, "Heh, I don't have to wear pyjamas!!!"

"Oh, but I could get you a pair like mine if you wanted?" Ryou suggested.

Bakura frowned, "How about NO!!!!!!"

"You might as well Kura', I have to wear the same ones as Marik." Malik smiled.

Bakura looked up, "So?! I don't wear pyjamas!!!!"

Malik looked at him, "Then what do you wear?!"

"Nothing."

At that moment, Yami was having a nice cup of tea, he then spewed it out all over Yugi.

"Pardon tombrobber?!"  
Bakura rolled his eyes, "Do I have to spell it out?! I sleep in the NUDE,you know, the birthday suit, the full monty!!!"

Yami blinked and resumed to his tea, "I wish I hadn't asked... YUGI!!!! Why the hell is your hair soaked in tea?!"

Yugi looked up at him innocently, "You spat it on me."

Yami smiled, "Ah... bless, sorry about that, you'd better go spike your hair back up, it's kinda' dripping."

Yugi nodded and went upstairs.

"I think it might be better if I did get you pyjamas Bakura." Ryou suggested.

Yami nodded, "Yes!!! For the sake of us all!!!"

"And have a bath too." Ryou added, Bakura jumped onto Malik's lap.

"You said the dreaded b-word!!!!!!!!!!" he gasped.

"Bakura, I just said bath." Ryou sighed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! STOP SAYING THAT WORD!!!!" Bakura screamed.

"Bath." Ryou repeated, grinning with delight.

"NOOOOOO!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYMORE!!!!" Bakura screached, covering his ears.

Half an hour later, Yugi came back downstairs, his hair, newly spiked up and free of tea. Bakura grinned, "Uh Yami, aren't you gonna' get changed?"

Yami put down his empty mug, "I nearly forgot about that..." he got up and walked back upstairs.

"So what pyjamas do you wear Ryou?" Bakura asked,

Ryou blushed slightly, "Ones with the English flag on of course!!!"

Bakura gulped, "Are you gonna' make me wear them?!"

"Only if you want to." Ryou replied, "Besides,you're not exactly English are you?"

Bakura nodded, "Suppose I'm not... however... what does the English flag look like?"

"It's white with a red cross." Ryou smiled.

Bakura raised his eyebrows, "Doesn't sound that bad... ok! I'll wear them!!"

Malik frowned, "You're lucky Kura', I have to wear purple pyjamas!!!"

"But you told me you liked them!!" Marik spat.

Malik rolled his eyes, "But that was then and this is now Marik, so like, get in the flow man!"

Marik stared at his yami, confusion plastered on his face, "Ok, my yami's gone weird..."

_Then again he's always weird so I suppose it makes no difference!!!_

Bakura leaned back, "Let's watch some t'v..."

Yugi nodded as Yami just came back downstairs in his normal leather outfit, "Yeah, let's do something instead of talking about our pyjamas for the whole day."

The room then fell silent, and the three hikaris and Malik watched in awe as both the tombrobber and the pharaoh had their eyes on the t.v remote...

"I should have the remote because I'm the pharaoh!" Yami pouted.

"Ah! But I'm the almighty King of theives!!!!" Bakura grinned.

"I'm older than you though!!!!" Yami frowned.

"When's your birthday?" Bakura asked.

Yami crossed his arms, "The 17th of January!"

Bakura started to laugh, "Heh, it seems that you're not older than me..."

Yami frowned, "What do you mean?! When's your birthday!!!!"

Bakura smiled, "The 25th of September!!!!"

"HA HA HA PHAROH!!!!!!!!!" Malik roared with laughter, Yami lifted his chin to the ceiling, "I still deserve the t.v remote."

"No you don't."

"Yes. I. Do."

"Yet I said you don't."

"Tombrobber, just let me use the remote."

"No!"

"Please?"

"What did YOU eat this morning!!! You're being so... p- p- p-..."

"Yes tomborobber?"

"P-p-p-polite!! EUGH that word is disgusting!!!!!"

"Very nice tombrobber."

Both of them suddenly leapt at the remote.

"Mine!" Yami growled.  
"Mine!" Bakura snapped back at him.

"Mine!!!!"

"Mine!!!!"

"MINE!!!!"

"MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"NEMO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Malik screamed in delight, "I LOVE FINDING NEMO! IT'S THE BEST FILM EVER AND... um... I'd better shut up now..."

Marik sighed, "Yes, for all of our sakes please do!!"

Malik turned round and pulled a face, "I wasn't talking to you Mawik."

"How many times have I told you NOT to call me Mawik?!"

"Um.. let's see..." Malik starts to count on his fingers, "I... um... well, you have told me quite a lot, but I like calling you Mawik! MAWIK, MAWIK, MAWIK!!!!!"

"ALRIGHT!!! YOU'RE ASKING FOR IT!!!!!"

Marik and Malik began to fight each other, Yugi walked around the two yamis after the remote.

"Hey! Let's settle this fight like civilised people!!!"

"Shut up mini pharaoh!"

"I'm not mini!! Well I suppose I am kinda' short, but I'm not mini!!!"

"Yeah, sure you're not..."

"I'm not!!"

"Yes you are!!!"

"You're asking for it tombrobber!!!"

"OH! I GET TO FIGHT THE PHARAOH'S HIKARI!!!"

Bakura grinned and stretched out his arm, his palm on Yugi's forehead. Yugi thrashed about madly without managing to hit the tombrobber.

Yami smiled, "YAY! I GET THE REMOTE!!!!"

Bakura turned round startled, "HEY!!!GIVE ME THAT!!!"

And, it wasn't long till Bakura and Yami were fighting again, however, Yugi continued to beat Bakura up.

Ryou looked left and right, his eyes swivveling from Marik and Malik, to Bakura, Yugi and Yami.

"How come I'm not fighting?! Hang on..."

He began to sniff the air, his head turned to the kitchen...

"BBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKUUUUUUURRRRRRAAAA!!!!!!!!"

The yamis, Yugi and Marik all stopped fighting and turned to the kitchen, large black clouds were seeping out from the door, Bakura got up and gulped.

"Y-Yes oh wonderful hikari?"

Bakura walked into the kitchen, his arms sweeping away the smoke.

He looked down at his furious hikari on the floor, a tray in his hands.

Bakura sat down beside him.

"What is this Bakura?"

Bakura's eyes looked up at the ceiling, if it wasn't full of smoke clouds that is.

"I-I-It's toast...."

Ryou rolled his eyes, stood up, and slammed the tray of 'toast' onto the kitchen counter.

"One: I banned you from the kitchen last week, two: you've wrecked the entire kitchen.."

"How have I wrecked the kitchen?!" Bakura frowned, he then looked around him as there was a sqeak noise, and the water sprinklers on the ceiling turned on, the walls were stained a murky black and smoke filled the air.

"Oh, that's how."

Ryou sighed, wiping a wet bang from his forehead.

"Bakura, you are not leaving this kitchen till it's back the way it was, understand?!"

Bakura looked down at the floor, "Yes sir."

"Good."

Ryou walked out of the kitchen, Bakura sighed,"Baka..."

He looked at the floor and to his jeans, "I think my arse is getting wet..."

"Then stand up!!!!!!!!" Ryou's voice came from the other room.

Bakura looked around, "Where is the cleaning stuff?"

"In the cupboard under the sink!" Ryou replied.

Bakura nodded, the floor was covered in puddles, however, Bakura, who isn't exactly the brightest thing to walk on the planet, shot straight up and was about to run to the cupboard when he slipped on a puddle and banged his head on the top of the sink, falling on his face in another puddle.

"Ow...."

Everyone ran into the kitchen, Yami started to howl with laughter,

"The tombrobber can't even stand up without hurting himself!!!!!!"

Ryou kneeled down beside his white haired yami in a heap on the floor,

"What did you do Kury?"

A little muffled groan came from the tombrobber, " 'Anged 'm 'ead 'n 'he Ra 'amned 'ink."

Ryou frowned, "Um, could you speak up a little? I couldn't hear what you said."

Bakura sat up, his hand on his forehead, "I banged my head on the Ra damned sink."

Ryou sighed, "Yami, get a mop and wipe up the puddles."

Yami gasped and crossed his arms, "But I'm the pha-"

"Yes and I said MOP UP THE PUDDLES!!!!!!" Ryou boomed, Yami jumped up on the spot and grabbed a mop, he began to mop up the puddles, Malik, Marik and Yugi walked away, Ryou rolled his eyes, "Malik!!!! You can help them tidy the kitchen aswell!!! Come on Bakura, we'd better get a bandage for your head and some tablets to stop the pain."

He got up Bakura held onto him, "Ok Ryou."

The pair walked out of the room and sat on a sofa, Ryou walked over to a cupboard and took out a box full of pills and stuff on one side and bandages etc on the other.

Bakura's eyes scanned over all the pills.

"Wow... I could spike the pharaoh's drink..."

Sudden images of the drunk pharaoh came into his head, seeing this, Ryou took out some bits and slammed the box shut before walking back over to the cupboard and putting it inside.

"What are you going to do to me with those things?" Bakura asked worryingly, his voice had a little hint of fear in it, he stared at the bandages and screamed, "NO!!! I'M NOT READY TO BE MUMMIFIED YET!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T WRAP ME UP IN THEM!!!! I DON'T WANNA' BE A MUMMY LIKE THAT DECAYING PHARAOH!!!"

"I HEARD THAT!!" Yami shouted from the kitchen.

Ryou laughed, "Don't be silly Kury! I'm not going to mummifiy you!"

Bakura sighed with relief, "Good, I'm not ready to have my brain pulled out from my nose by each cord with a long metal hook!!!"

A sudden barfing noise was coming from the kitchen, Ryou sighed and walked into the kitchen, then screached in anger, "MALIK!!!!! YOU'VE THROWN UP ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!!! MARIK! SORT YOUR YAMI OUT HERE!!"

Marik strode into the kitchen and stood beside Malik, Yami looked at the other yami sympatheticly.

"Don't worry Malik, My brain was pulled out like that, it just comes out through the nostrils that's all, and it probably gets covered in bogies and stuff and-"

Malik looked up at Yami then continued to barf on the floor, Ryou looked like he was close to tears.

"WILL YOU ALL STOP RUINING MY KITCHEN?!"

He then ran out of the room screaming....

Bakura grabbed his arm, "I need my head sorted out..."

Ryou nodded, twitching nervously, "They've. Ruined. My. Kitchen..."

Bakura stared at him, "Oh Ra... look, I'll clean it for you ok?"

Ryou smiled and took out a gel ice pak, "OK! Here, you can numb the pain with this."

Bakura gave a funny look, "Um..ok..." he put the gel ice pak to his forehead and Ryou unwrapped the bandages, "See, if I wrap the ice pak to your forehead,you won't have to hold it."

Bakura nodded at his hikari's cleverness, his voice turned to a whisper, "Then again, maybe my brain has been taken out already..."

Ryou grinned, "I think it has."

Bakura rolled his eyes, "I knew you'd say that..."

Ryou let out a small giggle at his yami's remark and continued to sort out his head, and, after Bakura's several complaints that the colour of the ice pak clashed with his hair, Ryou managed to bandage the ice pak to this head.

Marik sighed and looked to his yami, who had finally finished barfing and was leaning over the sink, his hands grasped firmly on the edges to help him stand up.

"Maybe you should get some rest Malik..."

His alter-ego let out a small groan and leant his head further down, Marik put a hand on his shoulder.

"Even if you don't want to rest, it would be best if you did, come on..."

He wrapped his arm round Malik's waist and led him out of the kitchen,he stopped at the sofa.

"Malik's just off to get some rest."

The white haired hikari nodded and Marik continued to lead his yami upstairs.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Yami and Yugi were cleaning up.

/Yami?/

/Yes aibou?/

/How come you hardly get hurt or sick?/

/Uh... I.. don't.. know.../

/Wow, good answer./

/The pharaoh can't answer everything you know!/

/But you used-/

/Just forget what I used to tell you!/

/Yami! I can't take you anymore!!!!!!/

/But Yugi.. why?/

/When we lived in the game shop you were always so nice to me! You treated me like a brother!/

/I don't understand Yugi... what-/

/Why not Yami?!/

/Be-/

/I don't want to hear it!!/

/But Yugi, aibou../

/DON'T CALL ME AIBOU!!!/

/But../

/No buts Yami!! Don't you remember the past years?! All those tournaments we did, Duelist Kingdom, you remember that don't you?/

/Of course I do Yugi but-/

/Do you remember how we won that tournament?/

/Yes, we defeated Pegasus./

/Not that idiot!! I meant how WE won it!!/

/Oh... no, I don't rememember../

/TEAMWORK Yami!! Remember that?! And in battle city against Malik, followed by Dartz wanting everyones soul!! Me and you were a strong team, nothing could get in our way.../

/Yes, I remember that../

/So what did you do back then Yami? Did you just pretend you even cared about me?!/

/No!/

/Then how come like the time when Bakura put me on the rack, how come you actually stretched me yourself?!/

/I- er../

/WELL?!/

/Please Yugi, I never meant to do that, of COURSE I care about you!/

/Then why have you stopped showing it?! Do you not like me anymore?!/

/Yugi, of course I still like you!/

/No you don't Yami, all those times back then, they were all fake, you NEVER cared about me!!!/

/Yes I did Yugi!!!/

/I hate you Yami!!!! You used to be such a nice person, you were always there for me... it just makes me wonder... Were you always so nice to me just so you could use my body? Was I mearly your vessel to this world?!/

/No Yugi!!!/

/I've had enough of your excuses!!! Were has the real Yami gone?!/

/What do you mean?! I'm right here!/

/No you're not! The real Yami was kind and caring, worthy of the title as the pharaoh, you're not. You're nothing but a decaying baka who CLAIMS to be the pharaoh!/

/But I am the pharaoh!/

/Then you're not a very good one are you?!/

/Yugi.../

/As far as I'm concerened I HAVE NO YAMI!!!!!/

Yugi ran out of the room, Yami fell to the floor, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Yugi... I never meant to hurt you... please... forgive.. me..."

He suddenly stood up, an extremely deep shade of crimson in his eyes, the black eyeline turning into what Marik's were in battle city when he was being possesssed by Malik's evil...

_Say what you want baka, however, I'll show you I'm worthy of being the pharaoh, just you wait! I'll make you regret insulting the pharaoh!!!MUWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!_

Bakura frowned concerningly,

/Did you hear what I heard Ryou?/

/Yes./

/Somehow, seeing as all of us can use mind link, I don't think me and you were the only ones who heard them../

/Now what are we going to do Bakura?!/

/I don't think there's much we can do to be honest.../

/But Bakura.. we have to do something!! We have to get Yugi and Yami to forgive each other!!/

/Yeah.. but, you heard how seriously the pair were arguing, there's not much of a chance Yugi and Yami will like each other again../

/Maybe I should talk to Yugi../

/Yeah, I'll talk to Yami./

The pair got up.

/Oh Bakura!/

/What?/

/Try not to hit your head on the sink again./

/Heh, I won't!/

They both walked off in different directions...

/What a great time for Yami and Yugi to be arguing!!!/

/Mmm../

/Sorry Malik I didn't mean to wake you./

/It's ok, I think Yugi and Yami did that already./

/Oh.../

Malik got up and stretched,

/Tell you what Marik, I'm feeling better already!!/

/That's good, hey, Maybe you should go talk things out with Yami./

/Ok, you go talk to Yugi./

And so, like Ryou and Bakura, the pair walked off to the tri coloured boys...

Yugi curled up on his bed, letting his tears flow freely from his large purple eyes.

"Why Yami?! Was there something I did wrong?! What caused you to hate me so much?! Oh, it's so confusing..."

There was a knock at his door,

"Hmm?"

The door opened and Marik and Ryou walked in, they sat at either ends of his bed, he sat up and wiped his tears with his sleeve.

Ryou made a 'tut' noise and reached into his pocket,

"Don't use your sleeve! You've gotten it wet silly!Here.."

He gave Yugi a tissue, Yugi smiled thankfully and wiped his eyes.

"Thanks Ryou."

Marik patted Yugi on the shoulder,

"We heard you and Yami's argument in the mind link... everyone did.."

Ryou looked down at Yugi.

"I feel really sorry for you Yugi, it seems that ever since the dueling tournaments have ended, me and Marik's yami has gone nice and yours has gone.."

"Evil, heartless, stubborn, mean.."Yugi finished.

Ryou sighed and gave him a hug.

"Don't worry Yugi, me and Marik will always be here for you."

Marik nodded,

"Yeah! Just forget about that baka! He never deserved a hikari like you!"

Yugi smiled up at the pair,

"Thank you."

They nodded in reply, Yugi chuckled for a few seconds.

"I'm not sayng it's because your hair makes you look like a girl or anything Ryou, but, the way you're always tidying up after everyone and cheering them up when they're upset, you're like a mother..."

He laid his head on Marik's arm, Ryou began to think,

"Yes, I suppose I do..."

Marik grinned, "That's a good point Yugi, however, you do have quite long hair..."

Ryou frowned, "You have long hair too!!!"

Yugi burst out laughing, "That reminds me of that time when..."

"Oh no Yugi, please don't remind me..."

Marik eyed the pair suspiciously, "What happened Ryou?"

Yugi smiled, "Heh, well, it all happened when I introduced Ryou to my Grandpa..."

Flashback

At the Game shop.

Yugi and Ryou walked into the back part of the shop, which was, obviously, Yugi's home.

(A.N: Shame really... I thought it was a cardboard box...)

They sat down on the sofa where they were greeted by Yugi's Grandpa...

"Hello Yugi! Oh my... how did my little grandson manage to find such a beautiful woman like you?!"

Ryou rolled his eyes.

"I'm-"

"Don't tell me, you're Yugi's girlfriend? Ah I remember when I met Yugi's grandma.. ah.. how we had so much fun."

Yugi, who was now suffering total embarassment, shuffled off to the kitchen, Grandpa sat down close to Ryou, a little TOO close for his liking.

"By the way, I'm always single if you give up on yugi..."

Ryou let out a scream, "I'm very sorry sir but you have me quite mistaken! I'm a boy!!!!!!"

Grandpa shot up, "Oh dear, I'm so sorry!! It's just that your hair.. it makes you look like a girl..."

Ryou let out a laugh, "It's ok, most people mistake me for a girl..."

He ran off to the kitchen where Yugi was, Grandpa blushed madly.

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear... I'd better keep that a secret from Yugi..."

However, all the time that Granpa had chatted up Ryou, the tri-coloured boy had been watching, and he too, was absolubtly horrified...

End flashback

Marik layed back on the bed, howling with laughter, as was Yugi, Ryou however, had his face in his hands,

"Oh God... it's not that funny..."

Marik grinned, "Yes it is!!! You got chatted up by Yugi's grandpa!!!!"

Ryou frowned, "It was mearly an accident in which he got me muddled up for a girl."

"That was some accident then!!!" Marik laughed even more, unaware that the yamis were trying to listen to themselves speaking...

Bakura let out a groan and clasped a hand to his forehead, "My head hurts!!"

Malik nodded, "So does mine."

Instead of complaining, Yami stared at them, well, not exactly at them, it was as if he was staring straight through their bodies... unaware of their presense.

Malik frowned, "Y-Yami? Are you ok?"

Yami crossed his arms, "Bakura, burn them..."

Bakura raised his eyebrows, "Eh?"

"Burn them till they can't even whimper..."

"Burn who?"

"Those drated hikaris..."

"But Yami! They've been really nice to me and Malik, we can't just go and burn them!!"

"I thought I was the leader here?!"

"Y-You are Yami it's just that-"

"Silence you pathetic excuse for a tombrobber! You will obey my commands!!!!"

"Yami?!"

"I'm the pharaoh to you."

"Ok, pharaoh, but you MUST understand, we can't simply hurt our hikaris after what they've done for us!"

"Tombrobber. Unless you and your tombkeeper friend here want to burn along with your hikaris, I suggest you obey me right now."

"But-"

"NO BUTS!!!"

"Butt."

"Not that kind of 'but' either."

"Baka."

"I'm supposing you'd like to burn with the hikaris then?"

"No. I just don't want you to burn them!"

"Too bad tombrobber, now, set up the flame ring."

"Well? Do you want your own friend to be burnt alive?"

"No..."

"Then set up the flame ring before I'm tempted to just burn you on it!!!"

"..... Yes sir ....."

Bakura and Malik shuffled away, Yami smirked proudly to himself.

_For too long have I given those two second chances, now, it has changed,if they decline my orders, they shall pay with their own lives..._

(End chapter)

Mai: Hands up who just got scared stupid by Yami.

Bakura: Yes. He's gone mad. Madder than Malik, and that's saying something.

Malik: I'm not crazy!!!

Mai: Sexy guys around me... I think my heads goin' crazy!!!

THUMP.

Malik: What happened to her?!

Bakura: Dunno'... she just passed out or somethin'.

Malik: We'd best continue this then.

Mai: NO NEED! I-I can handle it!!!

Bakura: You sure you don't need our help?

Mai: I'll give you two that answer later on.

Malik: Freaky...

Mai: Hehe... hope you enjoyed the chappy and don't forget to...

Bakura: REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mai: Yep!

Malik: Review review review review review review. (Please?)

Mai: See you all in the next chappy of 'Yamis of Torture'!!!!!!!!!!!


	7. Chapter Seven: The heat of the night

Yamis of Torture

Mai: Hi, I'm real sorry for the (VERY) late update. Please don't start having a go at me. I've been trying real hard 'n that recently with trying to update two stories at once. Unfortunatly, I'm no-where near to updating my beyblade story, however, I'll do my best to get the next chapter of it up quickly. But for now, here's the next chappy of 'Yamis of Torture'!

Bakura: Hello.

Mai: Oh, hi 'Kura!

Bakura: Hm. Pharaoh's gone nuts now... Possibly weirder than me...

Mai: Um, well, that is still to be judged...

Bakura: Eh!

Yugi: HI EVERYONE! IT'S YUGI!

Mai: Does she think we're stupid or something?

Yugi: HI MAI! HI BAKURY!

Mai: Goodbye Yugi.

Yugi: MEANIE! YAMI MEAN TOO!

Yami: MOWAHAHA! HELLO!

Mai: We're all going to die...

Bakura: I'LL KILL YOU FIRST PHARAOH! DON'T KILL THE AUTHORESS!

Mai: Aw, how nice of you 'Kura!

Bakura: Baka, I only wanna' kill Yami.

Mai: WHAT! Hmph, let's just get on with the thank yous.

Yugi: DON'T GO NEAR MY TIGHT ASSED YAMI-KINS! NO THANK YOUS TILL I KNOW YAMI'S SAFE!

Mai: Bakura. Sit down.

Bakura: Fine... evil harpie woman...

Mai: WHAT DID YOU SAY!

Yugi: Heh, um, we interupt this fight to do the thank yous.

Yami: Hehehe...

Mai: I CAN DO IT MYSELF YOU-

Yugi: MEEP!

Mai: Ahem, thanks to- **mellinde, Jade Cade, S.chensu and Luff, PeaceSeeker, Yugi, Nightmare Magician, Dark Magician Girl/Hikaru, Eye-Of-Misery, Yami Lover **and** Computerfreak101. **Keep on reviewin' my wonderful peeps! Hope you like this chappy! So, read on 'n that, enjoy, and DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!

**Chapter seven: The heat of the night.**

It was now dinnertime, and the yamis were nowhere to be seen...

However, Ryou was now in a better mood because he had managed, with the help of Yugi and Marik, to clean, or more like repair the kitchen to it's normal state, except from the tray which Bakura used for the toast, that was now a black, charcoal mess.

For dinner, was the typical English roast, courtesy of the typical Englishman, Ryou Bakura.

Yugi scoffed the food in his mouth, savouring the delicous taste, Marik just sat there, eyeing one of the peas as if it had some secret plan of world domination.

He stabbed it with his fork, holding it up to the light, untill a drop of gravy went in his eye, which he then threw down the fork and went to get another.

"THAT PEA IS CURSED" He declared, sitting back at the table and presuming to eat the rest of his food, always glancing at the pea for a fews seconds.

Ryou sighed and picked the fork up and took the pea off, which made Marik gasp.

"NO RYOU! IT'S GOT YOU TOO" Marik screached, Ryou walked out into the kitchen and mumbled random words to convince Marik that he has sealed away it's so-called 'curse' with a special chant.

He then strode back to the table and resumed to his meal, Marik smiling about the disappearance of the 'pea of world domination'.

Yugi looked up at the clock,

"Guys, I'm getting kind of worried... It's 7:00 yet we haven't seen the yamis anywhere..."

Marik finished down the last of his meal and leant back"Don't worry Yugi, they'll be fine, they're big boys now."

Yugi rolled his eyes"That's not what I meant, what I meant was, how do we know they're not planning another torture for us"

Ryou finished the last of his food too"He's got a point Marik, we've been tortured three nights in a row now..."

"That's it Ryou" Yugi exclaimed"It's a pattern! The yamis only torture us at night"

Marik smiled"Stop worrying so much! They just want us to THINK that, but they're just pretending."

Ryou shook his head"I still think they're going to torture us... Aren't you worried Marik"

"I, Marik Ishtar, member of the tombkeeper clan, am NEVER worried"

Half an hour later...

Marik gulped"I'm worried..."

Ryou raised his eyebrows"But you're Marik Ishtar, you NEVER get worried"

"Yes, well, that was then, but now I reckon we should go find the yamis"

The trio stood up and crept up the stairs...

Meanwhile, outside in the fire ring...

"Faster you bakas" Yami, or the pharaoh, commanded.

Bakura and Malik were carrying three large logs onto a platform which was surrounded by a ring of firewood.

After they'd successfully managed to heave all three logs ontop of the platform, the two yamis layed against two of the pillars out of nine that formed a ring around the platform.

Yami crossed his arms"You two are so lazy..."

Bakura rolled his eyes"You've only just noticed"

"Shut up." The pharaoh scowled.

Malik sighed"I'm bored"

Yami smirked"Don't worry, it won't be much longer, I can see them in the windows, they're upstairs..."

Bakura gasped.

_Oh Ra, if they go in the torture room... they're doomed... Please, don't go in the torure room... please..._

Unfortunatly, the hikaris reached the torture room and peered inside,

"There's no one here" Marik exclaimed.

Ryou frowned"That's strange... I wonder where they went..."

Yugi entered the room"They're definatly up to something..."

He took a few steps forward untill...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH"

Yugi fell down a trap hole.

"I'm comin' Yug'"

Marik ran in the room and jumped down the trap hole.

Ryou walked into the room nervously and stared down at the hole,

"I never was the brave person... oh well, I've got to go find Marik and Yugi"

He jumped down the hole...

Eventually, the hikaris came to a clearing of what looked like a forest.

Ryou opened his eyes and smiled"I landed on something soft..."

"That was me" Ryou turned to the young Egyptian, Yugi suffocating underneath him.

"Get up Marik" Ryou said, pulling Marik up, allowing Yugi to breath.

"So that's the soft thing I landed on" Marik exclaimed"Sorry 'bout that Yug'."

Marik held out his hand, Yugi opened his eyes, his large purple orbs meeting the outstretched hand, he sat up and took hold of the hand and stood up.

"Where are we" Yugi asked, gazing at their surroundings.

Ryou looked round till he spotted a ring of pillars round a platform"Hey, what's that..."

"Don't Ryou" Marik called"You don't know what you're doing, RYOU"

He ran after Ryou, Yugi watched them"I suppose I have no choice but to follow them... HEY! WAIT FOR ME"

He ran up to the pair who were standing inside the ring of pillars infront of the platform.

"Something tells me I've got us into trouble again..." Ryou gulped.

Marik started to panik"Then let's get ourselves out of trouble and leave this place"

Yugi nodded"Yeah, this place is making the shadow realm look safe..."

The trio turned round when the middle of each pillar burst into flames...

"Great scott! How on earth did those flames appear" Ryou gasped.

"Shadow powers..." Marik mumbled, squinting his eyes for a clearer view.

"OOGA BOOGA"

A what looked like, person, wearing a bizzare mask was doing some odd dance towards them, Yugi suddenly noticed what was on the platform.

"M-Marik... I think this guy's going to burn us"

"What makes you say that Yug'"

"Well, one: There are three large logs standing upright which someone could chain us up to, two: It looks like there is firewood surrounding the logs, and three: This guy seems the pyro type."

"Bakura" Ryou said"No one likes flames more than he does"

Marik nodded"The yamis have got us again..."

Yugi sighed"This is going to be one LONG night..."

Ryou gulped"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I got us into trouble again"

"Way to go Ryou! Now we are going to be burnt alive." Marik rolled his eyes.

Yugi shuffled uneasily"Don't look now guys... Yami's arrived..."

Yugi was right, for a person headed towards them, followed by another dancing lunatic.

The other lunatic joined it's friend, or in other words, the hikaris could easily tell by the colour of each yami's hair, that the first lunatic was Bakura, and the second one who had walked, or danced behind Yami was Malik.

All of the yamis were topless, Yami had a cloak and they wore only a white cloth around their waists, plus a mask each too.

The yamis all took off their masks, and, without them, they looked like normal Egyptians, exept one is the pharaoh, another a assain and last but not least, one is a tombrobber.

"Hello hikaris..." Yami smirked, he sat down on a golden throne. "I see you've stumbled into our flame ring, I'm guessing you already know your fate here"

Marik frowned"Um... could you translate that please"

"What I mean is 'do you know what's going to happen to you here" Yami replied harshly.

Marik rolled his eyes"Well duh! You're going to set us alight like human-sized matchsticks"

Yami nodded"Correct! Now as your prize, you can test out this torture"

"Oh thank you ever so much! I LOVE our prize" Marik cooed sarcasticly.

Yami clicked his fingers"Get them."

Bakura froze.

_I can't believe I have to do this to Ryou... but orders are orders..._

"Well what are you waiting for" Yami boomed"GET THEM"

"Y-Yes sir" Bakura stuttered, grabbing Ryou and holding his arms behind his back, Ryou winced in pain"Bakura! Why are you doing this"

"Pharaoh's orders."

"I thought you never took commands from the pharaoh"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Why not"

"Because Ryou."

"Because what"

"Just because"

"Stop the torture"

"No."

"Bakura! What is going on! Why won't you help me"

"I can't."

"But why"

"Yami said he'll kill me and Malik if I save you lot."

"Actually, I've decided just to kill you tombrobber."

Bakura turned round"Baka..."

"Oh I wouldn't speak to like that to me, not if I were a low life baka like you, you disgust me tombrobber, why if only you had stayed in the shadow realm, then maybe Malik and I would stand a better chance at world domination."

He let go of Ryou"Maybe you"

"Not yet tombrobber, I want to watch your hikari burn along with the other two. Now, hurry up and chain them to the logs, oh yes, take off their shirts, jumpers etc."

"What difference is that gonna' make" Bakura snapped.

"It was an ancient tradition my father taught me, if someone was wearing any upper clothing, it had to be removed so that they were left with only lower clothing, it showed that they were sinners and didn't deserve to live, it's just a shame we didn't have another log, we could have burned you aswell." Yami replied with a smirk"Anyway, carry on. I want to see them burn."

Bakura looked at Ryou.

"I'm sorry..."

Ryou nodded and took off his jumper, followed by his shirt and handed them to Bakura, all that was left was his millenium ring hanging from his neck.

Yami began to think"Take their shoes aswell, they need bare feet."

Bakura nodded and Ryou handed over his shoes.

Bakura then led him over to one of the logs and chained him up.

"Hand over the shirt Marik."

"No."

"Why not"

"Because you'll take it"

"No I won't."

"Promise."

"I promise, oh, and your shoes too."

"Fine."

Marik handed over his shirt and shoes and was also chained up to a log.

Yami looked around"Where's Yugi"

Malik shrugged his shoulders"I-hang on..."

Malik stared at the last log, two black and pink spikes were poking out from the sides.

He grinned and backed up to the log before peering round, Yugi smiled weakly and waved. "H-Hi Malik! I never expected to see you here, wonderful weather isn't it"

Malik nodded"Yes it is! What's your"

"JUST CHAIN HIM TO THE LOG ALREADY" Yami boomed, Yugi jumped up startled"Is this my queue to run"

Yugi got out from behind the log and began to run away, only, there was a fire ring around the platform, so he ended up having to run in circles.

Yami stood up"GET HIM BAKAS"

Malik and Bakura looked at each other before chasing Yugi round the circle.

"RUN SHORTY RUN" Marik cried.

Yugi frowned"I'M NOT THAT SHORT! BUT I'LL TAKE YOUR ADVICE ANYWAY"

After a few minutes, Yugi had still not been caught, Bakura and Malik were on the floor panting and wheezing.

Yami had had enough.

He sighed and stuck his foot out as Yugi passed, causing him to trip and fall on the floor, he then got up and grabbed Yugi by the back of his shirt, the young boy dangling infront of him.

"WAHOO! I CAN FL-Oh, it's just you... I mean hi Yami!

Yami put him down and took off Yugi's shirt and shoes, then put them to the side and carried him under his arm over to the final log.

Yugi thrashed about wildy"I am the mini pharaoh I command you to put me godamn down"

"Ok."

Yami dropped Yugi straight onto the floor and picked him back up by his arm.

"Now then, you be a good little boy and stand there with your friends attached to the logs whilst we get ready to burn you."

"Ok Wami."

"Yami."

"Wami."

"Yami."

"Wa"

"I do not have time for this. Tombrobber, get the torch, Assain, get the oil."

Ryou frowned"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE"

Bakura rolled his eyes"I said that and look where it got me."

"Ryou, save your screaming for later." Marik suggested.

"But..." Ryou started, then looked down at the fire wood being placed at their feet.

Yugi began to wriggle about and eventually gave up on that idea, so he started to sing"I want to break free! I want to break free! La la la la la, YEAH I WANT TO BREAK FREE"

"Oh for the love of Ra SHUT UP" Bakura moaned, covering his ears.

Malik grinned"How about this song? Burn, baby, burn... disco furno"

"That's my song" Bakura shouted, before joining in with the song.

Yami frowned"We didn't come here to sing! Now hurry up and burn them"

"Yes sir" Malik and Bakura chourused.

Malik began to pour the oil over the firewood and Bakura took out a torch, then lit it.

Yami sighed"Finally! We're going to torture them"

Bakura stood there with the torch, the flame slowly burning.

"Well" Yami spat"What are you waiting for! Light the firewood already"

Bakura looked at him, then to the struggling hikaris on the platform.

Yami watched him"Tombrobber, get on with it already."

Bakura stayed rooted to the spot"But I don't want to burn them..."

Yami rolled his eyes and strode over to him"JUST DO IT ALREADY"

Bakura shook his head"No..."

Yami just took the torch off of him"Fine, I'll do it myself."

He walked up to the platform and knelt down, allowing the fire to spread in different directions, he then, instead of just leaving the torch to burn with the other wood, picked it back up and turned to the tombrobber.

"You've been causing me and my people trouble for too long tombrobber, now is the time to do the thing I should have done centuries ago..."

Yami paced towards Bakura, grasping the torch in both hands, Bakura backed up till his back was against a pillar. Yami raised the torch.

"TOMBROBBER! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM"

Marik looked around him, Yugi screaming in pain, Ryou just standing in concusion.

He continued to fiddle around with the chains, he then, with a bit of luck, managed to use the blade of the millenium rod to snap the chains, and as he tried to get to Yugi however, he had forgotten that he was standing on flames.

"OH RA IT BURNS" He screached, hopping on one foot then the other, he then managed to free Yugi and pick him up.

As Marik was hopping over to him, Ryou stirred from his concusion and turned to Marik, who was carrying Yugi under his arm.

Despite the fact he was being burnt to a crisp, something else caught Ryou's attention, someone was screaming on the other side of the flames!

As soon as Marik had freed him, he ran across the flames and stared in horror as Yami blew out the torch, Bakura on the floor, large burns on his body.

Marik and Yugi got over the flames and sat beside Ryou, who was searching for a sign of life in his yami.

Yugi stood up infront of Yami,

"YOU'RE NOT YAMI" He cried.

Yami looked down at him"Oh yes I am..."

Yugi shuddered at Yami's voice, it sent chills down his spine.

"You can't be Yami"

"Yes I can..."

"Yami doesn't have those eyes"

"He does now..."

"He doesn't have that voice either"

"You're catching on little one"

"GET OUT OF YAMI'S BODY"

Yugi began to throw punches at 'Yami', Yami then tripped him up and picked him up by the front of his neck.

"Heh, you're pretty persistant are'nt you"

"LEAVE YAMI ALONE"

"It's your fault I'm here though..."

"What"

"Don't you realise little Yugi? He may not have shown it to you these days, but Yami DOES care about you, it's just that he didn't show it..."

"That's where I come in, after that argument you and him had, Yami lost the will to go on, so he locked himself in his soulroom. He thought you'd have a better life if he weren't around, so I, his dark side, came forth, so now I take full control over his body. I suppose I've done Yami a favour already..."

"What do you mean"

"Well I've just about grilled the tombrobber to death... and it won't be long till I can get the assain, followed by his hikari, then the other one, but first, I think I'll strangle you."

Yami's evil side began to tighten his grip, Yugi thrashed about, hoping Yami's evil side would let go of him, but, no luck, his grip only tightened, and Yugi was rapidly losing breath.

Ryou took one look at his yami, then glared up at Yami's evil side, he picked up the torch (which was now burnt out) and stood up"This one's for Bakura" He slammed the torch round the back of the evil Yami's head.

The evil Yami dropped Yugi and fell on the floor.

Ryou dropped the torch and put his hands on hips"There, that wasn't so hard."

Yugi, Marik and Malik stared at him, their mouths an O shape.

"Woah... Ryou, since when did you fight" Marik exclaimed.

Ryou smiled"I haven't fought anyone before..."

This just made Marik more confused.

Yugi sighed peacefully"I'm sleepy..."

He let out a yawn and collapsed in Marik's arms.

Malik frowned"Maybe we should all go back in the house..."

Marik and Ryou nodded.

"Hey, where is my lovely purple top" Marik asked,l ooking around him

Malik rolled his eyes and walked over to a pile of clothes, he gave them to Ryou and Marik.

Ryou then picked Bakura up bridal style and layed his clothes on top of his yami.

Marik scooped the sleeping tri-coloured boy under his arm and held his and Yugi's clothes under the other.

Meanwhile, Malik was trying to keep Yami on his shoulder without letting him slip off.

Ryou grinned"Well at least it's not raining"

Suddenly there was a roar of thunder and the fire ring was washed away by the rainfall...

"RYOU"

(End chapter)

Mai: Whola, another chapter done. I know it's all dodgy stuff, however my writing's much better in later chapters. Trust me.

Bakura: Whatever E.H.W.

Mai: Hmph. Baka, I told you not to call me that!

Yugi: Hewwo my dear chums!

Yami: MOWAHAHA! Hello Yugi...

Yugi: Mmh hm! Hi Wami! You sound vey seductive...

Yami: Huh? Sed-uc-tive?

Yugi: Yes... Sexy... hot... MINE!

Yami: WHAT!

Mai: And so, we leave you viewers once again. Please review and I'll see you next time in Yamis of Torture!

Yugi: Bye bye!

Yami: Hm. I think I'll make you my hostage...

Yugi: Scrap hostage, I'll be your slave!

Yami: Actually, I do need one now that I think about it...

Yugi: YAY!

Mai: SOMEBODY HELP ME!


	8. Chapter Eight: Hanging out with the tomb...

Yamis of Torture

Mai: Ahem, soz for the oh so late update peeps!

Bakura: UPDATE!

Mai: What d'you think I'm doing!

Bakura: You're changing the subject here.

Mai: I'm updating!

Yugi: NO YOU'RE NOT!

Mai: CLEAR OFF!

Bakura: Ra, not that thing again...

Yugi: YES! It is I, the thi- HEY!

Bakura: Heh, idiot.

Mai: The pair of you just shut up, soz 'Kura, but I need to get on with this.

Bakura: Sure. Go ahead, I'll keep this lil' one busy.

Yugi: I'LL SET YAMI ON YOU!

Bakura: Just try it...

Mai: Ok, those two are just running around in the background, so we'll get on with the story.

**Jade Cade- **Erm, thanks for calling me evil harpie woman, it was greatly appreciated... Hope you'll enjoy this chappy as the real Yami shall return! The hikaris say thank you for your good luck wishes and as for Malik's dancing... It adds humour(I think...). Thankies!

**Kiko cat- **Thanks for your review, and I'm glad you liked the chapter, so as you asked, I'm carrying on!

**Dark-KaZuki- **Hello again to you too, it's great to here so many positive reviews from all you guys, so thanks! Here I sit, continuing the story, as a whole load of you have said in your reviews.(By the way, I like Bakura and Marik, so its fun to see that you like these two with Mai. Can you recommend any of fics of those pairings for me? Pretty please?)

**mellinde- **Ah my humour never seems to lack in my chappys, hehehe... Glad to see you liked da chappy. (I've said this so many times to everyone now) But hey, I know it's a late update, but you guys will forgive me for that won't you? Its ok, not everyone likes fire, so its good I weren't too graphic then eh?

**Computerfreak101- **You're not the only Bakura fan, I'm one too. Do you really think I'd kill him? I'm not that mean... sniff We're all one bunch of fangirls desiring to have Bakura, so watch where you start declaring your undying love for him 'k? They might try 'n chase you. And you're my friend so I don't want anything to happen to you. I'm not being rude, I SWEAR ON MY LIFE! I'M SO SORRY IF I'VE OFFENDED YOU! FORGIVE ME! Ahem, anyway... thanks for the review!

**PeaceSeeker- **Hi my wonderful buddy! I'm really sorry but Yugi got our computer banned so I haven't able to reply to your e-mails, I'll still be your BETA reader for you though! I'm real sorry for being so late at updating!

**YamiServant- **Wow, my writing is lovely? Cool!Oh, E.H.W is the initials for evil harpie woman, which Bakura keeps calling me. (Cos I'm Mai ain't I? And I actually have harpies, YAY!) My sis wants your pename, she'd do anything to be Yami's servant. (When I say she'll do ANYTHING, I mean it. She's... slightly beyond overly obssessed with Yugi and Yami.)

**bunny1- **Yes, Ryou is not a coward in this fic. I officialy announce that in later chapters, HE WILL KICK BUTT! You'll see! Hehehe! (Ignore the 'hehehe' part...)

**Esther'nEra-guardians-ofchaos- **Heh, hope your friends didn't give you too much hassle once you apologised to the rain, my sis did the same thing once. Don't blame poor ickle Ryou! I am the authoress! WAIT! DON'T BLAME ME! (Thanks for the review!)

Mai: Dat's the thank yous done!

Bakura: Ok, my turn. Mai does not own Yu-Gi-Oh! and would prefer you not flame her for the late update, but thank her for actually updating. Thank you.

Yugi: HEY! WHERE DOES THE MINI PHARAOH COME IN HERE! DON'T I GET A THANKS FOR BANNING THE COMPUTER! BOW DOWN TO ME!

Mai: I'm ashamed to say that's my older sister...

Bakura: Then don't.

Mai: Ok! Well, now that's all over please leave a nice review after the chapter(sounds like some answer phone. 'please leave your message after the tone'.) BEEP!

Yugi: DON'T IGNORE ME! WORSHIP ME FOR ALL THE GREAT THINGS I HAVE DONE!

Mai: What great things?

Yugi: I don't know...

**Chapter Eight: Hanging out with the tombrobber.**

Ryou walked into Bakura's room and carefully laid him on the bed, he took a few steps back and sat on nearby chair, putting his shirt and jumper back on.

/Bakura/

/Bakura/

/Bakura, please, say something.../

/Please Bakura/

/P-Please.../

Ryou fell onto his knees on the floor. He clenched his fists, tears flowing from his eyes.

"Bakura..."

Marik and Marik walked into Yami's room, they put both Yugi and Yami on the pharaoh's double bed, Malik sighed, "I'll be in my room if you need me..."

Marik nodded and put on his shirt, he watched Malik leave the room then stood up, heading towards the door. He took one look at the tri-coloured boys then headed off to his own room...

Marik stopped at Bakura's room and peered inside,

"Ryou?"

The white haired boy looked up, his eyes red and puffy.

Marik walked in and knelt beside Ryou.

"H-He won't wake up..." Ryou stammered.

Marik frowned, "Have you tried using mind link? That's what we did to you when you were unconcious."

"Yes, but he still won't wake up!"

Marik wrapped his arms round Ryou, "Don't worry, he'll be ok..."

Ryou began to sob into his shirt, "But what if he... dies?"

"He won't Ryou, trust me."

"But-"

"Ryou..."

"Ok..."

"Go get some sleep."

"But I want to stay with Bakura!"

"But you'll have to sleep on the floor."

"So!"

"Fine, come get me or Malik if anything happens, actually- just call me."

Marik got up and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Ryou held one of Bakura's hands.

"Night 'Kura..."

He curled up in a ball and closed his eyes, letting his tears flow freely down his face...

Yugi opened his amethyst eyes, he noticed that he was cuddling something, or someone.

He let his eyes adjust to the surroundings, then saw a mass of black and pink hair infront of him. Yugi's eyes then went blurry.

"Oh Yami! I'm so sorry about our argument earlier, I didn't know you DID care, please, forgive me..."

He closed his eyes, tears rolled down his face.

"Excuse me, you're getting my shirt wet."

Yugi looked up at the pair of crimson eyes, all the hatred had gone away.

The real Yami had returned.

"Yami!" Yugi cheered, squeezing Yami round the waist, "You're back!"

Yami laughed, "Did you miss me?"

"Of course I did!" Yugi replied, hugging him even more.

Yami frowned and pushed Yugi away, then got up and walked over to the window.

"I'm sorry for what he did to you Yugi..."

Yugi sat up on the bed, "What do you mean?"

Yami sighed and put his face in his hands, "My evil side nearly killed you..."

Yugi nodded, "I know, but- I don't mind, besides, it wasn't me you NEARLY killed..."

"Bakura..." Yami gasped, "Oh Ra, what have I done!"

"Well... you didn't do something good, that's for sure."

"Is he alright!"

"I don't think so..."

"Oh Ra... Have you seen him yet?"

"No... I fell asleep afterwards..."

"Maybe I should go see him..."

"I don't think he's concious right now..."

"I'm such an idiot! I let my dark side take over and now look what's happened!"

"Don't blame yourself Yami, it's my fault really, I'm the one who shouted at you. Come on, get back to bed, we've all had a tiring day."

"Alright..."

Yami crawled back into bed and layed down, Yugi shuffled over to him and layed down next to him, laying his head on Yami's chest, they closed their eyes and drifted off to sleep...

The next morning...

Ryou awoke to find someone poking his back, he raised his head level with the bed and saw another pair of brown eyes staring down at him.

"Bakura!" He jumped onto the bed and hugged his yami. "You're alive!"

The tombrobber grinned, "What can I say? I die hard! Hey..." He ran a hand down Ryou's cheeks, "You've been crying..."

Ryou nodded, "I tried to speak to you in the mind link but you wouldn't answer, I thought you were going to die..."

"Yeah, but I didn't, so cheer up."

"Ok, so, are you feeling alright?"

"Well, the burns do hurt a bit, but, I'm fine."

Ryou stood up and crossed his arms.

"It looks like you're going to have to stay in bed for a few days then."

"WHAT! I am the elusive tombrobber with a full life of world domination ahead of me! I have no time to rest!" Bakura stammered.

Ryou smiled at his yami, "That's just a shame then isn't it?"

Bakura pointed a finger at him, "Alright, but if I die of boredom, make sure that Téa girl don't say a friendship speech at my funeral!"

Ryou let out a laugh then walked out of the room, his head then poked back round the door, "By the way, just call if you need something."

Bakura watched him leave the room then grinned,

"RYOU!"

Ryou ran into the room, "Yes?"

Bakura smiled, "Oh nothing, that was my practice call."

Ryou rolled his eyes and left the room.

"RYOU!"

"Yes?"

"That was my second practice call."

"Whatever..."

Yugi opened his eyes, "Mornin' Yami."

Yami smiled, "Morning aibou."

Yugi watched his yami head for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, I just need to apologize to Bakura."

Yugi nodded and hopped out of bed.

"Wow, that's a pretty big bed for a small person like me..."

He shrugged his shoulders and left the room, he then ran back into Yami's room and took his shirt and shoes.

"I knew I'd forgotten something..."

Bakura huffed and layed back on his bed when there was a knock at the door.

"Who wishes to see the tombrobber?"

"The pharaoh does."

"Oh hello!"

"Can I come in?"

"Um... I do not know the answer to your question..."

"Please?"

"Ok. I'm giving you ten mintues, I need to plan more ideas for world domination."

"Thank you."

Yami walked into the room, Bakura smiled evily and watched as Yami activated one of his traps and was now hanging upsidedown by his legs.

"MUWAHAHAHAAAA!"Bakura laughed.

"Get me down tombrobber!"

"9 more minutes pharaoh."

"Fine. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what my evil side did to you last night."

"Heh, heh, heh... I'm liking this... just wait till everyone knows you apologized to a tombrobber!"

"Big woop. Now, am I forgiven?"

"Not at the moment, I need to watch you hang upside down some more..."

"TOMBROBBER!"

"Yeeeeeeeeesssssss?"

"Can you get me down?"

"Yes, later. You still have 7 minutes left."

"Tombrobber, if you don't let me down I'm gonna'"

"RYOU! PHARAOH'S TRYING TO KILL ME!"

Ryou ran upstairs and put his hands on his hips.

"Yes, Yami is going to kill you when he's dangling from the ceiling isn't he?"

"Yes Ryou, he is." Bakura replied.

"So, how can he do that?" Ryou questioned.

"Ah, but that is a thing only us yamis know, shadow powers you see."

"Right, now, let Yami down."

"NO! HE STILL HAS 5 MORE MINUTES LEFT!"

"Bakura..."

Marik, Malik and Yugi suddenly ran into the room and, they too met Yami's unfortunate fate, they also fell into traps and were now hanging on the ceiling.

Ryou, who was the only remaining person to have not got caught in a trap, frowned, "That was uncalled for!"

Bakura pouted and took out a switch, "You're no fun!"

Ryou was then also hanging from the ceiling.

Suddenly Bakura pressed another button and Yami was zapped by electricity, Bakura watched as the millenium puzzle fell from Yami's neck,he made a dive for the puzzle then caught it, put it on his neck, and layed back down.

"Thank you for the kind jesture pharaoh! You are now forgiven."

"TOMBROBBER!"

"Silence, you'll hurt my delicate ears."

Yugi laughed, "Since when were they delicate!"

Bakura grinned, "Why should I have just one puzzle when I could have both!"

He pressed another button which zapped Yugi, causing his puzzle to fall off too.

Bakura caught it aswell and put it on his neck, "Well, what do you know? It looks like I've got the millenium puzzles!"

Yami frowned, "Give back our puzzles! YUGI!"

Yami turned to his hikari, Yugi was hanging there, his eyes swirly with confusion.

"Yugi! Uh.. YUGI! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM!"

Bakura smiled, "The same as I did to you." He pressed the button again and

Yami got zapped yet again, his hair spiking a LOT more than usual.

Bakura held a hand to his forehead, "Alas! I still need three more items!"

He looked up at Marik, "Oh Mawik! May I borrow your wod?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you called me Mawik."

"But that's your name!"

"It's Marik."

"Ok 'Marik'. Please may I borrow your item? I'll give it back to you!"

Marik held his rod to his chest, "No! I'm not letting some white rat put his dirty hands on my item!"

"WHITE RAT! I have you know I'm no white rat! I'M the oh so wonderful tombrobber who has a nice pretty button that can do this!"

He pressed the button and zapped Marik,his rod fell onto the end of Bakura's bed.

Bakura picked it up joyfully, "MUWAHAHAHAAA! SOON I WILL HAVE ALL YOUR ITEMS AND THEN I CAN PERFORM MY PLAN OF WORLD DOMINATION!Ahem, now then, MALIK! GIVE ME YOUR RA-DAMNED ITEM!"

Malik's bottom lip began to quiver, "But you're supposed to be my friend!"

"And I am, but I want your item, NOW GIVE IT TO ME!"

Malik frowned, "I'm not going to give my rod to some white haired baka!"

Ryou put his hands on his hips, Malik smiled, "Oh, no offense Ryou."

Bakura laughed and pressed the button, and it wasn't long till he got the second rod.

Bakura then turned to his hikari, "OOOOOOHHHH RYOUUUUUUUUU!"

Ryou rolled his eyes, "Yes?"

"Hey, you know when you said if I called you, you'd get me what I want, right?"

Ryou nodded, "Yes, I did."

"So, may I have your ring?"

"BUT YOU HAVE ONE ALREADY!"

"I know, but I want another."

"Greedy baka."

"What did you call me?"

"Nothing."

"Yes, I hope you didn't. NOW GIVE ME YOUR RING! Heh, ain't I so evil?"

He zapped Ryou and took his ring. He layed back on his bed and let out a sigh, "Ah, this is perfect, I've nearly electrocuted the pharaoh to his death, his hikari's all swirly eyed, both Marik and Malik are concussed, and... my hikari's giving me the Ra-damned evils! What the hell is up with you Ryou!"

"I WANT MY RING BACK! Hang on..."

He took out one of Malik's knives he had kept during the knive throwing torture and began to cut himself free, Bakura gasped.

"NOOOOOOO! YOU MUST NOT SUCCEED IN YOUR PLANS OF JUSTICE!"

Ryou fell onto the floor and stood next to Bakura.

"Ring, now."

Bakura let out a laugh, "Oh how did this get here! I'm ever so sorry Ryou!"

He gave Ryou his ring then took out the millenium rod, it began to glow.

"You will obey your master, tombrobber Bakura, your yami in fact, you will do as I say, when I say.."

"Yes master Bakura..."

Yugi, who had now regained his proper eyes, gasped, "NO RYOU! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!"

"Too late mini pharaoh! Ryou! I command you to erm... oh what the hell!"

He threw the dagger of the millenium rod, it sliced through Yugi's hair, the tombrobber roared with laughter.

"YOU HAVE A SLICE IN YOUR HAIR!"

Yami suddenly snapped out of his paralysis and stared, dumbfounded, "YUGI!WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR!"

"BAKURA SLICED IT!" Yugi wailed.

Yami turned his head to the grinning tombrobber.

"Ryou! Take the items away from him!"

Bakura laughed once more, "You fool! He will not listen to you! He is my mind slave!"

"That's sick tombrobber! You can't find any people to be on your side so you mind control your own hikari!"

Bakura nodded, "That's right isn't it Ryou?"

Ryou turned to his yami, his eyes lifeless, "Yes master..."

"What do we think about the pharaoh hikari?"

"He is a decaying baka..."

"Correct! Ahh... you're such a smart hikari, compared to that petite thing you call Yugi, who's brain must be half the size of yours."

"You will regret insulting my hikari's brain tombrobber!""

"Oh WILL I now! Seeing as you're up there, I'd like to see you try..."

"Grrrrr..."

"Bad dog! Don't contradict your master!"

"Hah! Like you'll ever be my master! If you were the pharaoh there would be no Egypt!"

"You filthy baka! I would be the ultimate pharaoh!"

"Yeah, after another millenia..."

"I HEARD THAT!"

"I'm glad you did."

"Hmph!"

"Now, now tombrobber, there's no need to get in a stress..."

Bakura looked up at the clock in his room and clasped his hands together.

"Oh goody! It's time to discuss world domination!"

The two blonde Egyptians snapped out of their concusion and stared down at the tombrobber, Marik crossed his arms, "We won't discuss world domination unless you let us down!"

Everyone nodded, "Yeah!"

Bakura stared at his remote, his thumb hovering over the button, he sighed and pressed it, "Fine..."

Everyone crashed head first onto Bakura's floor, they all sat up, moaning and rubbing their heads.

Bakura took out a card and murmed something, everyone was then bound by chains.

"Ryou! Get back our items!" Marik shouted, Bakura laughed once more, twirling the millenium rod round his fingers, "You dumb blonde, can't you see! I have mind controlled Ryou with your rod now I can command him to do as I please! MUWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!"

Malik gave an understanding nod, "That's one of your best ideas yet Bakura!"

Bakura smiled, giving his friend the thumbs up, "I'm glad you like it. Now then, I've let you down so now you must talk about world domination with me!"

He looked round at the several groaning people infront of him, pleased that he was making them suffer.

"B-Bakura? Could you please do something about Ryou? He looks kinda' scary standing there like that..."

Bakura turned his attention to the pharaoh's hikari, then rolled his eyes before turning to his own.

"Ryou, get me a drink of water will you?"

Ryou turned to him, "Yes master..."

Bakura watched as he left the room, then turned back to the small boy.

"There, I've gotten rid of him for you."

Yugi nodded thankfully and began to stare out of the window.

Malik began to pout, "I want to talk about world domination! I want my rod back too!"

Bakura gasped and mumbled something else, Malik was then free from the chains, he stood up.

"Please may I have my rod back?"

"Yes. But, first you must do something for me..."

"What?"

"Can you give me some ideas for world domination? You see, I'm writing a book about it..."

"Cool, what's it called?"

"Uh... world domination?"

"Can I have a look at what you've written?"

"Sure, it's on the desk over there."

Malik walked over to the desk and picked up a sheet of paper, he held it up. "Bakura..."

Bakura smiled proudly, whilst stroking the millenium puzzle, "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeessssss?"

"You've only written five lines..." Malik replied, staring at the paper.

Bakura nodded, no trace of concern in his voice, "I know, each line says about a different way to cause world domination, and each idea is a chapter, so I've now written five chapters, aren't I the best?"

"Yep... it's just that..."

"What! What have I done wrong! Please! Tell me!"

"Well... everything!"

"P-Pardon?..."

"W-Well ...I- er..."

Malik watched as the tombrobber held back tears, "You've gotta' help me Malik! I want to write a book, and the worst thing is, I don't even know why!"

The assain put a finger to his chin, "How about an autobiography?"

"An auto by what?"

"An autobiography baka, it's where you write a book about yourself, from when you were born till this very day."

"Cool... pass me some paper!"

"Eh!"

"I want to write my autobiography thing!"

"Whatever... can I read your torture books?"

"Go ahead!"

Ryou then entered the room,

"Where shall I put it?"

"Oh, just place it on my bedside table."

"Yes master..."

A sudden grin formed upon the tombrobber's lips at the sight of his hikari...

/Oh PHARAOH/

/What is it tombrobber/

/The oh so wonderful tombrobber has thought of another torture/

/Go on.../

/We could mind control Marik aswell as Ryou and get them to chase little Yugi/

/Brilliant! But, I have a catch.../

/Awww.../

/If you want to do the torture... GIVE ME BACK MY RA-DAMNED PUZZLE/

/Ok! But I have a catch too.../

/Eh/

/I have to be pharaoh./

/NO WAY/

/yes way/

/Tombrobber. If you EVER try to steal my position again, you will have to live the rest of your life in.../

/If you're going to say the shadow realm there's no point./

/No. I was about to say the bathtub.../

/AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! THE DREADED BATHTUB/

/I knew you'd hate that.../

/Alright! You can have your puzzle back/

/Then it's a deal, except, I have another favour of you.../

/Now what is it pharaoh/

/You must free us all from this chamber of horrors you call your bedroom./

/Deal! Hey... my room hasn't got any horrors in it.../

/Then it must be 'chamber of THE horror./

/Heh, now that's more like it/

The tombrobber's eyes travelled across the room, brown eyes met crimson.

"Well tombrobber?"

The white haired boy raised an eyebrow before freeing Marik, Yami and Yugi from their chains.

Within the blink of an eye, the two hikaris had shot out of the room, whereas the pharaoh sat on a nearby chair opposite Bakura.

"Excellent plan for the torture Bakura."

"Well what did you expect! I AM the ultimate tombrobber after all..."

"Tombrobber, you know lies never get you anywhere."

"Hmph!"

"That's it, go sulk like the wittle baby you are."

"I'm not a-"

"Is it nap time already!"

"PHARAOH!"

"Or would you like your dummy?"

"Grr..."

"Oh...Kura'! You have a book on Egyptian spells here! Not only that but... it has heiroglyphics saying: Property of Preist Mahado! How the hell'd you get that!"

Maliik questioned, flicking curiousy through the pages.

Yami gasped, "Bakura! You killed him the day you invaded my palace!"

The tombrobber grinned sheepishly, "I know! I decided to take a look through his stuff, and I found some pretty interesting books on spells 'n stuff. PLUS! That was the day I invaded not just your palace, but your father's tomb! I found all of this..."

Yami watched as the tombrobber peered over the side of his bed, "Ryou! Get out that box covered in heiroglyphics."

"Oh Ra..." Yami did not like the sound of this, nevertheless, he watched Ryou take out the box and plop it on Bakura's lap.

Bakura opened it like a five year old at christmas and looked inside for a moment.

"Aha!"

He took out four jars, each one had one of the gods on the lid. Carefully, he opened it, before slamming it shut.

"OH RA THAT SMELL IS DISGUSTING!"

Yami frowned,

"Tombrobber. Those had better not be my fathers canopic jars..."

"Heh, um... they might be!"

"TOMBROBBER! YOU DISGUSTING B-"

"Hey! No bad language pharaoh..."

"Fine! Baka then."

"What on earth made you steal them!"

"Iwantedtosellthemontheblackmarket."

"Eh?"

"I. Wanted. To. Sell. Them. On. The. Black. Market."

"YOU WHAT!"  
"I wanted to-"

"Oh just forget it!"

"Ok!"

Bakura passed the canopic jars to Yami,

"Here... I um... think you'll have to look after them..."

Yami stared at them in his hands as if they were bombs, a trickle of sweat rolling down the side of his face.

"B-Bakura, we need to go to Egypt, and fast."

The tombrobber stared at him.

"Why!"

Yami looked to him anxiously,

"On the day my father was put in his tomb, I commanded one of the high Preists to lay a curse on all his treasures, such as his canopic jars, the Preist told me that whoever stole any of the treasures would get the curse."

"Eeep... so,what's the curse do?"

"I don't know..."

"Fantastic! I've got a curse yet we don't know what it is!"

"Don't worry Bakura, I know how we can end the curse..."

"I'm listening."

"You must return the treasures to my father's tomb."

"WHAT! You're telling me to get rid of all the treasures! But they're so nice, plus they'll get us good money!"

"Bakura. It's the only way."

"Fine... but one question, how are we going to get to Egypt?"

"I don't know..."

The remaining two non-mindcontroled hikari's were sitting in Marik's room, discussing what they had just over heard between the pharaoh and the tombrobber.

/Oh dear, now what are we going to do Marik/

/Marik/

/I want to go home.../

/But you are home/

/I MISS EGYPT! WAAAAAAAAA/

Yugi watched the tears roll down Marik's face, he found this bizzare, Marik never cried. He was usually the tough person in the group. He gave him a hug.

/Don't cry Marik.../

/But I miss my home/

/Well, by the sounds of it, you will be going back home./

Yugi stopped hugging him then watched as the Egyptian's eyes travelled across his family's portraits.

"I WANT TO GO HOME!"

He screamed punching his bed, Yugi grabbed his wrists to stop him.

"Calm down Marik, you'll see them again."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

(End chapter)

Mai: Aww! Bless lil' Marik!

Bakura: Amazing, you've finally updated.

Yugi: ALL HAIL ME! I AM YOUR LEADER! REPEAT AFTER ME! ALL HAIL YUGI! I DO GREAT THINGS WITH YAMI! ALL HAIL YUGI!

(The room is silent as a ball of tumbleweed passes and a gentle wind blows.)

Mai: Right... Don't forget to review my wonderful readers!

Yugi: REVIEW ME FOR THE WONDERFUL THINGS I DO! ALL HAIL ME AND THE HEART OF THE C- MEEP!

Mai: GET OUT OF MY STORY!

Yugi: You only had to ask nicely.

Mai: Idiot... please review and I'll see you in the next chappy of 'Yamis of Torture'!

(Yugi walks way with a long chain that has Yami on the end of it.)

Mai: O-kay...

PLEASEREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW!


	9. Chapter 9: TBFKATID

Yamis of Torture.

Mai: Hello, and welcome back to the insane yet wonderful world that could only be, 'Yamis of Torture'. Many many apologies to you all my oh so fantastic readers, who I wouldn't have gotten far in the world of fanfictions without you, or your devotion and support by simply reviewing. I'm really grateful and understand what a pain it is if an author/authoress is for some reason, unable to update as quick as expected.

Bakura/sits there with cobwebs all over him/ Wow... you've finally decided to update... Normally I'd send people to the shadow realm for this-

Mai: MEEP!

Bakura: BUT... seeing as you are a very strange minded being, who unfortunatly controls my life in this fanfiction for her own evil wishes, I've decided to spare you.

Mai: Well, I guess we REALLY have to get a move on with the thank yous.

Bakura: Please do, there's a spider in my ear...

**S.Chensu and Luff: **My dear friends, well, soz for the late update. (I know you'll probably nag at me about it after reading this...) And I'm very sorry that you suffer from 'brown underwear syndrom' Chen, it's not MY fault... heh, erm...

Anyway, like I said, these chapters were written a long LONG time ago, (about two-three years ago) and back then, my writing wasn't the best it could be, so hopefully it may have inproved. Of course, only the readers can decide that, not me. As for your question on the fluff... well, I'm afraid you'll have to read this chappy.

**AnimeLoverAngel: **Good to see you like the yamixhikari coules, because with this story, you're in luck! Thanks for reading and keep reviewin' please!

**Atemu's Lover: **You haven't seen long chapters yet. Trust me... and unless you intend on sitting infront of a computer screen for hours, well, it's long chapters you'll get! Sorry for making you wait so long, I take it you're pretty eager to see what happens next in this bizzare tale. Well wait no more! Here's the next chappy!

**hikari and sunny: **It's nice to see you noticed the way I prefer to not have all angsty tales, nah, I like a lil' bit of humour, it adds nicely to the recipe of a fanfiction. (Ok, I'm saying very strange stuff today...) But anyway, like I've said, with my characters, I keep part of their true personality, but add a little extra in aswell. So, like Ryou isn't all as the t.v show think he is, (a poor vunerable guy who tends to make trouble for himself) and later on you'll see what I mean with Ryou in particular, seeing as you like him, he'll be cute still though! Thanks for the review!

**PeaceSeeker: **HEYA! Ahem, thankies for waiting, I promise we'll finish reading your chappy soon so you can put it up! I can tell the story's plot went at little haywire at the beginning, so it's being fixed now. Er, well... thanks for reviewing!

**KivaEmber: **Hmm... I think you're a new reviewer, I may be wrong. Oh well, thank you for joining us! It's nice to see how people like to see poor little teens getting tortured by their dark sides. Hehe... anyway, thank you for your review! (The bathtub makes it's second appearence in this chappy!)

**Hawk-EVB: **I agree with you, it's no suprise my sis' would hit me for electrocuting Yami... hehe... She did when she found out. It hurts when a rabid midget attacks you... And the jars were indeed unpleasant, sorry if I made you feel a bit ill after that, heh... whoops...

**Yami Nightmare Magician: **Erm, hope your Yami hasn't hurt you too badly since you reviewed. I'd hate for my reviewers to sudenly disappear... Well, anyway, if you have survived, please read my chappy and review! Thanks for your last review aswell!

Mai: Ok, we are done. Remember I-

Bakura: AHEM!

Mai: Take it away Bakura.

Bakura: Heh, ok. Mai does not own Yu-Gi-Oh!. Thank you.

Mai: Remember to read and review peeps!

**Chapter Nine: The bath, formally known as the iron deathtrap.**

The atmosphere seemed more calm in the Yami and Hikari household and Yugi had now managed to calm his blonde friend down. Yugi was busy outside with his dark side as they had some peace and quiet.(whilst the tombrobber couldn't walk that is) Yami sighed, staring up at the sky in dissaproval as a bird hovered over them, excriting just near his prized studded birds.

"DAMN THE BIRD!"

Yugi patted him on the shoulder, "Ok Yami... the bird DIDN'T get your shoe. You are safe." He stared wide eyed as the bird circled back round in the sky, a white blob landing on his own shoe. "DAMN THAT STUPID BIRD! KILL IT I SAY!"

Yami could only sit and stare, crinkling his nose,

"Now that's just nasty..."

Ryou sat at the side of his yami's bed, staring down at the floor while swinging his feet. Earning a confused look from the other, "Hey, what's wrong Ryou? I'm alive and well, so there's no need to worry right?" Bakura shifted about, wincing suddenly. "See...? I'm aw shi- Ahem... 'Damn'."

The hikari seemed unimpressed, twirling strands of white hair around his finger, "Hmm, if you say so..." Brown eyes looked up at the tombrobber, "Then again, you have a decision, I could use my shadow powers to heal you... Or..." He smiled slyly, "You can continue to fake the pain and lay in bed suffering for the next... two weeks at least?"

Bakura frowned, raising an eyebrow, "Do I look like I have a choice?"

Ryou smiled and leant over his bed, "Ok then, shirt off."

"I beg your pardon?" The tombrobber laughed manicaly, "Ohh... I get it! You just wanna' see me naked! Oh Ryou you sneaky little- OW!"

"That's not it, stupid!" Ryou said, "Look, I can't heal clothes!"

"No, but you wanna' touch me up..." Bakura mused, "Well, if you insist." He sat up slowly, pushing his shirt of his shoulders, "There, shirt gone for your viewing delight." He leant back as Ryou clenched his fists,

"Don't make me go put you through more pain mister..."

Bakura laughed nervously, raising his hands, "O-ok, just go do the healin' thingy now... please?"

The hikari stood there for a second, then nodded, bending down, "All you need to do is lay there ok? So, where does it hurt most?"

The tombrobber smirked harder, pointing to his lower regions, "Some healin' down there wouldn't be so bad, come to think of it."

The other flushed, "KURA!" He sighed, "Now why do you think I'd even go NEAR there!"

"Because I'm irresistable."

"No, just sexually frustrated..." Ryou murmed.

Bakura stared wide eyed, "OOOOOO! Somebody's gettin' a lil' uptight today! So NOW who's the frustrated one! Honestly Ryou, I didn't think you were that type!"

"Think what you want, but I'm only helping you because I have to." Ryou said. "Besides, your constant complaining does get very annoying."

"How about I moan instead? You'd like that..."

"KURA!" Ryou sighed heaily, running a hand through his hair, "What would it matter anyway... you'd never listen to me... Look, just be quiet ok? The sooner I do this, the sooner you can get out of bed."

"Must I?" Bakura whined, "It was starting to get comfy."

Ryou looked up in thought, sitting back down beside him, "Erm... you could annoy Yami?"

"Deal!" The tombrobber leant back, "Ok Ryou, do your stuff!"

The hikari nodded, placing his hands over the other's torso.

"DAMN YOU BIRD! DIE!"

Ryou rolled his eyes as he turned away from the window, "Interesting..." He closed his eyes, Bakura staring in awe as his light's hands began to glow white, "Oooh... does the light come in black too?" His hikari wasn't listening, a few white bangs floating mysteriously as he concentrated. The tombrobber looked down at his stomach, then back to his light. Where he was washed with a wave of confusion. Up untill now, the way he'd seen Ryou had been the same, but now... he seemed more... 'angelic'... in a sense, and he'd only just realised how much he actually depended on his light, as strange as it sounded. Maybe at times Ryou wasn't exactly the brightest person, having looked back on a few humorous moments at the Duelist Kingdom, but still, Ryou was his undisputed light, no doubt about it. Over time Bakura seemed to have gotten used to his hikari's rare moments of stupidity, often tripping up, or stepping into the occasional lampost when daydreaming, but that was Ryou for you.

Laughing under his breath, Bakura sighed, stretching his arms before turning to his hikari. "Hmm?"

Ryou blinked, "Sorry, I should've told you... Im finished now. You can go. Speaking of leaving, I'd better let you get on with what you're doing, you said it yourself, you're a busy guy." He smiled before getting up to leave.

"Hey, wait!" Bakura called, reaching his hand out.

Ryou stopped, peering over his shoulder, "Hmm?"

The tombrobber remained silent, looking in the opposite direction, "Erm... I- thanks..."

The hikari smiled back, "No problem. Just don't go getting youself injured like that again. You know, you actually had me worried there..."

Bakura raised his eyebrows, nodding slowly, "Well... sorry, I guess." He smirked as his light left.

"Woah... nice ass..."

He made an 'eep' sound as Ryou poked his head back round the door, "Sorry, did you say something 'Kura?"

Bakura laughed nervously, backing away, "No, not at all! Heh, um, you'd better check on Marik and Malik, they're very- erm, irresponsible. You know what I mean? They could wreak havoc in a matter of seconds!"

"I suppose." Ryou said, "Well, I'd better get going then!"

The tombrobber smiled slyly, twirling his hair round a finger, "You certainly had." He stared with his mouth agape, "But Ra, that ass is just askin' for a squeeze! Which I would be more than happy to do..."

Meanwhile, in the living room...

"Hey! No fair!"

Marik pouted as his yami stole the remote from him, "Malik! Dont be mean! That was mine!"

"No way, blondie!"

"Looks who's talkin'!" The tombkeeper mused.

Malik pulled a sour face, getting up out of his seat, "Fine." Marik blinked up at him, smiling as the remote was dropped onto his lap, "But don't think you've won Marik!"

"YAY! I WON!" The other blonde cheered, dancing around his yami, "Can't touch this! Nananananana can't touch this! Haha!"

Malik rolled his eyes, "You've got some big ego there..."

"I know!" Marik said, "Oh yeah! Who's da man! Dododo, GO ME!"

"Whatever..." The assasin mumbled, striding off into the kitchen.

"HEY!" The tombkeeper called, "Malik...!" He pouted, hugging the remote, "Oh well!" Marik sighed and flopped back down onto the sofa with a half hearted laugh, switching the television back on after his yami had gotten fed up with the current channel they were watching.

Malik frowned, opening the kitchen door and staring out at the garden, wheree Yugi was chasing a bird while thrashing his arms about madly, an anxious look on his yami's face. The assasin shrugged the thought off, reaching for a cupboard door.

"Stop right there!"

"Hmm...?" Malik looked over his shoulder, "Who paged the idiot brigade?"

(A.N: Wonderful quote from the Fruits Basket manga by Hatsuharu.)

The yami laughed nervously, something told him by the look in Ryou's eyes... that was a bad move...

BANG!

Yugi gasped as the bird flew away in sudden fright, (as if the light hadn't scared it enough) turning to the kitchen, his yami wore the same look, "Should we... take a look?"

Yami's face had paled almost immediatly having heard the sound, "Erm..." He waved a hand at the other, "You just go chase that bird!" He paused, noticing his light's sad look.

"It went away..."

The Pharaoh glared at the sky, raising a fist, "OK BIRD! YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE TO COME BACK DOWN HERE, OR SELSE I'M GOING TO GO UP AND GET YOU MYSELF!"

"How you gonna' do that!" Bakura called, poking his head out of his bedroom window, "Pigs can't fly remember!"

"WELL IF A BIRD DECIDED TO SHIT ON YOUR HEAD NOBODY WOULD NOTICE BECAUSE IT'S WHITE!" Yami yelled back.

Yugi whimpered as he stared down at his beloved shoe, "And brown..."

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Yeah whatever, anyway, did you hear that bang!"

"Who didn't!" Yami said, "Personally, I'm not going to find out what happened..."

"Hmm..." The tombrobber nodded slowly, "I'll go check it out then..." He turned away from the window and left his room, heading down the staircase...

"Ooohhhhhh... this is NOT good..." Marik said, "Not good at a-"

"Will you just be quiet!" Ryou snapped, "Look, it's fine, we could pretend Malik slipped over or something!"

"On what genius?" The blonde replied, he looked down at his yami, his unconcious figure sprawled out along the kitchen floor, "A banana peel! Oh VERY funny! Just what did you do to him anyway!"

"Hey Ryou, I heard the bang so I thought I'd come and check on y- WHAT THE HECK!"

Ryou yelped in suprise as he heard his yami's voice, "B-Bakura! Oh, this? We're as confused as you are! You know, we were just watching tv and-"

The tombkeeper gulped, "Ryou did it!"

"Marik!" Ryou hissed.

Bakura smirked in amusement, leaning against the kitchen doorframe, "Ryou?"

His light put his hands behind his back, "Yes...?"

"What happened? And I want the truth."

Ryou smiled weakly, looking down at the unconcious assasin, "Erm, is 'Malik annoyed me I thumped him in the face, he flew into the cupboards and was knocked out' acceptable?"

The tombrobber just stared in amazement, "Er... well, if it's the truth... yeah!"

His hikari nodded slowly in reply, making Bakura run up to him, hugging him tightly, "Awww! I'm so proud of you! My wonderful little hikari defeated Malik! Of all people!"

"Yeah, that's great 'Kura..." Ryou winced, "But, can you loosen your grip please? You know, I'll need to breath in a second."

"It can wait!" Bakura replied. "Ahh... finally I can prove my hikari isn't afraid to hurt people, the bliss of it all, it's soothing in a way..."

"Let go of me before you end up like Malik..." Ryou scowled. "Because not even my shadow powers would heal those injuries..."

Marik grinned in satisfaction, this was much better than t.v, even if he did now have complete control over it. He just didn't want to be in Malik's condition at this moment, because even he, as the typical blonde, could tell the pain the yami would be going through when he woke up...

There came a 'tut' sound from near the kitchen door, where Yami stood, "Who did this then? Marik...?"

The tombkeeper frowned, putting his hands on his hips with an outraged look on his face, "Oh that's right 'Pharaoh' always blame me! Just because I tried to take over the world once before, you think I'll try it again! So you decide to instantly look to me when there's trouble!"

"Marik, I-"

"NO!" The blonde held his hand out infront of the other, "I don't wanna hear it mister! You just go accusin' everybody, after all, you can do whatever you want can't you! Uptight baka, get that stick out of your ass!"

Yami narrowed his eyes, folding his arms, "If you must know, I usually turn to Bakura first, then Malik, you're the lucky third."

"I feel so honoured..." Bakura mused, "See, I know you like me REALLY..."

"Not really, no." The Pharaoh mumbled, "So, who did it then! Come on, you can't keep me here waiting all day!"

"No, he's very impatient you see." The Tombrobber said, "It's almost his nap time."

"Just shut up." Yami snapped, making the other laugh, "Right, tell me OR ELSE."

Bakura sighed, "Well, if you insist. Ryou managed to send Malik flying and knock him out."

"Hmn... wait- RYOU DID!" The Pharaoh gulped, turning on his heel, "Well, that's nice.. but, I have to go now... Hey Ryou, have I ever said what good cooking you have? Yes, it's brilliant! Heh, well, bye!"

An odd silence filled the room, but was disrupted with an outburst of laughter from the tombrobber, who gripped his light's shoulder, wiping away tears, "I can't believe it! He's actually scared of you!"

Ryou raised an eyebrow, "Strangely enough... yes... You know, this could prove to be very amusing."

"I agree." The tombrobber said. He stared down at his hand, taking it away suddenly, "Er, anyway, I have to sort something out, so I'll be on my way now. Bye!"

"That fails to suprise me." The hikari mumbled.

Bakura nodded, swiftly making his way out into the back garden after the Pharaoh.

Now slightly bored, Marik looked around him, "Hmmm... you two are getting on a lot better now aren't you? Ever since Battle City I mean." Ryou didn't answer for a second, turning his back to the other, "I suppose we have... well, we're talking a lot more now. Back then Bakura hated my guts."

The tombkeeper shook his head, folding his arms, "Not true!"

"Huh?" The white haired hikari frowned, "What do you mean by that? Has 'Kura told you anything about me?"

The blonde sighed heavily, resting his arm on the other's shoulder, "Ah... I see. You don't remember what happened in your duel against Yugi, do you?" He paused for a moment, noticing the other's curious look, "Because I was wanting to get my body back after Malik had stolen it, I entered your body with Bakura. As he was dueling in your place, I was helping him, and so at one point, I got a little too eager to win."

Ryou blinked,"Then what?"

Marik took his arm away, leaning against the kitchen units, "I decided that because of your arm injury, if Bakura let you take over you'd be too weak, and so Yami wouldn't be able to use his Egyptian god. Of course, Bakura was against the idea, so I used my millenium item to let you come out. And so you did."

"That was painful though..." The other whined.

"Heh, yeah... it looked it..." The tombkeeper mused, "But anyway, Yami began to panic, knowing the risk it would put you in if he were to attack. Strangely enough, Bakura was with Yami on this one, then he took control again so that you wouldn't be killed. It was kinda' sweet actually."

Ryou stood there for a moment narrowing his eyes, "But... why didn't he ever tell me about that?"

Marik blinked waving his hands suddenly, "Hey, I never said he wasn't GOING to tell you, I mean, he's probably forgotten about all that!" He paused, slapping a hand to his forhead, "NO! I didn't mean that either! Of course he would remember! Look, just don't think about it too much ok? You're head'll start to hurt, and besides, Bakura's a distant guy, he doesn't like people knowing things like that. They're kinda' personal for him you know?" He smiled, hugging the other, "And being the rebellious dude he is, 'Kura doesn't want people hearing about his little mushy moment over his sweet little hikari."

"Marik, I'm not that much smaller than 'Kura."

"I know, but-" The blonde pouted, stomping a few steps away from him, "Hmph! Ryou, you totally ruined my dramatic speech there, and I had a good flow going too!" He sighed, shaking his head irritably, "Honestly! I cannot believe people these days..."

Ryou now stood there while Marik flounced off into the living room to watch some t.v. He stared wide eyed down a the assasin, "Marik... what should we do about Malik!"

The blonde waved a hand up in the air, "You're mess, you clean it up!"

"Thanks..." The hikari folded his arms, turning to look up at the ceiling, "Maybe I should just leave him here... But I guess he's pretty much in the way right now, however, he's rather big for me to carry by myself..." He paused to think, coming to a simple conclusion, "I'll ask 'Kura and see what he thinks."

The tombrobber ran up to Yami, who turned round upon hearing his feet, "What are you doing here Bakura? I thought you'd be indoors."

"Well you thought wrong." Bakura screwed his face up, "Look, Yami... I really need your advice now."

"Can't it wait!" Yami could not explain, but pointed over to his light, who was being chased by a flock of rabid birds.

"AIEE! KEEP AWAY YOU FIENDS! YAMI YOU BAKA! DO SOMETHING!"

"See?" The Pharaoh sighed, "Look, I'm really busy, poor Yugi's getting a little bit carried away with the abuse yelling." However, despite his last sentence, the other did not move, a hellish smirk spread across his face, "You know, if I didn't know any better I'd say you're about to get carried away aswell."

Yami blinked, yelping in suprise as he was thrown over the other's shoulder, "HOW RUDE! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!"

For as long as the hikari could spare, Yugi stopped, "HEY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TAKING HIM!"

Bakura simple waved a hand, turning on his heel, "Sorry runt, gotta' run! Me and your yami have some important matters to discuss."

Yugi pouted, stomping his foot in rage, "YOU NEED PERMISSION TO DO THAT DUDE! I DEMAND YOU GIVE HIM BACK!" He paled as a blob of white landed infront of him, turning round, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ryou lept away from the back door as it slammed open, "Hey, 'Kura-"

Bakura just shot him a glance then turned to leave, the Pharaoh shrugged as he was taken away, "Don't ask me!" He called.

The hikari watched as they left, narrowing his eyes down at the unconcious assasin on the floor, "Figures... you're always so busy you never even have time to help me. But you have all the time in the world to speak to Yami..." He went towards the back door getting knocked to the ground shortly afterwards.

Ryou winced and looked up at the Pharaoh's hikari, who laughed nervously, "Erm, sorry Ry-"

"Just get off me..." Ryou scowled, smiling suddenly, "Please?"

Yugi grinned, "Wanna' duel?"

"NO!"

The shorter teen pouted, making a circle with his finger on the floor as he clambered off the other, "Not even one...?"

"NO ALRIGHT!" Ryou snapped, he sighed, ruffling his friend's hair, "Look, I just need to think... alone."

Yugi nodded slowly, "Sure..." His eyes widened and he lept up to get Ryou, "WAIT! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! THE BIRDS!"

The other hikari paled as he was tackled to the floor again, blobs of white splattering all over the window, "Er... thanks..." He got back up onto his feet, quickly leaving the kitchen. However, Yugi was quite proud of himself and stood to attention as a soldier would. He saluted to nobody, before turning to the door, "HAHA! NO BIRD SHALL TOUCH... THE YUGI!"

It seemed the tombkeeper was completely unaware of his surroundings, he looked up, blinking, "Hmmm..." He paused for a moment, getting up. "Wow, hi Yugi!"

The smaller one beemed up at him innocently, "Guess what?"

Marik raised an eyebrow, folding his arms, "What?"

Yugi grinned, raising his index finger, "I, Yugi Muto, am invincible!"

"Great..."

"Isn't it?" The light said, "I knew YOU'D understand, Marik!" With a slight hum the smaller teen skipped away swinging his arms, "Oh yeah, I'm in-vin-ci-ble baby! I-N-V-I-N-C-I-B-L-E!"

Marik just shook his head in disbelief, "Yes... but wait untill I knock you down... M-I-D-G-E-T."

"YEAH! DAT'S ME!" Yugi cheered, A M-I-D-G-E-T HEY! MIDGET!"

"You said it yourself." The tombkeeper replied.

The other shrugged his shoulders, continuing his little skip, "What-EVER dude!"

Marik remained silent, running a hand through blonde tresses, "It's hard being me... But this is for you my loving fans!"

"YO DUDE!" Yugi yelled, now a tiny speck in the distance, "YOU'VE WATCHED TOO MUCH T.V!"

The blonde winked slyly, clearing his throat, "Well, it's hello and goodbye for now peeps. This is Marik Ishtar, reporting for you from the Yami and Hikari house. Stayed tuned for more live insight of the lifestyle here as we go on to Yami and Bakura!"

Bakura frowned as he dropped the Pharaoh down in his own room before looking up to take in his surroundings. One way to describe what he was seeing was that Yami knew how to make himself feel royal... Long crimson curtains draped down the sides of his large window, overseeing the back garden. The walls were a sandy gold colour, with hieroglyphics inked on. Bakura snorted at this, eyes widened however, his soul melting at the solid gold figures and various other treasures that were neatly placed around the room, his legs went limp as he fell to his knees, taking in this wonderous sight before him.

"Pretty gold, so shiny... AND ALL MINE MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!"

Yami sighed, brushing himself off as he got up on his feet, rolling his eyes, "No, MY pretty gold."

"MINE DAMMIT!" The tombrobber snapped, a wicked glint in his eyes as he grabbed the other's shirt, bringing him down so they were eye level, "'Tis MY gold... all mine... you won't take it... no one will... no one... I'll be forever ruler of Egypt 'N KICK YOUR CRIPPLED ASS!"

"CRIPPLED!" Yami puffed his cheeks up, placing his hands on his hips.

Bakura smirked grabbing the other's rear as he pulled him onto his lap, "Yes, this thing." He smiled slyly as he held onto the Pharaoh, "Your royal little bottom shall be kicked... brutally."

"HOW RUDE!" Yami said, wriggling about in the tombrobber's grip, "Unhand me at once, you evil fiend!"

(A.N: Ok, I know two people, one who happens to be my sister, or Yami, and our friend Chen, whom we know well to be Bakura. We tend to think the YamixBakura relationship is quite funny, and so Chen likes to scare my sis with rude jokes to freak her out. And it works! These soul people are the inspiration to this scene in which you are reading right now, so thankies Yugi 'n Chen!)

Bakura laughed under his breath, nuzzling into Yami's neck, "Not yet, we need to talk..."

"No! Why should I speak to you!"

"One word. Yugi."

"Alright! I'll talk!" Tha Pharaoh pouted, looking away from the other, "But make it quick, I can't sit here all day."

Bakura smiled, ruffling his hair, "Alright, look, I need your help..."

"Help?"

"Yeah, in the... well... I think I kinda' like this person... but I'm not sure whether I-"

"AAAAAAWWWWWWW! HOW SWEET!" Yami cooed, "The tombrobber's in love!"

"Shut up." Bakura scowled, "I just need you to give me some advice, I mean, how can I tell them... you know?"

Yami looked up in thought, "First of all. Who is she?"

The tombrobber wore a blank look, "I... er... eh?"

"Who.Is.She? You know, who you fancie? Ra don't tell me it's one of those sluts down town..! Bakura!"

"No! Just shut up! Help me or suffer, your choice."

Yami frowned in thought, "Well, I don't know... All I can say is don't rush, you may put her off."

"Oh... ok!"

"Now let me go." The Pharaoh said, "You have no need to be holding me."

Bakura smirked, stroking the other's hair, "Oh but I MUST..."

"No way lover-boy, first you need to tell me who they are."

"Who!"

"Your lil' crush..." Yami cooed, pinching one of his cheeks, "Bless, the tombrobber's in love..."

"Whatever." Bakura got up, still holding the other in his grip, "You'd better watch what you say 'pharaoh', because you'll fall soon enough."

Yami seemed confused by the other's remark, screaming as he was dropped onto the floor. "THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR MISTER!"

"No, I dropped by for some advice, that's all. But if you really want me to stay..." He added, grabbing the other's chin, "I'd be more than happy to keep you occupied for the next hour or so."

"No thank you." Yami scowled, "Now if you don't mind, the door is behind you. Make use of it."

Bakura rolled his eyes at the shorter one's simplicity, "Seeing as you're FAR too lazy to get off your arse and do it yourself, I'll be more than happy to oblige... Your 'Majesty'."

"Do not use that tone with me. Now LEAVE. Your presence annoys me somewhat."

"And your posh talk is annoying me somewhat. Get a reality check your 'Majesty', the Pharaoh days are long gone, and your attitude really pisses me off."

Yami raised an eyebrow at him with a slight smile, "Are you finished now?"

Bakura inhaled deeply, stamping his foot, "Yes." He nodded, turning swiftly as he made his way down the corridor. Swinging his arms the tombrobber went along humming a slight tune under his breath. He stared up at the ceiling, yelping as a small figure crashed into him. Yugi just giggled up at him, giving him the peace sign, "Heya Bakura!"

Bakura blinked, "Goodbye midget..."

"I-N-V-I-N-C-I-B-L-E! I AM THE INVINCIBLE!" The other called behind him as he skipped away.

"Invincible...? Short, yes. Invincible with that cutsie attitude? No." The Tombrobber sighed, striding onwards to his random destination. Of course by the word 'random', he had no idea where he wanted to go.

Marik sprawled out across the sofa, grinning, "And that was Yami and Bakura in an unusual friendly discussion. Er, Ryou's buggered off somewhere, the 'invincible' Yugi is skipping and I, the sexy Marik Ishtar, am reporting for the world out there. Wow... I'm so great!"

"You're stupid for one thing."

Marik let out a 'eep!' as he noticed his yami standing in the doorway, "M-Malik! It's so great to see you, erm... conscious!"

Malik rolled his eyes, "Whatever... Where's Ryou?"

The tombkeeper narrowed his eyes, "Oh nooooo, you ain't goin' nowhere near Ryou!"

"I only need to-"

"NO!" Marik snapped, "You'll hurt him!"

The other began to get irritated, walking up to the blonde, "I'm not going to hurt him or speak to him, I was just asking you where he's gone to ever since he knocked me out."

"I-..." Marik bit his lower lip, "I dunno'... Yugi saw him a short while ago. But I was in here the whole time. He may be outside though..."

Malik furrowed his brow, "Hmm... I'm sure Bakura will find him, wherever he's ran off to."

Bakura paced on staring straight ahead of him. He slowed down as he came to his hikari's room, pushing the door open gently and peering inside. It seemed Ryou was spaced out, looking out of his window in an almost lifeless state. Bakura carefully made his way over to the light, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Ryou...?"

The hikari almost lept out of his skin, clutching onto the tombrobber suddenly. "Wha-...? Oh, it's just you 'Kura, I mean- well..."

"It's ok." Bakura said, sitting beside his light, "I just wanted to see how you were."

Ryou blinked as he was pulled onto the other's lap, "Huh? Oh, thank you..." He stared awkwardly at his yami as he wrapped his arms around him, bringing him closer. "Kura!"

"Yeeeees?" Bakura smiled to himself, lacing his fingers through silky white tresses.

"I-I... I'm fine, you can let go of me now, I was just sitting up here that's all."

The light paused as he came to terms that his yami wouldn't be releasing him just yet, instead he sighed peacefully, resting his head on the other's shoulder. "Kura... why are you doing this?"

Bakura did not reply for a short while, running a hand over the hikari's back and up to his shoulders, "Because... I feel like it... just stay here for a little while longer... please..."

Ryou raised his head, "But 'Kura-"

"I'm staying here, YOU'RE staying here. There, now that's settled! wow, it's amazing how easily we can decide on things isn't it?"

"If you say so..." The hikari mumbled.

There was a small giggling coming from the door, the pair turned their heads, the tombrobber's face flushing. "Yami! Clear off!"

"Why? You two look so cute!" Yami smiled, waving a hand, "It's ok, your secret's safe with me! But first..." His eyes flashed with an odd twinkle, "You're coming with me tombrobber!"

Bakura raised an eyebrow, "Oh really?" He retorted, "Why would I want to do that?"

The Pharaoh winked at him, "All will be explained soon enough. First I need to prepare you."

By now Ryou was very confused, eyes darting from one yami to the other, Bakura's face was blanched with fear as he let go of the light, backing up to the window.

"P-Prepare me?"

"Yes. For certain businesses that you shall participate in later dear tombrobber."

"OK! I'VE HEARD ENOUGH YOU SICK BAKA!"

It was Yami's turn to blush, clenching his fists, "I didn't mean it like that! Just come with me will you?"

"If I really have to..." Bakura grumbled, "Though I have MUCH better things to do."

Yami rolled his eyes, "It's only a little extra to help you on what we were discussing earlier."

Ryou sat there as his yami walked off, Yugi suddenly flying through the door, "Wow, what you talkin' about peeps? Huh huh? What are we talking about then?"

"I don't know." The white haired hikari replied, "I'm as confused as you are."

Yugi raised his hand, saluting, "But I'm not confused. I'm INVINCIBLE!"

"I see... It's happened to you aswell... this house... it makes you have a sudden urge to become completely crazy..." Ryou smiled at the other, "Well, I guess it can't be helped! But... it's so strange... how one's mind can be easily influenced into bizzare activities... like you have no control over the situation, you're just some spectator on the sidelines as people manipulate you and-"

"Ok. I think I get the point dude!" Yugi shrugged innocently, "Don't blame me, you're just too extreme for me. I'll leave you in your own lil' world."

"Yes..." Ryou replied, "You shall... while I sit here alone, pondering about various things in life... have fun..."

"Er... you too." Yugi said, quickly leaving the room.

The other hikari smiled to himself, "Indeed. I'll have fun thinking about a particular person..."

"THIS was your idea of preparation!" Bakura exclaimed, fear stricken.

Yami smiled, nodding his head, "Yep! Tombrobber, you're going to take a bath."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"And we are back in the Yami and Hikari house! I'm Marik Ishtar your host for today bringing you the lastest info on the folks here and other rare bits of information that all you budding fans could only dream of! But seeing as I'm such a nice guy, I'll let you know some stuff about me later on... should I say... the 'naked truth'?"

The two yamis wore a blank look, turning to the blonde sitting on the top of the toilet seat. (A.N- He's on the actual bit of the toilet you put down, the 'lid', not the toilet seat itself.)

"Er..." Yami frowned, "Marik, could you please go?"

Bakura nodded slowly, "I need to- erm, look, just go. I'm going through very hard times here. The last thing I need is you here making things even more stressfull."

Marik blinked at them, "So, what's up?"

"Bakura has to take a bath."

The blonde gave the Pharaoh an odd look, "Are you gonna' watch him? That's kinda' pervy for you isn't it?" He smiled slyly, folding his arms, "Oooooooh... so this is but one of your dark secrets Yugi was on about?"

Yami wore a puzzled (ha! millenium puzzle!) look, "Er... what's Yugi been saying to you!"

"Not much." Marik mumbled, "Well, nothing but all your times when you've broken down due to stress or depression. Hehe, you're such a drama queen... Or should I say, 'drama Pharaoh'?"

"That is neither humorous nor enlightning in any way, please leave, and take your ridiculous remarks with you."

The blonde smirked, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Calm down Pharaoh! At your age you really shouldn't get so worked up, I mean, you'll end up having a serious injury or something. A hair may fall out and the sudden loss of weight on your head may make you dizzy and knock you out cold! Or you may choke on dust! That must be VERY painful dude, I feel sorry for you."

Yami scowled at the tombkeeper, "Well seeing as you're blonde, what's the chance I'll end up getting injured before you?"

Marik seemed to have not heard the yami's last remark, turning to Bakura, "You should see Bakura as the perfect example for a healthy person at your age. He's even older than you yet you're the one who's crippling!" He shrugged afterwards, "But don't dwell on it too much ok? You know, whilst you still have hairs that is."

Bakura nodded with satisfaction, flicking his hair back, "I agree Marik... But the Pharaoh will never allow himself to look at me, my hot looks will melt his eyes in his sockets."

"But if I remember correctly, you wouldn't use your 'hot' looks on me would you?" Yami sneered.

This interested the blonde greatly, his eyes fixed on one yami, then the other, "Bakuraaaaaaa? Are you in love?"

The tombrobber wore a blank look, nodding slowly, "Yeeeeeeeeeees..."

Marik gasped, staring at the other with his mouth agape, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! That's so sweet! Is it possible that YOU fell in love? Of all people?"

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Whatever... Can you just go now? I need to get undressed... you know... for this strange mortal thing called a 'bath'? You too Yami."

Yami raised his eyebrows, turning the taps slowly, "What's the chance without me here you'd get in the bath willingly?"

"Erm..." Bakura glanced to the side, "I dunno'... it depends how I feel!"

"That's not acceptable, now strip." Yami said.

"Eeeeeeewwwww! Leave me alone perv!"

"I'm not a pervert, now strip."

Yugi suddenly poked his head through the bathroom door, "You're a pervert, Yami?" He pouted in thought, "Figures, you never were really innocent. Just kind."

"Yugi... please leave..." Yami mumbled.

Yugi beemed up at him, raising a hard, "CERTAINLY LORD IL PALAZZO! ANYTHING FOR YO- Ahem, sure thing Yami. I shall leave while I have my innocence, la di da!" He skipped away humming a tune stopping as he was far from hearing range, "Innocent? Certainly NOT, Yami..."

Ryou noticed the light smiling down at him, "Hi Yugi."

This startled the other, who whirred round, "R-Ryou! Erm, hello... Wow, I never saw you there! You're very quiet."

The white haired hikari frowned as he watched the youth make his way down the corridor, "That... was strange..." He shrugged the thought off, pushing the bathroom door open.

Yami greeted him with a usual small smile, Marik waving enthusiasticly at him, "Heya Ryou! Wanna' watch Bakura strip?"

"Nobody's watching me strip!" Bakura snapped, he sighed, running a

hand through his hair, "Honestly... Ryou, don't listen to him, he thinks he's a tv

reporter or somethin' like that. You can just leave and do whatever you were

doing before."

"Hey, maybe you should keep an eye on Bakura for me?" Yami suggested, "It's more likely he'll allow you to watch him."

"I-I- would not!" Bakura stammered, "Think what you want, but I'd prefer to be alone."

Ryou blinked at the trio, "Erm... I was only looking to see where you two had gone, I couldn't find you in your rooms. But, I'll leave if you like."

The tombrobber winced at his light's voice, he sure knew how to hit someone's sensitive spot... "No, it's alright. As a matter of fact I agree with Yami for once, so clear off Pharaoh, you too Blondie, Ryou's staying here with me. I'd rather have him here than you guys."

The light remained silent as the ther two swiftly left, "'Kura...? Would you like me to leave while you get in?"

Bakura smiled to himself why not let his hikari stay? There was no harm in showing him a little flesh, who knows? He might actually like it. He then smirked hard, teasing his little light didn't seem such a bad idea, and now it was show time.

"Hmm? No, it's fine, you just sit over there."

Ryou nodded slowly, taking a seat not so far away from the tombrobber.

If there was an award for the sweetest hikari, Ryou would have won it. The light gazed out of the nearby window, not daring to look away as his yami was supposedly 'getting undressed'.

Bakura smiled at this, kneeling down beside him, "Something wrong?"

Ryou snapped out of his gaze, shaking his head, "N-No! Sorry, I was just-"

"Hey, it's ok." The tombrobber cupped a cheek in his hand, "You looked a little upset by something that's all, anything you'd like to tell me?"

The light nodded slowly, "Your bath's getting cold..."

Bakura raised his eyebrows, "Yeah, I guess it is..." He got up slowly, "By the way, you don't need to stare out of the window, I'm not shy. After all, I had to share a body with you once."

Ryou looked up at him, "What did you think about me? You know, when you had to share a body?"

"Personally..." The other frowned in thought, "I don't know... you as an induvidual were very... well, you weren't like other people I've come across at least."

"How...?"

"Hmm?" Bakura turned to the other, "Well, they just weren't very nice... and this is from even before I knew Yami existed."

"Wow... so, you knew Yami as a child?"

The tombrobber smiled to himself, "Yep. I first saw him when he was about five, and I was seven, with a few others from my village we snuck into the palace. But we had been caught walking around the palace so some of us held the guards back while the rest of us ran off. That was the first time I'd ever seen the palace, and the last I'd ever see of the guys who got caught. But we came across the prince's room during our exploration, and Yami was REALLY tiny! It was so funny... He had little pudgy arms 'n everything."

Ryou nodded slowly, immediatly looking away as the other removed his shirt. He blinked, galncing at his yami in the corner of his eye, maybe he wouldn't notice? Then again, he probably would, that's the problem with having a yami like Bakura, he'll know exactly when you're staring at him... Damn!

"Something wrong Ryou?"

The light screwed his face up, dammit this guy was good... "Huh? Oh, no."

"Hmm, well, if you insist."

Ryou frowned in thought, Bakura said himself he wasn't shy, so there'd be no harm in having a little look right? He slowly turned his head, eyes making their way over the yamis body which actually didn't look that bad seeing as he was over 5000 years old...

Bakura smirked hard to himself, it seemed his light was enjoying this somewhat, "Hey Ryou, hold onto my shirt for me."

The hikari snapped out of his trance as the clothing was thrown at him, "Er... ok." He folded the shirt up neatly, placing it on his lap.

"Wow, thanks. You even folded it up for me. But hey, I'm not into formality so you don't have to do that for lil' ol' me!" He laughed at the other's blank expression, "Hey, I'm just kiddin' around. You can be my slave if you like... then you'll get a promotion as my 'personal' slave... Bare in mind you must under-go more difficult tasks for me. But..." He crept up to his light, grabbing hs chin, "It means we can get to know each other a little better..."

Ryou looked away quickly as heat rose to his cheeks, "Er, I think we probably know enough about each other already, having shared the same body."

Bakura nodded slowly, his attention now on undoing his jeans, "I suppose, but you know... We may know plenty as it is, but I'm sure there's a lot more you don't know about me. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to try and get to know each other better... It would be quite fun though, wouldn't you agree?"

"I guess so..."

"Aww c'mon Ryou! Where's the enthusiasm?" Bakura smirked down at his light, "Anybody would jump at the chance to want to stay and watch his royal highness bath..."

Ryou wore a puzzled look, "Weren't we talking about getting along! And the way you called yourself highness makes you sound like Yami."

The tombrobber raised an eyebrow, "Hmm? Oh, that thing... Yeah, but I'm the elusive King of Theives dear hikari!" He winked at the other slyly, "Asides the art of theivery, I have many other talents, some of which I'd be more than happy to demostrate to you."

The hikari blinked, staring at the floor, "Er... I-I..." He screwed up his face, hiding his blush from the other. "It's ok... You don't have to, I-I'm fine! Really!"

"You sure?"

Ryou nodded slowly, pouting as the yami dropped his jeans on his head, he raised his head slightly eyes widening, "Uh..." The light added the clothing to the small pile sitting on his lap, resting his head in his palms. A strange curiosity overcame the hikari, who leant round peering, catching a glimpse of the tombrobber's front before looking away again, running a hand through his hair.

Curiosity killed the cat but brought an interesting discovery upon the light, though he couldn't deny it, his yami was BIG...

Bakura now wore a confused look, had Ryou been looking... down there? He smirked hellishly, this could become VERY interesting...

Ryou was now in a difficult situation, staring at his yami now only clad in his boxers. It wasn't like he minded or anything, he just didn't know how much more he wanted to see. With a little more thought, the hikari smiled. Bakura, having said himself he wasn't shy, gave Ryou a strange urge just to see whether this was true, he smiled harder, his yami was right, getting to know each other better would be fun...

Everything seemed to have gone slow motion as the tomrobber set to remove the last of his clothing, Ryou staring in awe. Ok, this did kind of make him a perv, but hey! Like anybody would care, after all, the light had successfully knocked Malik out cold not so long ago. He smiled hard, eyes captivated as hey wandered over the yamis body. Ryou blinked slowly, noticing as the heat rose in his cheeks. He decided maybe being curious was a bad thing, blushing harder as the heat now travelled down to 'other areas'. The hikari screwed his face up, not believing what was happening, did... did he really have feelings... for HIM! His own yami, the one who had trapped him in his sadistic madworld, hurting his own friends! Ryou looked away immediatly, it was so confusing, he didn't know /what/ he wanted. Besides, telling Bakura was too risky, what if he didn't feel the same? Would he be alright with it? What if he weren't? Would Bakura go back to his old self, manipulating him into a false sense of security before turning to leave, never wanting to see his hikari again, denying the fact that he even existed?

By now Bakura had already lowered himself into the bathtub, white tresses floating on the waters surface, he frowned, noticing the look on his light's face.

"Hey, Ryou?"

The other snapped out of his thoughts, nodding hastily in reply. "Y-Yes... I was just thinking..."

"About what?"

"Hmm?" Ryou turned his head, watching his yami.

Bakura sighed, pulling himself up into a sitting position, "Well, from what I'm seeing, you're either feelin' ill of something's really getting to you." He smiled, laying back down, "You can't hide it from me Ryou, now come on, tell your dear old yami what's troubling you."

"Nothing." The hikari mumbled, earning an unconvinced look from the other.

The tombrobber leant on the edge of the bath, "As if I haven't heard that line before, people tell me that and the next moment they're tryin' to commit suicide." He paused, "Not that I think you would though! After all, you're a very responsible person and if you really don't want to tell me... then... I guess it's alright..." Bakura drew circles on the side of the bath with his index finger. "I'll just let you get on with things, while I lay here feeling guilty for not being there when my little Ryou-kun needed me the most."

Ryou blinked at him in a confused manner, "Ryou...kun?"

"Yes! You're my lil' Ryou-kun!" Bakura winked at him before turning away, smirking hard.

BANG!

The yami almost lept out of the bathtub as Marik kicked the door open, "HAHA! I AM THE MARIKA!" He paused for a second pulling a sour face, "Eeeeeeew! Ryou why the heck are you gonna' actually stay with this guy?" Lavender eyes widened, "Woah... did you watch him- you know, get in?"

Before Ryou could reply, Marik let out a suprised laugh, "Ooooh, I never knew you were like that! You dirty, dirty boy..."

"It's not like that!" Ryou snapped, "Now go away!"

There was the non-too familiar giggle of the pharaoh's hikari as he watched the scene, "Ryou's got a crush on the tombrobber!"

"No I haven't!" The other said, sighing heavily.

The two hikaris smiled slyly as their yamis came to see what was going on. The pharaoh quickly covered his lights eyes as the tombrobber stood up, "CAN'T A GUY TAKE A BATH IN PRIVACY!"

"Nah. We're having too much fun "Malik retorted, "So Ryou, I just heard you have a lil' crush..."

"THAT'S IT!"

Marik screamed, turning on his heel as Ryou stormed up to them, "I don't wanna' get knocked out like my dumbass yami!" The assasin ran after his light, "DUMBASS! I'LL GIVE YOU DUMBASS!"

"Oh dear..." Yami said, he turned round, eyes widening, "Ryou, I'll have you know I took no part in this whatsoever."

"JUST GET OUT!" Ryou replied, "Or would you like me to show you the way?"

"No no, that's fine." The pharaoh decided, "Come on Yugi."

The light whined loudly, "But Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaami..."

"No buts."

Yugi paused, "Yami..."

"What?"

"I can see your butt."

They winced as the bathroom door slammed shut, the light pouting, "What? You said 'no buts'. I saw your butt... No! Don't punish me! Actually, please do."

Yami wore a blank expression, "Pardon?"

"Punish me pharaoh for all I'm worth! I mean-. Hey Yami, on the history channel they're going to talk about the ancient kings of Egypt!"

"THEY ARE!" The yami's face lit up, he grabbed the other's hand, "Come on Yugi!"

"Oh yes!" Yugi cried as he was whisked away, "Bring on the punishment! I mean- egypt! YAY! Hey, do you think they might have pictures of you on the tv?"

"Probably." The pharaoh said.

The hikari smiled to himself, "Goooooood..."

Marik whooped as he raced down the corridor away from his rabid yami, "Hello peeps! It's me, your godamn sexy host for today, Marik Ishtar! I'm a little busy right now, as you can see, but I'll still give you a brief update of events! Ok then, Yugi's gone evil and is having a sudden craving of his yami. Ryou's gone pervy and I'm being chased by Malik! WHOOHOO! That's all from me for now so it's back to Ryou and Bakura!"

Ryou stomped back to his seat irratibly, folding his arms, which earnt an amused glance from his darker half.

"Hmmm... I've never seen you so angry before, well, scrap that, I've never seen you angry!" Bakura sighed to himself, "Well, I guess there's a first time for everything."

The hikari stared at him nodding slowly, "I guess they just tend to be annoying..."

"Yep. Sounds like those guys to me." Bakura replied, laughing afterwards, "But hey, you sure gave them a good scare! Personally I always thought you were a quiet little thing, but you turn out to be quite the explosive when you need to." He smiled wickedly, "I like that in a person..."

Ryou frowned at him, looking away, "Hmn. Whatever you say..."

"Awww... and now you're getting all stroppy with me..."

"No I'm not."

"Are to."

"Are not."

"ARE TO-OOO!"

"ARE NOT!"

"What do you call this then Ryou, a friendly chat?" Bakura jeered.

"No. Reasoning with my stubborn yami!" Ryou snapped.

The yami raised his index finger, "Reasoning with your stubborn, sexy yami." He paused, crinkling his nose, "I don't get baths, they're pointless, you think so?"

Ryou sighed heavily, making his way over to the other, kneeling down beside the bathtub, "The point of a bath is to wash yourself in it. It's not supposed to be some great adventure you know." He dipped a hand into the water, slowly moving it back and forth.

"What are you doing...?" Bakura asked, watching the light's bored expression.

"I don't know..." Ryou mumbled. He glanced up slowly, meeting his yamis usual cold brown eyes. "It's cold..." The hikari said slowly, "Aren't you going to get out?"

"Nah, it's alright." Bakura smiled, brushing hair away from the light's face, "Why? Would you like me to?"

Ryou paused for a moment, "Well most people don't sit in cold baths." He smiled back, pouting as the other ruffled his hair.

"Alright then." Bakura replied, and without any warning he stood up, his light yelping and falling backwards onto the floor.

"KURA! You could've told me you were getting out!" Ryou blurted, flushing madly.

The tombrobber grabbed for a towel, wrapping it round his waist, "Huh? Oh, sorry about that. I guess I wasn't paying attention." He gasped, "But how could I say that about my own little hikari!" Bakura winked down at him, stepping out of the bathtub, "Did I startle you or something?"

Ryou stared up at him before dropping back down, "No, not at all..."

"You sure? Your cheeks have gone red."

The hikari's eyes widened, blushing even more, "Well it's pretty stuffy in here."

The tombrobber smirked, standing beside him, "How can that be? The bath's cold." He noticed as the light stared away in hope of finding an excuse, "Oh, and the window's right open."

Ryou screwed up his face, blinking as his yami who knelt over him on all fours, leaning close to his ear, "I understand what you mean." He whispered, making the other shudder underneath him.

"No! It's not like that! Really!" The hikari said, he winced suddenly as Bakura brought his face close, "Ryou..."

Ryou screwed his face up, stopping as the other cupped a cheek in his hand, stroking a thumb over it softly, "Ryou... it's alright... I DO know what you mean..."

"But... I thought you would hate me for-"

The hikari was silenced Bakura pressed his lips against his own, a hand brushing against his skin under his shirt. Ryou remained slient as his yami pulled away slowly, smiling weakly.

"What else did you think I was talking about, Ryou? I love you too."

(End chapter)

Mai- /starts crying/ OH MY GOD! I DID IT! I DID IT! I FINISHED THE CHAPTER!

Bakura- /sighs as tears flood the room/ That's great 'n all, but we're gonna' drown if you don't stop.

Mai- I CAN'T HELP IT! I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF! I OWE IT ALL TO MY LOYAL FA-

Bakura- JUST STOP IT WITH THE DAMN CRYIN'!

Mai- Oh, ok!

Bakura- Thank you...

Mai- Well, that's another chappy complete/sniff/ I think I'm gonna'-

Bakura- NO! DON'T!

Mai- Fine... Right, as I was sayin', that's all from me and Bakura. Join us in the next crazy chapter of 'Yamis of Torture'!


	10. Chapter Ten: Sparkle sparkle

Yamis of Torture

Mai: Whoops, I've gone and made you all have another late wait for me to update! (Wow, good rhyming...) I'M SORRY!

Bakura: Ok ok, we get the point, now start typing dammit!

Mai: Fine... I send many thanks to the following people!

**S.Chensu and Luff**_Primevera_ _Took_**teka**_Computerfreak101_**Chelsea or Fangirl111**_AnimeLoverAngel_**kalimoto**

Bakura: Right mortal, type.

Mai: I'M GOING TO TYPE DAMMIT!

Bakura: 00'

Chapter Ten: Sparkle sparkle

Anybody would realise by now that the life the three hikaris is far from normal. A while back they were but normal teenagers, living normal lives. Well Marik DID have a bit of rough patches here and there, but he coped didn't he?

But even so, it wasn't untill the latest craze of 'Duel Monsters' hit the scene that the hikaris lives were turned upside down. By upside down I mean it quite literally, especially if you get lost in the soulroom of an ancient Pharaoh. Then you may find yourself spending friday night on twisting staircases, instead of sitting infront of the television or playing on your game console.

As the card game soon grew in popularity, tournaments were held, which was when the hikaris discovered that this game had a few dark secrets to tell, if it had a mouth to tell them however. Though cards can't speak, but to some, they have a heart. During their lives the hikaris all came across pretty, shiny, golden items... Or the millenium items if you prefer. Some were heirlooms, normal items on a shop stall, or your grandfather's damn good luck when venturing into old Egyptian tombs. Either way, the discovery of these items turned things from bad, to worse.

Our hero in this tale, a teenage boy named Yugi Muto, posesses the millenium puzzle. With it came not a nice little set where you can polish it daily and kiss it whenever you like, but a Pharaoh. Strange? Yes. But this would become the most normal thing in Yugi's life, especially as he began to make new friends. Then entered our next hikari, Ryou Bakura. Who, unlike Yugi, didn't really get such a nice 'free gift' with his item, the millenium ring. Instead he had the 'honour' of becoming the host body for an ancient tombrobber, and with this brought many a problem for Yugi and his friends, have you ever tried being put into your favourite card before and fighting as them with the threat of the card graveyard looming nearby! Nope, bet you haven't. This proved to be one of their mild problems as things progressed, but everything proved to be alright in the end for the Yu-gi-oh! gang. When Yugi would change into his alter-ego 'Yami', he'd whip out his deck and slaughter his oppenents, saving the day once again.

Enter Marik, a so called 'bad guy' at the begining of the Battle City tournament. He mind controlled a lot of people into being his 'Mind Slaves' (Ha, how original) using his own pretty, shiny, golden item, the millenium rod. Let's admit it, the poor guy didn't really have the best childhood, being stuck underground for ages, almost as if his parents were wanting him to become a mole of some sort... But away from the mole bit, we all know that when he was a sweet little boy, his sister took him out into the light one day, where they met 'the stranger'. He foretold the awakening of the Pharaoh before leaving the youths in a trail of confusion. The pair went back to their little home deep under the sand to find that there was a trap on the door and that Odion, their adopted brother, had been punished for their abscense. This was when Marik developed his own alter-ego, 'Malik'. Malik wasn't really that merciful on people and quite brutally got rid of Marik's dear old father...

Since these moments there have been dangerous times for the trio, including flames, countless risky duels and several trips to the shadow realm. Some would say that the hikaris will remain with such cursed lives for the rest of their time, but that's not true! Now the yamis and hikaris have somehow managed to find a way to live under the same roof without too much fuss. Though there is the odd debate here and there over simple things, which the hikaris do well to stay out of.

But lately things have gotten ever stranger than before in this strange house, especially for the little white haired hikari and his yami, who have now admitted deeper feelings for each other. (All together now, aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh...)

(A.N: Yugi: YUCK! Mai: This is MY story! flicks Yugi away Yugi: MEEP!)

The hikari mumbled something under his breath, brown eyes slowly opening. Ryou squinted in the bright light above, blinking shortly afterwards as he became wary of his surroundings. "Why am I in the bathroom...?" He asked to nobody. He turned his head, eyes narrowing, "Kura's here too..." As he turned to look away an arm snaked round his waist, "Hello Ryou-kun." The figure grumbled.

"Hmm? Hi Kura'."

"By the way, if you can't remember I had the most wonderful time screwing that small ass of yours on the bathroom floor earlier."

Ryou nodded slowly, "Ah, that would be why we're both naked."

"That might be it." Bakura replied, resting his head on his light's shoulder. "Soooo... what now?"

"What... now?" The hikari said, earning a quick nod from the other. "You know, it's getting kind of late so I don't think there really is much to do."

"Reeeeeeeeally? I have an idea..." Bakura smirked slyly.

"NO." The hikari said, grabbing for his clothes, "The only thing you're doing is getting dressed mister."

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Fine, FINE. But just incase you change your mind, I'm always ready for another go!"

"We'll see..." Ryou replied, getting up on his feet.

BANG.

"YO PEOPLE OF THE BATHROOM!"

There was no doubt that the one who just happened to barge in at such unfortunate timing would be Yugi. He let out a whoop, his enthusiasm slowly dying as he decided to take a second glance at the pair.

"EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW! You're naked!" Amethyst eyes blinked with a hint of curiosty, "Hey, are you guys naturists or something?" The hikari obviously wasn't expecting an answer, holding his hand out as Ryou went to speak, "Wow, that's really interesting you know? I'll have to get Yami into this! I mean, you two have the right thing going on here you know, yami and hikari! The ever-lasting duo!"

Bakura smirked to himself, folding his arms, "It would indeed prove interesting for the Pharaoh to undertake the hobby of naturism, (A.N: If that words exists, I'm using it. If not, I'm using it anyway! XD) but in truth me and Ryou underwent rather pleasurable activities on the bathroom floor, resulting in us being naked."

Yugi tilted his head to the side, pouting, "It's rude to use big words infront of people like me you know!"

"And you think I'm bothered about rudeness?" The tombrobber replied, putting on the last of his clothing. The hikari blinked a few more times, remaining silent.

"No..." Bakura added, "I didn't think so..." He smiled slyly, ruffling the youth's hair, "Well, Ryou and I had better be on our way now, hadn't we?"

Ryou nodded in reply, heading out after his yami. Yugi pouted, eyes wideneing at something on the floor, "Hey guys? What exactly have you been doing then! Because I think you've left a bit of a mess..."

Bakura looked over his shoulder, "Er... that's not ours, it's Yami's!"

"REALLY!" Yugi exclamied, clasping his hands together. "Oooohh... that dirty lil' Pharaoh! Heheheheheheeeeeeeeeee..."

Ryou frowned and glomped his yami around the head as they strolled along the corridor, "'Kura! That was mean!" He yelped in suprise as Bakura pushed him up against a nearby wall, pressing their lips together.

"Hmm..." Yugi stormed out of the bathroom, "I have examined the source and I detect that the m- oh..." He smiled to himself, "Oooh! I SO new you two were gay! How sweet!"

"Thank you..." Ryou mumbled, "I think I'll be heading to my room now, it's getting pretty late."

"WHAT! But we haven't had pudding yet!" Yugi screached, almost defeaning the pair.

"Pudding...?"

The light nodded, "Yep! Look, I had to eat Malik's cooking a while ago whille you two were having a merry old time, so now you have to return the favour!"

Ryou rolled his eyes, "What would you like then?"

Yugi flashed a quick, but hellish smirk, "Er, first I'll start with pancakes, then ice cream... chocolate... stawberries and cream..."

"You're not having that much food!" The other hikari said. Earning a small death glare from the other. "Why not...? Oh, and it's called 'pudding'." This was the perfect moment for Yugi to break into a little song, "Yeah! Pudding! It begins with a 'p' and ends with a 'g', it's PUDDING!"

"DID I HEAR PUDDING!"

The white haired pair wore similar unimpressed looks as Marik ran up to the small group, Yugi beemed up at him, "You certainly did brother! Come join me in the quest for pudding!"

"I'll join you lil' dude!" The blonde replied, the duo making a quick secret handshake.

"We shall never surrender in the fight for pudding! The evil villian, Bakura, is holding the master of puddings captive!"

"Wow, greedy bugger..." Marik mused.

Yugi frowned in thought, eyes narrowing, "But we should not worry, after all, his joints are getting rather rusty."

"I see, well all it takes is a good kick at the back of the knee eh? Then his tiny little legs will snap in seconds!" The blonde added.

Bakura felt rather insulted at that last comment. If anybody had 'tiny little legs' around here, it would be Yami. "Hey, haven't you noticed that I'm standing right here?"

Yugi screamed in sudden panic, whirring round, "STALKER! MARIK! LET'S GET HIM!" He made a quick peace sign at the yami, "Don't take it too seriously ok? It's all in the ways of role playing, and the desperate urge for pudding."

Ryou sighed heavily, "I know that you're right in the middle of your role playing, but how about you 'heros' take a break and have some pudding?" He looked over his shoulder, smiing at his darker half, "I'm afraid the evil villain won't be fighting you yet, he's already had enough action for today."

"Maybe another day?" Yugi mumbled.

"Yes, maybe." The taller light replied, "Well you guys had better come with me then..." The other two hikaris let out a cheer, singing in unison.

"It begins with a 'p' and ends with a 'g', IT'S PUDDING! PUDDING! PUDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!"

"By the way," Marik began, "Where are we going again?"

_"And that concludes today's show, join us in the next thrilling episode as we discover more about Pharaoh Atemu. What kind of person was he? Did he share feelings of love for anybody? All will be revealed soon!"_

"BORING!" Malik yelled, folding his arms abruptly.

Yami sat on a chair beside him stirring his tea, pushing his glasses up every so often.

"Hey... since when did you need glasses!" The assasin said.

Crimson eyes glanced to the side, a smug smirk playing across his lips, "I only need them for reading and watching television, asides that I think they make me look quite intelligent."

"Yeah, for someone who's 1/3 blonde."

"That is not an important matter, what does matter is that you are ALL blonde."

Malik raised an eyebrow at that remark, sitting up, "You take this whole Pharaoh and royalty stuff WAY too seriously..." He rolled his eyes as he heard the familiar chanting of the less-mature hikaris. "Great... I'm taking off now, but I'll tell you one thing Yami. You already know what happened in your past. Oh, and another thing, about the part of the show being 'thrilling', I've gotten more thrills off Seto's speeches than that show!"

"Really?" Yami mused, "Well I guess we'll have to keep that in mind for later. I'm sure he can always squeeze you into his busy schedule."

The assasin shuddered at the thought, "No thanks, but feel free to book an appointment of your own. He's always wanted to do anything dominate over you!"

It was times like these that Yami wished he wasn't holding a cup of tea. He had been taking a sip as the other had spoken, and it resulted in fried leather and several Egyptian curses... Yugi ran up to his yami having heard his distress screams, "NOOOOOOO! THE LEATHER TROUSEYS! Yami, I think the best thing to do would be to take them off." Amethyst eyes had a hidden spark in them as he said this, "Yes... that would be a very good idea inde-"

"Yugi?"

The light stared up at his darker half, "Yep?"

"What did you just say?"

Yugi glanced to the side, "I didn't say anything, why?"

"Hmm... are you sure?"

"Well Marik and Ryou are talking in the kitchen, you must've been overhearing them instead."

"Ah... I see..."

Yugi beemed up at Yami warmly, embracing him tightly, "So Yami, would you like some pudding? Ryou's preparing it now."

The Pharaoh smiled and ruffled the youth's hair, "No, that's alright. I'm not very hungry."

"WHAT!" Yugi screached, "I-I mean... Malik's cooking really won't help you at all! Please eat some pudding-a-ding ding! We could always share if you like?"

"Alright then."

"YAYNESS! I mean, thanks Yami! RYOU! WE CLAIM DIBS ON THE STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM! And the choccie too... heheheheheheeeeeeeeeeee..."

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Marik grew tired of staring at his soon-to-be pudding. He turned on his heel slowly, an unusually large smile forming on his lips, "Hello and welcome back to the action down at the yami and hikari house with me your host, Marik Ishtar! Today I'd like to introduce to you the pudding master! Who, may I add, is gay and head over heels for his dear old tombrobber!"

"That's great Marik, but who exactly are you talking to?" Ryou asked.

The blonde gave the other an odd look, "Who I'm talking to! Don't you know! THEM." He started jabbing his finger at the space infront of him madly.

"THEM?"

"Yes! THEM!" Marik replied, "The people out there! My viewers!"

"Right... Well pudding's ready now so you'd better say goodbye to your 'viewers'."

Marik raised his index finger, "Yep! We'll get back to you folks after the break! Well, after pudding. So see you all then!" He smiled to himself with pride, gripping the other's shoulder, "You know, I think I was born to be tv host..."

Ryou nodded slowly, brushing the hand away, "Except you were actually born to be a tombkeeper."

"I know!" Marik declared, "Ra life sucks sometimes..."

By the time they'd reached the table Yugi and Yami were already sat in thier places, the light bearing a somewhat strange look in his eyes, "HHHHHHIIIIII RYOUUUUUUU!" He cheered, waving his arms about. The hikari smiled weakly in reply, now slightly nervous as to the look the other gave his yami.

"Er... hello to you too..." Ryou said, placing the bowls down on the table. Yugi smiled a picked up a strawberry, swirling it in some chocolate before licking it off slowly, "Aren't you going to have some, Yami?" He made a quick wink, noticing the Pharaoh's cheeks flush suddenly. "Er... yes..."

"Then here." Yugi said, holding out another strawberry.

Yami took the fruit gingerly, eyes not leaving the youth as he began to nibble on it. Yugi had been acting rather strangely lately, with odd moments where he'd give such a devious smile then mumble to himself. It just made him wonder what exactly made the teen do this... He watched as the hikari took another strawberry, grabbing for a can of whipped cream, he dipped the fruit in chocolate before balancing a large blob of cream on top, and the Pharaoh could tell that the results would be messy...

Marik raised an eyebrow as the white haired teen began to walk away, "Where exactly are you going?" He asked, catching the other's attention. Ryou stopped and looked over his shoulder, "I'm off to see 'Kura."

"Awwwww! How sweet!" The blonde mused, "You've found love and now you've even given him a nickname!"

"But I usually call him 'Kura..."

Marik smiled at him, laughing under his breath, "Now now Ryou, denial will get you nowhere!"

"I wasn't de-"

"It's alright, I understand. Now off you go!" The tombkeeper grinned in amusement, making a hand manouver, "Bless, kids these days..."

"Though you're one of the biggest kids around." Yami said, taking a sip of his tea quickly.

"Well you're one of the biggest fogies around!" Marik replied, grabbing the whipped cream. "Sheesh, you're so old yet you haven't even got a beard!"

Yugi paused from his eating, "That's because he's special."

The blonde smirked at the pair, "Special? Ah, I see... been crossing your legs for too long, eh Yami?"

"No!" The Pharaoh snapped. Suddenly realising that he'd been sitting at the table with crossed legs as they had been talking.

"Oooh... bet you'd make a bit of an upset in bed... never mind. I guess not all of us can be well endowed." Marik noticed the almost stern pout the other gave him, smirking hellishly at the once forgotten can in his hand. "Ah cheer up Pharaoh, here, maybe this'll put a smile on your face!"

Yami almost screamed as the hikari pushed down on the top of the can, his eyesight now clouded by white. Yugi seemed rather delighted by his friend's action however, grabbing for another strawberry. He smiled then wiped part of the fruit along the Pharaoh's face, licking it off afterwards. "Ooooh... sparkle sparkle..."

"Swvahrkle swvahrkle?" Yami asked. (A.N: Please note his mouth is now full of whipped cream, as well as the rest of his face for that matter XD)

Amethyst eyes flashed, "Yes... sparkle sparkle..."

Malik raised an eyebrow slowly, "It sounds like some sort of way to express extreme pleasure..."

The Pharaoh swiped the white substance off his face, flicking it aside hastily, "I highly doubt that," He said, "My hikari is innocent compared to yours."

The assasin rolled his eyes, getting up out of his seat, (A.N: I dunno' how he came into this bit with all the pudding and that, maybe he just decided to tag along to be with his hikari, awww... how sweet of him...)

"Face it Pharaoh, your hikari has kissed goodbye to his innocence and he's frustrated over you!" Malik smiled to himself, "Be your normal stubborn self and deny the truth if you like, but that thing ain't innocent."

Marik pouted at him, "Hey Mali-kun! Where you goin'!"

"Mali-kun!" The assasin gave his light an odd look, "I'm off to see Ryou and Bakura. Surely they aren't as frustrated as these two over here."

"WE ARE NOT FRUSTRATED!" Yami boomed, earning a pat on the head from

Malik, "Well you sound like you are."

Marik waved as his yami walked away, "Bye bye Mali-kun!" He sighed to himself, running a hand through blonde tresses, "Well I'm sorted in the pudding department, so I'll be taking my leave if that's alright with you two. Besides, it looks like I'll just be getting in the way of your private entertainment!"

Yami flushed madly while his light remained calm, well if it wasn't for the fact he had a very big spark in his eyes, and the Pharaoh could tell that maybe the hikari had something big in mind for him tonight...

Malik strolled along the upper floor corridor and pushed open the door to Bakura's room, finding the place deserted. He frowned at this, shrugging afterwards. The tombrobber was probably in the bathroom or something...

He continued to walk further, but as he did so his ears picked up rather strange sounds. Most people would just turn round and go back downstairs, but Malik wasn't like most people, he kept going till he got to Ryou's room, eyes widening.

"Ooooh..." The assasin crept inside, taking a seat on the floor. "Heheheee..."

_'This is brilliant!' _He thought, _'I get away from the frustrated Pharaoh then get an ivitation to view free sex! Though I doubt I was actually invited... Oh well!'_

"Yugi... I- are you... feeling alright?"

The hikari smiled as he finished off his pudding, raising his eye level, "Yes... I'm fine. Why ask?"

"Er... well you've been acting rather weird lately..."

"Weird?"

The Pharaoh widened his eyes, raising his hands, "No no! I didn't mean it- well, in a bad way. What I mean to say is that your recent behaviour has been rather unlike the Yugi I've come to know over the ye- Ah!" He backed away sweatdropping as the light got up and walked over to him, leaning forward slowly, "Maybe you're right... Maybe I HAVE been acting weird..."

"Y-Yugi...?"

The hikari smirked to himself, their faces inches apart, "You know what? I think it's time to show my true colours, 'Pharaoh'."

"When you're walkin' down the street and a man tries to get your business...do be do... and the people that you meet wanna' o- huh? Ooohh..." Lavender eyes narrowed in focus, "I hear... noises..." Like yami like hikari, as the saying would go in this situation. It seemed the light hadn't learnt the bad side to curiosity yet. (A.N: Remember chapter two? XD) Nevertheless, the blonde kept walking, laughing to himself as the cries of the Pharaoh could be heard from a distance.

"I wonder what Yugi's doing to him anyway? It's not like Yugi would be trying to kill him, that's for sure. If he wants to however, he'll have to get in line! Hahah- Huh? Mali-kun?"

Malik put a finger to his lips, the other hand jesturing for the light to enter. As the other took a seat beside him he pointed over to the bed, the hikari's eyes widening. Malik nodded in reply to the other's bewildered look, after all, talking would just go and spoil their fun! At least, that's what a pair of blondes would think...

Ryou sighed mentally in his head, did those two think he and Bakura were stupid! He tapped the yami on the shoulder, looking to his right.

"Huh? Oh- HEY!" Bakura sat up on his hikari, "What the heck do you guys think you're doing here!"

"Free movie." Malik replied bluntly.

"Minus the popcorn." His light added.

"I don't care..." Bakura growled, folding his arms, "Ryou and I are busy if you haven't already noticed, so leave!"

"Must we?" The two blondes whined in unison.

Ryou slid out from underneath his yami, "Yes. Unless we've forgotten what I did to Malik earlier?"

"No no! We haven't forgotten!" Malik stammered, grabbing his light's wrist, "Come on Marik. We'd better get going!"

"You're just scared!" Marik teased, embracing the assasin. The yami rolled his eyes, walking off with the light still clinging to him. "Whatever you say..."

The white haired pair exchanged blank looks, Bakura licking his lips afterwards, "Right then... where was I?"

"Sooo... Any ideas on what to do now?" Marik asked, his yami glancing up at him slowly, "I actually have no clue." He replied, folding his arms.

"You know what Mali-kun? You save me a lot of energy by carrying me."

"Is that so...?"

"Uh huh! And do you know something else?" Marik said, "I can hide behind your hair 'cos it's so tall!"

Malik's eye twitched suddenly as he stared up again, "That's great... really."

"I know!" The light cheered, lowering his head and making an opening at the top of his yami's hair, "Muwahahaaa... Folks, I have returned. I, Marik Ishtar, am curently disguised in my Mali-kun's hair. There is no meaning nor common sense to my actions, but who really gives a damn!"

"I do. Now stop playing around with my hair!" Malik said, begining to storm along the corridor.

"Oooo! Mali-kun's getting stressy!"

"I'M NOT GETTING STRESSY!"

Marik smiled to himself, twirling strands of hair around his finger, "Yes you are!"

"Need... to... vent... anger..."

"See! YOU'RE STRESSY!"

Malik scowled up at the light, slamming his bedroom door shut,

"Hey, Mali-kun? What exactly are you doing?"

"Oh nothing little hikari..."

"You're acting weird all of a sudden."

"I know..."

"Hey 'Kura, do you think Marik and Malik will be alright? After all, Yugi and Yami are already busy with 'other matters'." Ryou said, catching the other's attention. Bakura narrowed his eyes, poking the light on the forehead, "We're in the middle of 'other matters' ourselves, but all you can do is bring up them! Ryou, you're a very naughty hikari..."

"I was just asking." The hikari mumbled in reply. The tombrobber smiled at this, scooping the light up in his arms, "Aww! You're so sweet! Would you mind not breathing for a while? I want to hug you again."

"Er 'Kura... I can't decide when I can or can't breath you know."

"Yes you can!" Bakura said, embracing the other tightly.

Ryou winced slightly, glancing upwards, "Well... I can't... actually breath..."

"See! You decided that you can't breath!"

"Whatever... just... let go..."

Bakura whined in protest, stroking the other's hair, "But you're so cute Ryou-kun..."

"No sex then... what a shame..."

"WHAT!" The tombrobber frowned, loosening his grip, "Ah, but you can't resist me. You'd be begging for me to take you!" He laughed nervously at the blank look the other gave him, "What! A guy can dream, right?"

Marik blinked down at his yami, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, "Like I said before Mali-kun, what exactly are you doing?"

"We need to discuss things." The assasin replied, grabbing the hikari's shoulders and turning him round.

"Things?"

"Yes." Malik folded his arms slowly, "What do you think of me?"

"That's not mportnt." Marik replied, earnng a glomp around the head, "No! Don't get me wrong, but it doesn't actually matter."

"It doesn't?"

The tombkeeper shook his head, "Nope. Well, you're pretty much an all round phsycopath, but we've all been down that road before. Even Yugi. It doesn't matter what people think of you because my opinion counts alone and I think you're great!"

Malik sighed, rolling his eyes, "Ok then. You can leave if you want."

"Huh?"

"That was all I needed to know." The assasin added, laying down.

Marik paused for a moment, "Can't I stay here with you?"

There came a long silence, the pair staring at each other.

"Now why would you want to do that?"

"Because-" The tombkeeper looked away quickly, "Because I really like you."

Malik sat back up, leaning into the other's face, "Really?" The light nodded slowly in reply, backing away slightly. "Then you can stay." Malik finished, laying back down again.

Marik wore a blank look, his eye twitching as he did so, "So-... so that's all you're gonna' say!"

"Huh?"

The hikari pouted, sitting on the other's stomach, "Don't you have anything to say back to me!"

Malik stared up at the ceiling, finger in his ear, "No. Should I?" The light clenched his fists, leaning down while earning a laugh from the other. "Ah, that's right!" Malik said, "I almost forgot! I love you too." He said, ruffling the hikari's hair.

"You do?" Marik asked, eyes widening.

"No, of course not. I just said something so unlike me for no reason." Malik sighed as there came a long silence, "You really are blonde, aren't you?"

"HEEEEY!" The hikari whined, embracing his yami, "You meanie, you're blonde too you know!"

"I know, I know." The other replied, attempting to sit up with his light still clinging onto him. "I wonder how Yami's doing downstairs...?"

"Forget him!" Marik said, "Let's concentrate on something better, like me! So we can enjoy a rough night of wild sex! Sound good?"

"Sounds better than the Pharaoh, that's for sure." Malik replied.

"WHAT THE HECK-!"

The blondes turned their attention to the door, making their way outside quickly.

"What's up now Tombrobber? Is Yugi not making Yami scream enough for your liking?"

"Shut it already." Bakura growled, his eyes focused on the staircase.

Marik raised an eyebrow at the white haired pair, "I don't get. You guys just had sex, but then you went to the trouble of getting dressed just to look down at the stairs. Why not walk around naked, it's not like we'd care."

"Ryou forced me to." The tombrobber said, his hikari glomping him round the head, "Where is your dignity!" Ryou snapped, "It wasn't long ago since we already had sex, then I let you do me again because you kept whining at me!"

"Ah, yes. Thank you oh wonderful hikari. I am forever grateful." Bakura said. "For a moment there I thought you were just ashamed to see my naked body! Oh that would have been terrible!"

Malik rolled his eyes, "Whatever, what exactly were you making a fuss about any- Ra, what the hell happened there!"

"Beats me." Marik said, peering over the yami's shoulder.

The downstairs floor was now filled with a white puffy substance, making it hard to see whether anybody was down there.

"Yugi?" Ryou called out, frowning as there came no answer. "Bakura, can you just go down the steps and see what that stuff is?"

The tombrobber nodded in reply, heading downstairs, he stopped at one step, sticking a finger in the substance. "It's whipped cream..."

"How's that possible!" Marik asked, "We only had one can and I used most of it to spray at Yami's face!"

"Shadow powers..." Bakura mumbled, "But which one of them would make a whole load of whipped cream appear?"

Ryou and Marik paled instantly, both nodding at each other, "Yugi..."

Bakura's eyes widened, but he shrugged off the thought, "Alright... YAMI! HEY BAKA PHARAOH! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!"

The white haired hikari sighed, moving his yami aside, "YAMI! YUGI! SAY SOMETHING IF YOU CAN HEAR US!"

There was a long silence before something began moving in the midst of whipped cream.

"Sparkle sparkle?"

(End chapter)

Mai: Ah... Waves of joy overwhelm me as another chapter has been completed!

Bakura/Finishes draining out Mai's tears from the previous chapter/ That made no sense.

Mai: I know/starts crying/ I DID IT AGAIN! YAY!

Bakura: YOU RA-DAMNED BAKA-NE!

Mai: Erm, that's all we have time for today! I had to make this chapter a little shorter, but hopefully it's still as good as the rest. See you all in the next chappy of 'Yamis of Torture'!

Bakura/Begins to drain tears/ Stupid good-for-nothing Ra-damned-

Mai/Gets out Sanzo's 'paper fan of doom' and hits Bakura with it/ HEY! Remember to review peeps! BYE! P.S: Reading countless volumes of Saiyuki is good for you.

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